So says The Wise Woman in her Jan 4 blog entry. Excellent reminder that woman are always teaching. No matter where your children attend school, no matter what your station in life.

Ok we are gonna go waaaaay back for this one. Back to the very beginning for me. Pregnancy, childbirth, and early days of newborn mothering.  We were newly married and living in Germany when I got pregnant with our first son.  According to contemporary messages we should have been horrified or at the very least respectably disappointed. Not so. We were beside ourselves if a bit clueless. Not one to be daunted by lack of experience and resources, I figured there wasn’t anything a properly motivated person could not figure out with good books. Armed with that certainty and a library card I went to work preparing myself for this new adventure. This would be a pattern I would follow forever after. : )

My first books were understandably pregnancy and labor-related.  I can’t say h
ow it happened but for as little as I knew about both I was dead-set on natural childbirth.  It was terribly important to me. I read Leboyer’s Birth Without Violence and had deeply longed for a gentle birth.  I read Bradley. I read the original Lamaze book and was convinced childbirth did not have to be painful.  That was before my water broke. That was before the vomiting and the agonizing trip to the hospital.  That was before a whirlwind 2 hour labor and delivery in July in a WWII era Army hospital with no A/C. There was pain. Gripping, all encompassing pain. But, and I must say but, I was up and out of that hospital within a few hours- less than 8 as I recall – and driving to the hospital our baby was transferred to for surgery. I walked the few blocks from the hospital to the hotel room for the next two weeks every 3 hrs round the clock to nurse him.

It is sad to me to see the commentary on Amazon about these books now.  Dr Bradley is deemed "outdated" and "sexist".  I don’t think people realize how radical he was in pioneering birth choice nor how very recently in the whole big picture things have changed. Home birth was not an option in 1986 on an overseas military base. It probably would have been deadly for a child with spina bifida. I am grateful to have had a husband who advocated my birth plan over and over and stayed with our babies making the best of a less than ideal birthing arrangement.  While I don’t like the pain per se I do love the mobility and recovery from an unmedicated birth. I am forever indebted to these "outdated" authors for empowering me to trust my body and my ability to birth. For as progressive as birth is considered today, I am still shocked when I watch shows like the Baby Story and see how unprepared and manipulated so many women still are at birth.

Once home I devoured the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. And I DID feel like an earth mother! I remember the directions to drink a glass of water at each feeding.  I remember military-like positioning maneuvers to prevent soreness. (never worked)  I remember timeless advice to rest when the baby rested and to nurse through minor infections. Good advice both. Colin was in this impossible ‘frog brace’ which kept his hips in their sockets. It meant we had to nurse with him sitting upright on my lap. We persevered though! He made it through til his first birthday which at the time, given we knew no other nursing women, seemed like a reeeeeally long time lol!

In the following months I became fascinated with child development. Our baby had physical challenges but we were determined to maximize his potential which we were certain was great. I got  copies of books like
The Read Aloud Handbook and began to do just that. We had a teeny tiny base library that wasn’t much larger than my current home library. There was no Toys R Us or infant stim. products. I would prop brightly illustrated children’s books in eye shot of the baby to both stimulate him and encourage him to crawl. I used black and red markers on white paper plates to make geometric designs.  We read and read. (can you see the books spilling over the old radiator? <g> Oh my word, if you decide to start digging into old albums and old memories like this remember to get a box of tissues first! ; ))

Once back in the States I was at a bookstore when a woman with a slightly older baby struck up a conversation. She shared a story about her handicapped baby and how she read 15 books a day to her. This is before the internet mind you so anecdotal stories like that were stored away in my brain like buried treasure. 15 books became my goal and 15 books he got. Daily. : )  I do believe nothing was more instrumental in his development. And mine.

Another favorite from that era was The Mother’s Almanac.  It’s funny because I can’t honestly remember much from it now except for a warm fuzzy at the mention of the title. Another encouraging read assuring us that this was a marvelous adventure and could be done well. Lots of tips to achieve that goal. Lots of emphasis on fun and humor and the joy of it all.  To this day I find that to be the best way to approach the challenges of parenting. It is a  LOT of work but oh, is it fun! There are few things more entertaining than small people. : )  Few jobs that have such an incredible return.  As with the labor books I am SO grateful for that early foundation. What we lacked in resources was more than made up for in enthusiasm and confidence.  Really, these are the two essential ingredients.  You don’t need a PhD, you need joy.