Monthly Archives: March 2008

Posted on by

I saw a quote on Stacy McDonald’s blog that echoed my thoughts of late:

It is not easy to find children or adults who are dependable, careful, thorough, and faithful. So many lives seem honeycombed with small failures, neglectful of the little things that make the difference between order and chaos. Perhaps it is because they are so seldom taught that visible things are signs of an invisible reality; that common duties may be “an immeasurable ministry of love.” Keep a Quiet Heart Elizabeth Elliot (Revell, 1995)

Perseverance pt 2

Posted on by

To clarify – what I don’t mean to imply is that you must rule with an iron fist nor that there is not room for collaboration. Within a framework designed by the parents the students are free to make daily choices. (see Montessori here) Would they like to spend another week further exploring ancient Greece? Great. They are not free to pass over the Industrial Revolution entirely however because it seems ‘boring’. We are there to encourage, but also to provide balance.

Do they feel like starting with math or composition? That choice can happen. They are not free to declare that math is not compatible with their long term plans therefore they choose not to do it. What we have found is that the novel that began with a rough start often becomes a favorite several chapters later. Subjects that once held no appeal become quite enjoyable when the student begins to master them. Children (and adults!) often confuse boredom or dislike with frustration and lack of comprehension. Once the subject is better known to them and they experience regular success it is no longer drudgery and often becomes a favorite.

Case in point is one of our daughters and her piano lessons. Piano is a given at our house. We have a lovely teacher and a wonderful instrument. We had one child who was struggling however and begged to quit. Our policy is that they should continue with lessons at least through the jr high years, which will send them into the world proficient. We were more than reluctant to have her quit, but her arguments were compelling and we wondered if she didn’t just indeed lack the aptitude as she insisted. Our instructor asked us to persevere with this student and to practice MORE and not less as one would perhaps have been inclined to do. It worked beautifully. We came up alongside her, provided lots more support and now she often works to finish her other subjects so she can get to the piano.

Our children need not be chained to a cheerless desk. I have taught phonics to busy bodies hanging upside down off the couch. I have seen those little people later practice reading aloud to older siblings while they work a handcraft. They paint, they are surrounded by classical and contemporary music, they spend enormous amounts of time outdoors. They are able to do this when their studies and their environment are well ordered. Their responsibilities can be met easily and pleasantly, thus enabling them to have large sections of their day to call their own.

Our position is that doors should not be shut to them because they have not been adequately prepared nor shortsighted. We are obligated, imo, to see to that. Should they elect not to walk through those doors that is a viable option. They should not be forced to make that choice by default however because of childish indiscretion.

We have worked with colleges in different states and the military system. Reality is, except for the extremely rare Ivy League school, most colleges are very black and white about prereq’s. They just want to see so many years of lab science to include chemistry, three yrs of higher math with Alg II, 2 yrs of foreign language and so on. The military recruiter needs a very standard transcript as well. It is a disservice to mislead our children about these realities. While you can experiment with alternative daily schedules and choice of texts, bottom line is this content and these study skills are what will be required for many walks of life. Like I said, that may not end up being their walk. That should always be a choice truly made of their own volition and not because they lacked the education to pursue them.

I wish I could have included the private mail I have received. I can say with certainty there are few students who regret the knowledge they have gained. Usually if there is a complaint it was over methodology or teacher personality and not content and those are easily remedied. There ARE many who become regretful and even resentful over their limited life options when they have not been prepared properly. The argument is that one could make up for that lack when one becomes sufficiently motived. However, we never, ever have the same quantity, nor quality, of time as adults that we have as children to do this. Additionally, even if one is properly motivated, the study skills and other habits that would enable a person to forge ahead in an accelerated manner are not generally available on demand. They take consistent effort over a long period of time to develop. They are gained only at a great price when acquired later in life. I speak from experience here.

So, my assertion is that education can and should be pleasant, collaborative, and thorough. It can be all those things and well-ordered at once. We need not choose between happy or well prepared children. They can be both! My position is that the success they experience by the development of good habits, study skills, and mastery of subject content breeds far more contentment and satisfaction than 100% self-direction ever could.

Perseverance or why we are not unschoolers

Posted on by

We have thoroughly enjoyed reading The Door in the Wall together these past weeks. I have selected some lines for the children to make into notebook pages as keepsakes, words which I hope resonate with them as they have with me. Yesterday’s page* is one example:

Img009_2

This sums up my feeling about education and life in general. It has made me reflect upon the growing sentiment in homeschool circles about unschooling and child-initiated learning. Having both babies and adult children has afforded me perspective about this that I could not have imagined when we began this journey. No longer is educational theory simply an abstract, intellectual pasttime. It is a reality. One that has consequences in young people’s lives.

Early on, my foremost goal was delight. I envisioned a family united in a common endeavor. In all the literature I came across it seemed to be assumed that the one way to ensure that cooperative spirit was to follow the children’s lead at all times and to avoid coercion like the plague. My military officer husband was always more than a bit skeptical. He had experienced tremendous success with a completely contrary method and remained unconvinced that left to one’s one devices the formation of that level of discipline was likely. He had a different understanding of what constituted true satisfaction and happiness. It wasn’t ease.

Over time we have watched families of all different ideologies move from early childhood through puberty and on to launching adults into the world. What I have seen of many who proclaim the virtues of non-coercive methods is ironically a subtle, often mutual, disrespect and lethargy as time goes on. This seems particularly so when the children involved were male. Men seem to have an innate sense of authority and order. They can detect when it is lacking and this seems to breed contempt, versus that overwhelming gratitude many moms hope for when they, in all sincerity, allow the children to call the shots. For those with more compliant children there was less contempt, yet many entered adult life lacking skills, organizational and otherwise, that would have greatly benefitted them well when faced with the challenges of marriage and career life.

The reality of SATs and the level of proficiency required to achieve personal goals has also factored into our methods. The truth is, you cannot make up many years of higher math in a semester or two no matter how motivated you may be. You may own your regret, to be sure (and there is some merit to that), but in the language subjects – math, music, language – there is no replacement for years of steady, consistent effort.

It is the rare child who is able to sense the need for such sustained effort. They have not lived long enough to experience (and witness in others) an abundance of rewards and consequences. They are, well, childish. That is why they got parents. This is not to say we have carte blanche to enforce their education by brutal means. Mercy and gentle guidance are hallmarks of our faith. It is possible to plant in our children’s hearts some seeds of understanding and to ensure their cooperation, although we may not have their complete comprehension until they are much, much older.

Literature is one tool we have used. We read together regularly and discuss the merits and pitfalls we see in the characters decisions. We cheer when we see our heroes overcome adversity through sheer strength of will. We sadly acknowledge the poor choices of others. We remind each other of these when our own determination waivers.

We agree with the discouraged student that they may never use their algebra formulas in ‘real life’. However, there will be countless occasions when they will need to solve difficult problems. They may never speak latin to another living soul. They may need to dissect an argument down to its core meanings however, for which the skills learned in their studies will serve them well.

The world may tell them to ‘Follow Your Bliss’. We promise them that it is more virtuous to learn to face distasteful tasks with good cheer, thus developing their own blissful nature in any circumstance in which they may find themselves. The academic skills they hone today may not translate literally but they will definitely be applied across the board into many real life situations for which there is no substitute for resolute determination. So, yes, there is a reason and they will, indeed, thank you later.

We have rejected the notion that our children will thrive without some outside motivation. In fact we, as well as many of our peers, have grown children who now say, “I wish you wouldn’t have let me quit ____. I wish you would have insisted I ____.” They realize now they did not have the inner fortitude to push on by themselves and would have liked to have relied upon the backbone of others when their own failed them. They have come to realize that there is only one sure route to satisfaction and that is the road traversed with no small amount of effort.

I would not say we have overwhelming regrets. We do have different perspective today. We have seen that sweat equity early on pays dividends to our children later. We recognize that nothing breeds success like success. There is no better motivator! We therefore have the confidence to unapologetically set up an outside framework, to insist upon certain standards of excellence, to shoot for predetermined levels of proficiency, and to assure them that the harder it is to do something, the more comfortable we feel after we have done it. We run this academic race as if to win – together.

*Brother Luke encouraged Robin, the paralyzed boy, to brave the elements and swim in the river daily as therapy. Later, when the castle is besieged Robin is able to slip out of the grounds, cross the icy river and propel himself on crutches to get help.

Blast From the Past – Skincare

Posted on by

FacemaskWay back one Christmas while I was still in junior high my aunt gave all of us homemade oatmeal facial scrub in pretty jars. Along with this came a book called Back to Basics by Alexandra York. Ms York gave detailed instructions for making all manner of skincare products from cleansing creams to toners to wrinkle concentrates and shampoos. Some of the exotic ingredients were off-putting and while I put to use some of the more basic recipes over the years, others remained mysterious.

Alice Cantrell recently posted about chemicals in our personal care products. Dr Mercola has written about these chemicals being detected in remote parts of the body. Sounds farfetched until you consider all the medications now being dispensed through the skin such as nicotine and contraceptive patches. I admit, the cheap in me had me thinking even further because it is not uncommon to pay $10, $20 and even $30 for an ounce or two of nutrient rich chemical free concoctions. And yet, here we are in the high desert where my skin threatens to become as parched as the clay underfoot. I needed something, preferably something neither deadly nor likely to cause me to take out a second mortgage.

The explosion of internet sales and soapmaking has opened new doors which previously had been closed. One can find anhydrous lanolin, beeswax, or glycerin (glycerin binds moisture from the air and holds it on the surface of the skin) with a few clicks of the mouse. I pulled the books out once more and began to experiment. Surprisingly Walmart proved to be a good resource. In the pharmacy I found witch hazel, glycerin and castor oil, ingredients in many recipes, for next to nothing. In the baking aisle they carry olive oil and coconut oil (plain- for $2/lb). Borax can be found in the laundry aisle. Encapsulated vitamins can be popped and added to the mixtures. Armed with those items many of the recipes could be easily assembled.

A few tips from the author:

Avoid soap. It is drying. Instead use cleansing creams – even something as simple as Crisco. Otherwise plain glycerin soap bar works well. An oat and yogurt mixture makes a gentle cleanser.

An abrasive substance such as ground oats, ground almonds, or even salt makes an excellent exfoliator.

Fruit acid peels? Try papaya. Fresh sliced papaya acts on the surface of the skin to remove dead skin cells.

Don’t use powdered cosmetics on aging skin. Any dry cosmetic like face powder, eye shadow etc will collect in tiny creases and make them more noticeable. Use a cream base.

Keep a ‘crinkle stick’ to refresh midday. Dab it near the eyes and mouth for an instant facelift. Younger or more oily complexions benefit from a misting of mineral water midday. Way better than more cosmetics.

The daily routine? Cleanse, tone, moisturize AM and PM. Scrub with abrasives weekly. Apply a facial or steam monthly.

It is also good to remember that good skin starts with dinner. You are what you eat. Getting adequate essential fatty acids is recommended to help your body regulate its own production. Imbalances can apparently present themselves as either under or overactive glands. Antioxidants applied to the surface are not as helpful as those digested. Consuming (mercury free!) fish, leafy greens and berries is more desirable. Diets heavy on transfats and low or nofat diets are detrimental to your complexion. Protein speeds cell repair.

Some recipes:

Simple Cleanser
grind oats finely
add plain yogurt to make a paste and soften the oats
keep in fridge.
You know how soothing oats are for Chicken Pox. Same concept. The addition of honey is suggested as well.

Cocoa Butter Cleansing Cream
1oz cocoa butter
1oz safflower oil
1oz almond oil
1oz rose water
1T beeswax
1/8tsp borax

melt wax, melt oils separately and drizzle into the wax beating constantly. Warm and mix borax and rose water and add to mixture. Beat til creamy and cool. makes 3oz. Refrigerate.

Toners:
witch hazel is the major ingredient in all of them and can be used alone or dilute with water. Oily formulas add alcohol. Drier complexions may like the addition of glycerin. This one is for normal skin-

Glycerin Rose Water Toner
4oz rose water
1oz glycerin
1oz witch hazel

Coconut Vitamin Protection Cream
1oz coconut extract
4T coconut oil
1/2 tsp Vit A and D oil (pierce capsules and add til you get the right amt)
2tsp cocoa butter
2tsp soy oil (I would use olive)
2 and 1/2tsp anhydrous lanolin
1/4 tsp borax (found mixed reviews about borax online)
1/2tsp liquid lecithin

<e;t lanolin over low heat. Warm other oils and beat into the lanolin. Dissolve borax and beat all together for 3min. Makes over 4oz.

If you can’t locate some of the ingredients I have found that mixing relatively inexpensive vegetable oils like coconut, olive, and safflower and adding the vitamins makes a very good moisturizer. Work a fine layer into the skin then rinse with very cold water to set. Pat dry with towel.

Liquid lecithin or beeswax are added to keep the mixtures suspended so as to prevent separation and give it some body. This is what we pay for at the store. It is like the natural peanut butter however. It is a really small thing to shake it up before use. Ditto the need for refrigeration of the more perishable recipes such as those with dairy products, honey etc. That makes it less convenient certainly, but then again it avoids the need for heavy duty preservatives.

One more – For an all over treat try making your own salt glow scrubs.

Okey doke. Enough fun for one day. : ) Better get a move on.

Ma Ingalls had girls

Posted on by

Best as I can figure it that is why Laura relates stories of red flannel jammies and knit mittens and not say, partially completed mitten with needles that come up missing having been employed as masts for bathtub ships. Or flannel jammie pattern pieces which morph into pirate scarves.

I will say our kids are delightful. They spend their days reading widely, running outdoors, playing music that takes your breath away. They leave endearing little notes to each other and to us. We have thought provoking discussions about politics, art, and theology. And Alice Cooper. But that’s another post. Indeed our days pass in relative bliss. Most of the time. That cooperative, undeniably awesome behavior is punctuated by the occasional incident so mind-numbingly stupid you wonder who spawned these creatures. We were visited by one of those on Saturday.

I woke up early and decided to tackle piecing Tess’ quilt. You remember don’t you? That would be the quilt the girls and I began for her before she was born? ; ) You weren’t holding your breath for those pics were you? (I move slowly with nonessential tasks) Anyway, I got the top pieced and the back and batting cut and pinned. I worked cautiously since my solitary goal was to have all my seams and corners in alignment. And so they were! Sandwiching all the layers evenly proved to be a challenge but we got there.

Brendan had joined me towards the end of that process. I moved between the dining room table and the kitchen getting him drinks and a diaper. I know what you are thinking but I kept zealous guard over that scissors. It never left my hands because well, I have a lot of boys. I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday. No sir-ee. I was alert to the danger all around me. Or so I thought.

As the kids and their father trickled in for breakfast I happened to catch a glimpse of the quilt on the dining room table. GASP! Like imagine choking, sobbing, what in the name of all that is good were they thinkin?? GASP. One whole edge was shredded. While I peeled myself off the ceiling Dad turned to the kids. Brendan quickly solved the mystery for us. The up side was, somewhere in the recesses of the house, he had found the good pair of missing titanium sewing scissors and they were still sharp. The down side obviously being, he had found the good pair of missing titanium sewing scissors and, choke, they are still sharp. : (

I saw Genevieve quote Lissa Wiley today about patience and how some days that means holding on until this moment passes and is replaced by a nicer one. That is what I did. Took a shower. Lots of deep breaths. Tried to remember all the cute things he has ever done. Tried to remember I don’t get to take that quilt with me when I leave here anyway. Its just stuff. Today I work on disassembling the stitching and replacing the damaged blocks. It’s ok.

Just be careful what you pray for. God always answers prayers for increased patience with abundant opportunities to grow in that virtue!

And here it is

Posted on by

Good Friday has arrived. I find myself with very little to say. Random musing. Scattered thoughts. A few moments of surfing bring a smile to my face this morning. I see the Brocante Home has just snatched up the Christmas mat so my guilt eases.

We have no pecans for Resurrection Cookies nor a working oven in which to bake them. Truth be told I chafe against most “projects” though occasionally pangs of guilt best me. I printed off paper crafts yesterday for antsy funschoolers but then spent some hours of unrest over the very idea of “toilet paper Jesus“. Did we really make a Jesus from a toilet paper tube? Does that offend you as well? Ugh. No more.

Today we will spend noon til three in as much silence as ten people can muster. (yes all my chicks are in the nest today!) Later we will likely copy off the vintage bluebirds from the new Life Beautiful magazine and adorn the dining room which will greet the dear friends who will join us on Sunday. I will look around the house and think of ways to sweep out the winter and bring in the spring like Anne’s changing of the quilts. Perhaps some Easter lilies? Tulips?

There will be no more toilet paper Jesus’ however, and I do not feel badly about the absence of projects. Our faith is not measured by our production of crafts. We have not made Ukrainian eggs but we have washed many little feet this week. We will not do much baking due to said oven but we will spend the weekend as a family which is a rarer treat and much more filling in all the ways we yearn to be filled. Things are rarely what we hope them to be but always exactly what we need.

So there you have it. Random nothings as promised. I wish you a blessed close to your Holy Week and a marvelous beginning of the new season. God bless!

Issue3vol1large

Starches, grains, and other bugaboos

Posted on by

Dee asked me to share some low and no starch menus. There are increasing numbers of sites for families who are gluten or grain free due to celiac disease, autism, IBS, certain types of arthritis etc. Surfing for low carb, grain free, or SCD diet recipes brings up a ton of information. You don’t need to be low carb to be grain free however. The addition of dairy and fruit makes for a very adequate carb count. I thought I would start off with some good links:

Maureen’s List is great. Check the blog archives for excellent grain free recipes. I am going to try her roast chicken technique. Going to track down some of that coconut flour!

Going Against the Grain explains some grain related woes and gives suggestions for avoiding them. There is an online exerpt that includes some menus and recipes.

Grain Free Gourmet uses almond flour to adapt traditional recipes to a grain free diet. Samples here.

Oodles of recipes here.

Typical no-starch menus.

This morning I had:

Almond flour pancakes (very light)
homemade breakfast sausage
orange slices
milk

Check out Dee’s grainfree breakfast here.

Spring has sprung

Posted on by

You know how I know this? Not by looking outside, since we are covered in snow. No, I know we can mark this annual milestone because…. the nativity set is packed away again. Yep. This is one surefire way to make your house say “Springtime”. Get those Christmas decorations put away.

We are Catholic so we have some wiggle room. We can easily leave them up til the Epiphany. Some would say we could go the whole Christmas season through January. But, March? No way. Even I know that’s pushing it.
In my defense the decorations were boxed. They were boxed except for that aforementioned nativity set at any rate. They were boxed and waiting patiently on the covered porch for someone’s conscience to shame him or her into hauling them to the shed.

I was on a roll and headed in that direction many weeks ago when I realized I had tossed the tree box. Never do that. (that would be tip #2) You might not realize your grave and irreversible error until you return from the home improvement store with the largest plastic container they sell and size it up to those tree parts. I swear I heard my tree chuckle. Turns out you must purchase – and online only it seems – a ginormous tree bag. In your spare time. Geesh. So long story short – a short job dragged on and on but alas we are packed up for another year.

It occurred to me as this job morphed into a complicated enterprise that there was some merit to the perishable decorations of our forefathers. An article I read early in the season (the Christmas season that is) mentioned that most colonial and pioneer Christmas decorations were made of local greenery and natural items readily available like straw, fruit, nuts etc. They were recycled to birds and burned as fuel in their fireplace and thus – drumroll please – they did not store any of them from year to year.

That last line hit me like a ton of bricks. Peter Walsh was echoing in my head. It is causing me to rethink ‘easier’ and ‘more economical’ and what exactly fits both bills. My hunch is that storing multiple large boxes from year to year and saddling myself with packing/unpacking/moving/carrying/storing chores doesn’t. So while it is not Christmas and in fact Easter is knocking upon the door as I type, I am thinking about November and how we want to live in general. What makes for a festive atmosphere in any season? Not a grumpy overtaxed mom. That much is certain. Not an overtaxed budget. Not an overstuffed storage shed.

As Holy week unfolds I am focusing on projects that are precious and natural and yes, shortlived. Perhaps the fragile, transitory nature of these things is part of their appeal. Perhaps we will blow some eggs for an egg tree. We now have plenty of downed branches to employ. Perhaps we will make a braided Easter bread or Resurrection cookies. Maybe we won’t. But, mark my words, we will not be storing a whole lot. I am turning over a new leaf. A biodegradable leaf.

Virtual Open House

Posted on by

Who doesn’t love an open house? How much more fun when the home in question belongs to SouleMama? I found an absolutely gorgeous blog which just recently hosted an online open house with author/artist Amanda Soule. Do visit the rest of the Bloesem Kids site. Eye candy galore. I love, love, love the simple beauty and clean lines. yes, it’s a theme here isn’t it? The left side bar alone could get me into a good mess of trouble.

But, back to the open house. The home’s owner has written a book called The Creative Family which I am tempted to buy because if nothing else I am a sucker for excellent photography. You can find more of the same at her SouleMama blog.

And now I really must scoot. You have a wonderful Sunday! : )