County Kerry, Ireland

My husband and I had a brief but extraordinary trip to Ireland this past week.  It was a rare, early anniversary getaway alone – so rare we can't quite remember having gotten away completely alone before since usually alone means we only have one or two children with us. : ) 

room
We first checked into the historic Lake Hotel in Killarney, which was a sight to behold all by itself.   (view from balcony)

 lake hotel
What followed was a whirlwind journey through a couple hundred miles of coastal Western Ireland. 

coastal farm
farm walls
We trekked up mountainsides dotted with farmhouses surrounded by a patchwork of pastures separated by ancient stone walls.

ruin farm
 farm fence
We ventured down into hidden bays. 

st finian's bay

 skelligs

Portmagee
Portmagee harbor
and colorful streets of local fishing villages. 

houses

We wrapped up with a drive through Killarney National Park just before dark.

killarney natl park
Far too soon we were winging our way back to Germany.  It is almost surreal to think of where we were.  We are already plotting our return.  If there was any way to stay forever, I would find it.  Even taking into consideration my lifelong devotion to our Irish heritage this is an amazing place, full of warm, smiling faces. We talked to more people we didn't know in those few days than perhaps in all the months we have been in Germany. I felt so incredibly relaxed and at home. 

I will resize and upload a few more pics before the wknd is over. 

the only way out is through

Becca: Does it ever go away? 
Nat:  No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't – has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though. 
Becca: How? 
Nat:   I don't know… the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and… carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you… you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and – there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be awful – not all the time. It's kinda… 

Nat:  …not that you'd like it exactly, but it's what you've got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh… it doesn't go away. Which is…

Becca: Which is what? 

Nat:   Fine, actually. 

Some thoughts about grief from the movie Rabbit Hole, applicable to many traumas.  

 

summer so far

It's summer which means we are at the park – a different park every week and sometimes more than that.  We've been gone someplace pretty much daily which is out of character for me. But, this is why we came here and we are determined to see all we can. 

 cake
A stellar park day was shared with two families who welcomed us warmly last year and have been steadfast since.  One of their little boys had a dinosaur themed birthday party at a phenomenal German park which features life sized dinosaurs placed throughout the woods and fields and playgrounds and streams.  Did I mention the streams?  Because they were a big hit. Big. 

 brendan

bee
 The little girls of our family are now the babies of the group making the previous two "little girls" of the bunch feel much, much bigger.  They embraced their new roles introducing Abbie and Tess to the grounds and making sure no one was left behind. Not even for a moment. 

May
 The boys?  Well, we caught a few glimpses of them.  Mostly like this:

 boys

They played an Amazing Race game, speeding from one part of the park to another to complete their challenges.  

May
 We did catch them all together once they got hungry though.  When they ran off again I got some pictures of these lovely young women, beautiful inside and out. 

sarah

sarah

sarah
hannah

hannah
  hannah

 alannah
 Alannah adores these girls.  We were talking  afterwards and she said, "You know, they are just always happy.  And, they never talk about anyone."  We decided there is probably a definite connection between those two points. : ) It is a beautiful – and rare – thing to find friends with whom your heart is safe.  She is learning that now and appreciating it when she finds it. 

 bw
 And so am I.  So while my house is a little worse for wear some days I can't imagine a better way to spend a summer.

Just Being Sure

Mary had always been good.  Sometimes she had been so good Laura could hardly bear it. But now she seemed different. Once Laura asked her about it. 

"You used to try all the time to be good," Laura said. "And you always were good. It made me so mad sometimes I wanted to slap you. But now you are good without even trying."

"I know why you wanted to slap me," Mary said. "It was because I was showing off. I wasn't really wanting to be good.  I was showing off to myself, what a good little girl I was and being vain and proud and deserved to be slapped for it… We are all so desperately wicked and inclined to evil as the sparks fly upwards" said Mary using the bible words. "But that doesn't matter."

"What!" cried Laura.

"I mean I don't believe we ought to think so much about ourselves, about whether we are bad or good." Mary explained….  "I don't know how to say what I mean very well. But it isn't so much thinking as, as just knowing. Just being sure of the goodness of God." 

Everyone knows that God is good. But it seemed to Laura then that Mary must be sure of it in a special way.   "You are sure aren't you?" Laura said. 

"I am sure of it now all the time." Mary answered.

from Little Town on the Prairie

scenes below from another prairie in eastern France

 windmill
village window
cows