As the first day of school approaches – sometimes the very first day of school for little people – conversations naturally turn towards all things academic. Math, grammar, phonics. Chronological history. Hands-on science. Latin vocabulary.
Worry, worry, worry.
Usually more conversation reveals the root of those fears and that is often, "What if we can't make them do it? What if they won't listen? What if we can't work together? They don't listen to me." These fears strike deep into a Mom's heart, whether her children are learning at home primarily or away at school during the day. Moms know this is a team effort, either way, and cooperation is crucial. Few things strike at our morale as deeply as the inability to work well together.
As we prepare for the coming year we are laying the foundation carefully. There will be textbooks arriving soon, pencils and notebooks stocked, and complete lesson plans will be in hand that first day. The success of our school year doesn't really lie there however. For that reason, the first thing I have done is to print off John Bosco's Preventative System and his wise, gentle letters exhorting educator's to enter into their children's lives, into their childish hopes and dreams and fears. He knew that if we secured their hearts there is nothing we can't achieve together. Success lies there. It's a heart issue.
The sainted author focuses on preventing problems by kindness, modeling desired behavior, and close supervision. We are warned against demanding responses we are not demonstrating ourselves. "Master your own character," he says, "and then you will succeed in mastering those of your pupils." Be what you want them to be, in other words. It is that simple. It is that challenging. It is the only way.
He reminds us of the importance of movement, allowing children, "full liberty to jump, run and make as much noise as they please. Gymnastics, music, theatricals, and outings," are encouraged for discipline and health. More than that, we are urged to join in those activities with the children. We are to remember that a word "whispered in recreation" is often planted deeper in the heart than many words heard in lecture.
The focus is on discipling vs disciplining, being proactive vs reactive, however he does address the proper way to handle correction. We are to correct privately, only once the child is calmer, so as to speak to the source of the behavior and avoid humiliation which is more likely to reinforce bitterness and acting out. We are to be mindful of our tone of voice and our motives. Are we more concerned about true amendment or venting our anger?
He also advises us to be patient. "Charity is the cure-all though it may be slow in affecting its cure." I can tell you firsthand that it can be awfully difficult to remain patient and trust that gentle guildance works, especially while a child persists in running headlong into trouble. There is not a more effective alternative, however.
I can't encourage you enough, whether your children will be meeting the bus soon or gathering around the kitchen table, to take some time to read more about gentle leadership. Relaxed education has so much more to do with quieting our insides than in curriculum selection.
Don Bosco's Exhortation to Educators here
How a Saint Corrected Children here
Reflections on the Preventative system here
My teaching inspiration there to remind me every morning. : )
Starry Sky Journal 