Almost December Daybook

Outside:  The rich autumn reds and oranges we were blessed to enjoy so long have been blanketed with beautiful snow cover all week. We need the moisture and I just plain love the snow.  Then again I loved the leaves.  It's a beautiful world, period.

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 Around the house: We moved all the furniture and dozens of books from the family room/school room. (hundreds? thousands? millions?  probably not, it just felt that way.)  When we pulled up the carpet we noticed some concrete irregularities and panicked a little.  Ok I panicked a lot.  We have had enough disaster in our residential history to warrant panic.  However the contracter who came out assured us all was well and to carry on.  That we did.  We are now nearly halfway to a new floor.  It is transforming an 80's basement to a clean open farmhouse space.  That might be more in my big picture vision than in actuality at this moment but the promise is there.  The boys are learning so much working on this project. They have painted and cut out vents and trimmed edging.  Real life work.

Note to self: get the leaves and pumpkins rounded up today.  

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Wearing: Snow gear per above.  I need to buy some more waterproof gloves soon.  The first snow always surprises us.  In other wardrobe news we have ordered the girls' dresses for the wedding. I am probably late on the game but working on mine.  An unrelated note – Elizabeth Broadbent wrote this essay about dressing your kids in secondhand clothes which resonated with me.   I heart thrift shops.  

In the kitchen: lots of veggies.  Someone here, who isn't me, had a 'midcentury' physical and is motivated to jump on the veggie train with me. This one was good.  Roasted brussels sprouts and butternut squash and onion.  Toss in pomegranate seeds or craisins afterwards.  

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Listening to:  Christmas music on the piano.  All day.  Every day.  Carols.  It's a wonderful thing though to have a houseful of piano students again.  Their instructor gave them a new Christmas music fun book and Tess especially has been all over it. 

On an unrelated random note,  driving home home last night I was listening to Simon and Garfunkel's America.  In the dark, as the music was playing, I was 16 again, right back in an apartment in Italy listening to that album playing on a turntable and soooo terribly homesick.  Missing a boy with all my heart.  (dear reader, I married him)  So funny how music can transport you not just to a place but to the very emotions that enveloped you at that moment.   Another random note – the song was written in '68.  So basically it's almost as old as I am, which doesn't feel as old as it sounds when I say it.  Not at all. 

Creating: We are busy making Christmas gifts.  Trying to aim low and finish a few.  The guys packed up the sewing machine and many of the craft supplies so we are working with a limited cache of tools at the moment.  Abbie was given a bracelet making kit for her birthday.  Her big sister helped the girls make a ton of them over the weekend.  

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Abbie's bells and whistles party didn't materialize.  Because, life.  We decided to make a gingerbread house together instead.  

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Reading:  My time has not been my own lately.  Every time it seemed as though moments were going to open up to grab my book they have been taken up with other work.  However we finished a huge chunk of our fall reading list and are happily diving into advent and Christmas books. (see right sidebar)  Today we will at least begin 24 Days Before Christmas.  This was our first introduction to Madeleine L'Engle and the Austin family.  In this slim volume we follow the family's gentle approach to holiday preparation.  Each day Mrs. Austin puts up a little bit of cheer, usually homemade.  Some foil ornaments.  A door wreath.  A batch of cookies.  Without even realizing it you fall into step with her as the days draw nearer.  I am so looking forward to sharing it with the youngest of our family and hope this will help to set the pace for our own advent.  

Coincidentally, a friend shared this short essay on L'Engle this week.  She captures the purpose and role that art plays so well, 

"To try to talk about art and about Christianity is for me one and the same thing, and it means attempting to share the meaning of my life, what gives it, for me, its tragedy and its glory."

 

thankful

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The days leading up to Thanksgiving were all over the map. We knew we wouldn't have everyone here. That didn't really bother me since that's more the norm these past years than not.  It didn't bother me that much anyway.  Not right at first.  As the day approached that began to change. 

We had begun an ambitious reflooring project and my husband took days off work to finish before Thanksgiving.  Once the carpet came up however we decided we should have a contractor assess the concrete before we moved on.  That meant finishing before the holiday was no longer ambitious, it was impossible. Meantime the entire schoolroom and family room were disassembled and packed tightly in other rooms. 

The day before Thanksgiving we were reading from our autumn reading list and doing some cooking ahead.  My husband had cancelled his working vacation days and we were just focusing on a nice, if cozy, weekend.  The phone rang with an unknown number.  Since one daughter was traveling I answered.  It was the social worker who handled my mother's hospice case. I am sure he was just closing out his files before the long weekend but man.  That was really rotten timing.  Grief is like that I think.  You coast along and then something will bring you right back to that place again. 

I struggled a bit to get my bearings again afterwards.  There was a deep rumble in the sky outside and snow began to fall.  I left the kitchen prep for morning and called it a night. That was an excellent idea.  Years ago an older mom advised me to try hard not to think about any big difficult things at the end of the day.  No matter what it is, she said, it will always look worst then.  Somehow in the morning it will go better.  

She was right. She has always been right about that. The sun rose in a bright blue sky and shone down on fresh fallen snow. Our daughter and fiance texted that they made their flight fine and were on their way.  The tension from the previous weeks lifted and all I cared about was sitting around our table with as many of our kids as we were blessed to have with us.  

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Before you knew it there they were, squeezed on the couch with their faraway sister again. 

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The over here sister got up early and made pies. 

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From their spot near the window the little girls noticed deer across the street

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This year's favorite was the cinnamon roll apple pie fwiw. 

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A wonderful new friend was able to join us for dinner.  We skyped with the Colorado kids who were making their first Thanksgiving dinner together. We played with silly snapchat apps and then stayed up watching You've Got Mail.  Because Meg Ryan and children's books and daisies, right?  The verdict came in.  The floor is sound and we can press on with the project.  Huge blessing.

Not all the news that comes across my desk or through my phone is good, some of it tries to worry the joy right out of me. Most of that will never make these pages.  Still there is always an awful lot to be thankful for and so much of that is looking back at me across the table.  

 

farm to table

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Things have come together for my husband after some weeks of research. He had been looking for sources of local, preferably grass-fed meat for our family as well as a new (to us) freezer. After calling too late for a few listings we were able to pick up a freezer from a very nice older couple who no longer needed it.  Then we drove down to the farm to pick up our orders. 

We were able to visit some of the heritage cattle they breed.  They had a smattering of dairy and beef animals on the property. I had never seen the corriente cattle they are raising. 

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Longtime readers will know how this brought back so many memories. I started telling this story of our life on a similar open sky prairie a decade ago. It is a little weird being on the other side of the fence – the urban visitor picking up orders and showing the kids the animals.  I'm at peace though, knowing we are where we are supposed to be right now.  I feel grateful to be able to partner with people who are working hard making a life and a living off the land and blessing others with the fruit of their labor.  

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eight

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Eight trips 'round the sun and a few trips partway around this big globe we walk on. Five houses she has called home, as well as many short term rentals.  Her feet have splashed in the ocean and stood on mountains. She has danced into the night at her brother's wedding and buried her grandmother and nestled her head into the curly coat of her puppy.  She's had more life than people many times her age.  She approaches it all with this air of serenity – curious, observant, fearless. 

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Happy blessed birthday.

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Reading and thinking this fall

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It's been a while since I have done a share of what we are reading and watching so I am officially typing out my notes right now.  

I have begun the third and last volume of Kristin Lavransdatter.  There are days I don't know if my heart will make it through this journey.  It made me feel better to hear that this is a perfectly appropriate response to Kristin.  This reading guide nails the experience and gives some good suggestions for further reading.  We are rabbit trailing into Scandanavian lit in general since my head is firmly in Norway.  D'aulaire's Norse Myths (which the girls say is "a little creepy" what with six headed jotuns springing to life out of a guy's armpit and all.) is underway.  We have read from Undset's True and Untrue. The forward about the folk/fairy tale genre is excellent for high schooler's to read through.  

Several houses in our area are decked out for Christmas already.  Over here we are in full Thanksgiving mode. We will not be rushed. Put away those candy canes.   I have not even eaten my first pumpkin pie of the season.  But since I know we all need to start ordering or reserving advent and Christmas titles I have brought the booklists back to the sidebar along with what we have read through so far this fall.

And art?  So much art going on.  If you are looking for autumn and winter art lessons there are enough projects here to keep us painting and creating for weeks.  Months really.  We are trying to do just that. This is not a seasonal project but one Tess finished this month.  Not an original design but sketched out by hand from a print she admired. 

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I found this story on the Kindex feed the other day.  It's a fascinating story of a man who was a bit of an enigma even to his own family.  After his death they found these.  There.  That was my shot at a click bait entry.  Did it work?  Tell me you clicked because it's actually a great story.  

Another notebook story.  This one was from a 21yo WWII soldier who kept a sketchbook with notes.  Soldiers have been on my mind all week since we went to see Hacksaw Ridge.  Or rather my husband saw Hacksaw Ridge.  I saw a good deal of his shoulder.  It was a an incredible story but exceptionally realistic special effects. My friend Teri shared a story about her uncle who was buried under his fallen comrades in WWII shortly after we went on the movie date.  Then came the news about the green berets and the Bagram attack.  So long way of saying this was a unique insight into a soldier's mind and heart and I have been thinking about both.  

My friend Theresa shared a story about a fluke exchange she had while playing a game online. Makes you think. Here. 

More upbeat, this project amazed me.  A photographer tracked down people he took pictures of on British streets in the 80's and recreated those images with them today.  So cool.  

That's all for now.  More to follow!

Fall from the sidelines

Telling stories out of order again.  It's a weakness of mine. We have now wrapped up football but up until the last two weeks this is usually where we were at the end of a week.  Looking at the pictures brings it all back so vividly for me.  The cheerleaders' chants, the shouting from the stands, our girls hanging out on the sidelines, reading and talking and people watching. Though I am glad to catch our breath now and move on to new projects it was a wonderful way to spend our autumn afternoons.  

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The boys really loved having their big brother drive over the mountain for a few days to see them play and get in on the armchair quarterback action. 

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I'm serious.  The men in this family are at the ready to advise referees, analyze plays, and debate technique.  

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Toldja.

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Piano Tiles, Grimms tales, and 50 Famous Stories have been standby's if you are wondering.  (and sometimes people ask about my phone case here.  I heart you England.) 

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They played hard. One got as far as the semifinals.  Now we are preparing for the end of season banquets and it will be all wrapped up for 2016. It's been a good run.

gratitude

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My street is lined with flags planted by the boy scouts in the early morning hours today honoring those who have served our nation.  Some of them hold a special place in my affections.  Looking at these snapshots leaves me flooded with emotion. So many bits and pieces.  

My grandfather served in the US Army stateside in the second world war. My grandmother joined him for a time in California where they shared a three bedroom apartment with two other military couples.  

Think about that. 

He told the stories about escorting Desi Arnaz around post for the rest of his life.  He is shown with Gram, above, and his mother, a Slovenian immigrant, below.

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My father-in-law enlisted in the USAF in the '60s. My husband was born on base in Verdun, France while he served there. 

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Pictured below is my mother-in-law's wonderful, quiet husband who experienced the trauma that was Vietnam.  

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A liberal pacifist young girl (me) married this handsome airman

(below)  in the 80's.  I did not go gently into the military world but rather was rebellious and argumentative much of the way.  Much.  I came to understand, respect, and revere the men and women he served with and their positions which had little or nothing to do with whomever currently held office, nor certainly for any love of war. 

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Sometimes he served at home.  Sometimes we held down the domestic fort while he served in Korea or Cuba or Saudi Arabia or Iraq.  Sometimes he was here to rock babies every night.  Sometimes he had to reintroduce himself to his babies and start fresh.  

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One of those babies grew up to wear his own uniform.  He is reaching the end of his current tour in Europe after serving in Korea and California.  He will finish his degree with the GI Bill he has earned being far from home for many, many years. 

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There are stories behind every uniform.  Good stories.  Heartbreaking stories.  I love hearing them no matter where I might run across them.  Just days ago we found ourselves standing in an aisle at Walmart chatting with a 91yo gentleman.  He asked the children if they liked math.  Admittedly there was not an enthusiastic response.  He went on to tell them it was like playing piano. The more you practice the better it gets.  How nothing is more rewarding than dedication to hard things.  

He explained he was an engineer for nearly 60yrs. He had served in Korea and been sent to Singapore.  He returned and devoted himself to science and technology.  He had a full life which he credited to hard work and perseverance.  And he shared his story with us in the Walmart aisle because these things are important.  

I am grateful today for that legacy of quiet service. 

Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.   – Ronald Reagan

of cakes and company during election week

Nov 2016 cake web  (1 of 2)

It has been a full week, even removing the election from the mix.  Saturday was a work day in house and yard, at least after one midday soccer game.  LOTS of weeding and leaf bagging and cleaning.  We had overnight guests on Sunday which was wonderful.  So good to visit even for a short time and I love a full house.  The kids helped set up bedrooms and we made a big vat of chili to serve with baked potatoes after church. 

Monday and Tuesday were challenging from start to finish.  My husband was hosting his work unit at our place for their fall morale day on Wednesday. This is our second year so I had a good idea of what we needed to do though our basement remodel has kept things a bit off kilter around the house.  We planned our part of the menu and cleaned as usual.  In the middle of it Monday it seemed to me a good time to empty our clown car pantry and closet and deep clean them.  Why I don't know but they are super tidy now.  

On Tuesday the girls and I headed to the library to vote and return books. Afterwards we went to the thrift store and found some finishing touches for our party tables  - baskets and tablecloths in rich fall plaids.  With what seemed like mounting momentum we headed to Walmart to make a return and buy the rest of the party supplies and ingredients.  

I was feeling ON TOP of my game at that point.  Like, oozing good citizenship and hospitality prep.  However right there in the craft aisle getting some raffia to tie onto a vase I noticed my vision going.  As in away.  Migraine aura was starting.  Not good not good not good.  Not at Walmart where there is no escape from flourescent lighting and no one with a drivers license with me.  I've had enough of these to know how long we had before the aura passed and the pain hit.  Probably a half hour for the one and up to an hour for the other.  So I soldiered on.  Tess read my list and we managed to load the cart between us.  Fortunately most of mankind was out voting so we at least had a near empty store.  When all was clear we headed home and the boys unloaded.  I went to bed.  

Fortunately the pain was not debilitating and prep could resume a few hours later.  By then election anticipation was reaching a fevered pitch.  The rest of the house was glued to the set. (Do we still say 'set?' That's TV anyway.)  I was rather detached from the whole thing, probably due to the sorta surreal post-migraine haze.  I hit the kitchen to begin the first of the two cakes we intended to make, which was the original point of the post.

 Oh how I do ramble. It's worse in person where you can't click away. 

Nov 2016 cake web  (2 of 2)

So cake one was a Pumpkin cream cheese bundt.  I was very pleased with this one though it did take a while. And we misplaced the pastry bag when we cleaned the pantry so the topping is…. like it is.   My election guys shuffled back and forth updating me.  When the cake and cleanup was done it was after 11pm and still no verdict.  Knowing the day we had ahead of us it didn't seem as though agonizing all night would be a good idea so I went to bed.  Even shut the door.  Done. 

I must have been pretty darn done because I woke up having slept straight through and reached for the phone in the morning to see what had happened.  And then?  I got dressed, tied on an apron and made another cake because my job description was not one of those that had changed overnight.  In times of upheaval some of the most constructive things a person can do are the everyday familiar things we always do – plunge our hands into soapy water, mix up batter, run a mop, set a timer, arrange a vase of flowers, light some candles. Those are the things I did.

And made a Cider Cake with Butterscotch Bourbon Glaze, which I realized too late was not the pinned recipe I intended to make, but was already committed.   Not that it wasn't good.  By all accounts it was.  Either it was post migraine haze or the recipe was really confusing.  There were measures of sugar divided, but then only one direction for sugar usage.  Or mention of 'add remaining' such and such but we hadn't used any of that item prior.  Being NOT the world's most gifted baker I read and reread to catch my error and couldn't tell you now where it lies – recipe or me.  (odds are on me)  Someone make the darned cake and either set me straight or validate my confusion if you will. Long story shorter, it was an intellectual challenge of sorts which I enjoyed.  Employed some new skills and techniques and would likely have been perfect if I had set my oven properly and not to convection.  Because I do things like this.  

Just want to pause to add here that when my ballot was filled out I was, in fact, completely coherent lol.  I vote better than I bake.  

Anyway, the world continues to spin loudly and sometimes precariously outside these walls. Over here we have baked and scoured the junk shop and read books and opened our doors to over three dozen people of all different walks of life this week.  It's been wonderful.  As my friend MacBeth says, "Humans are very nice close up." Our home has been one of the best places for us to love and serve them. I feel very fortunate to have been able to spread a little warm and happy in what has sometimes been a very not that season.