When God Tarries

Posted on March 31, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Two exerpts from my reading found their way into my journal today. The first was from the gospel reading of the resurrection of Lazarus. We get a glimpse of Jesus' deliberate pause in the face of urgent prayers for rescue. The story also provides valuable insight to the mind of God:

"Now, Jesus loved Martha, and her sister Mary, and Lazarus. When He had heard therefore that he was sick, He still remained in the same place two days."

The evangelist makes certain we understand that it was no lack of affection, no ignoring of the pleas. Jesus knew. He cared. He cared so deeply that upon seeing Mary's distress "He groaned," from His heart and wept with her. It wasn't indifference that caused Him to tarry. It was love. He loved them therefore He still remained.

The two sisters once more have different responses to their circumstances, as we all do at different times and places. Martha has resigned herself to the will of God and presumed He willed her brother's death. Mary cries out to God in frustration for not coming sooner when He could have helped. Both of them have great faith yet, both miss the mark a bit. There was a plan but they misinterpreted what that was and when/how it should have unfolded - as we all do at different times and places.

Patience. We tend to think of it as a passive, helpless stance on our part. Reverend O'Reilly explains it differently especially when it concerns God's delay in answering our prayers for those dear to us. The hard cases. It may be a wayward child, a spouse, a close friend. He tells us to be patient:

"Not only when you are suffering from aching limbs and heart, but WHEN YOU DO NOT SUCCEED in making your dear ones all that you would wish. There are certain dispositions and characters which seem naturally to defy all control or teaching or improvement. They will learn more than you think, much more than you can see, by your lessons and especially by your example.

Even should a son or daughter of yours turn out to be everything but what you trained them to be, the memory of their gentle, patient, loving mother will remain in their souls to their dying day, like a silent voice from the past bidding them to return to God and the paths of their childhood."

Sometimes the answer to our prayers is: Hold Fast. God does not always act within our preferred timetable but He is always active in response to our needs. He will not ignore our pleas, but He may well tarry, even long past the time any natural solution seems possible – because of love. He may choose us to demonstrate steadfastness and patient intercession, to be the face of Christ to those who hold such a dear place in our hearts.

If your momma heart is breaking, or your prayers seem to fall on deaf ears, take courage. You may never know what impact your faithfulness has this side of heaven, but be assured it is tremendous.

Noticing

Posted on March 31, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Learning All the Time

Posted on March 28, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Life has been moving along at a quiet hum, reasonably steady but at a swift pace. I enrolled in an ambitious course for myself this spring which has impacted our schedule and my own peace of mind considerably. It was still a good idea but certainly highlighted the role I play in our home and what happens when hours are diverted from that role on a daily basis. Like any worthwhile project I am glad to have undertaken it, but also looking forward to reestablishing a more restorative rhythm once this initial push is past.

My husband meanwhile has begun a rigorous training program to prepare for his first triathlon. It might seem exceptionally unwise for both of us to commit to challenging exterprises simultaneously but it's actually helped us to be intentional about our time.

We have always divided up home chores but over the past several months have made after dinner clean up a group effort. Assigning the kitchen to the children was a bad idea. It meant waking up to at least a couple pots still soaking or counters half wiped. Truth is, no one enjoys working alone and many jobs were done haphazardly. I took the room back in the end. My husband didnt think that seemed right so he rolled up his sleeves and worked alongside, making sure the older boys were in the kitchen as long as we were. It's not a new idea. My friend Jenny advised many years ago that working WITH the children, even older children, was far more effective than 'assigning' work to them. We find this to be true. It is a huge morale boost to wake up to a tidy kitchen and coffee ready to go.

After dinner cleanup is finished we say the rosary and then some part of the family runs over to the athletic center. The younger children sometimes go along to swim or run or play ball. The olders use the machines or weights. If I have worked out early in the day then I catch some study time. Between warmer weather and the gym there isn't much time or interest in the TV, for any of us. All the better.

It definitely stretches you in all sorts of sometimes uncomfortable ways to move in new directions at the midcentury point in life. I know we are not alone. A good friend has recently reentered the workforce. Others have taken on care of parents. More than a few friends entered college at this stage of life for completely new career paths. Some have relocated and are starting new lives in other communities and new climates. Not gonna lie, brains and bodies sometimes resist thinking and moving in unfamiliar directions, at least initially. There have been tears and a lot of sabotaging self talk:

I'm too old for this.

Perhaps you can't teach old dogs new tricks.

Wasn't I doing just fine and had plenty on my plate already?

Should it be taking THIS long?

One of our son's shot this note to me:

"Fulfillment means embracing and conquering your mental blocks, and constantly stretching the boundaries of your comfort zone. Especially when it's a healthy discomfort that won't harm you, and just frustrates."

He was right. I was way out of my comfort zone and not enjoying myself at all but this is not a harmful pain. It is simply frustrating and in time, with consistent effort, this will pass. At least I am pretty sure it will lol. If not I will die trying and there are far worse ways to go.

New moves are hard y'all. By this point in life it is much more comforting to carry on in the ruts of well worn paths. While listening to a pop singer on the radio however, we were discussing how this artist is still performing many years later. (which is a wonderful thing) The catch was that the performances were all repeats of those early hits. I knew in my heart while we were talking that I don't want to simply revel in our glory days. If God is granting us more healthy years then hopefully we can continue to explore and develop new skills and new ideas. This is how we can experience some springtime in the autumn of life.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
Mathatma Ghandi

A story that encouraged me this week here.

water and brush – moon studies

Posted on March 22, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Years ago there was an article called by Kym Wright (she's so inspiring!) called How a Textbook Mom Does Unit Studies. She described going through the texts and jotting down the topics that will be covered and keeping that list with you for library trips and picking up other relevant projects here and there. Although we have done whole family unit studies in the past, for many years now we have been using Catholic texts as the spine of our curriculum with LOTS of real life and real books filling in. Frankly it is a great deal easier for me to "track" the texts on transcripts without sucking the joy out of the rest of it by documenting it to death. (back story)

Alice Cantrell's moon painting caught my eye on instagram a while back. When one of the girls had a space chapter in their science book we decided to grab some related library books and try our hands. We are not Alice, any of us, yet the girls still really enjoyed picking up the paint with tissue to create variations in the moon's surface and learning the names. They worked independently so their phases are not in order, for any particular types.

In case it was not clear, let me be sure you know we don't elaborate on every topic every child covers and we certainly don't have a messy project every day. We do more of these now that the children are all school aged and above. It's a perk of getting through all the chasing, pooping, and waking all night long years. They were wonderful in other ways and I miss them. Watercolor is a poor substitute for that baby on your lap. So if messy projects make your eyes roll back in your head right now, please scroll quickly and put it out of your mind. You are where you should be and doing exactly what you ought. All is well.

Rabbit trail…..racing pigeons!

Posted on March 18, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

It has warmed up considerably which means the children are rushing back outdoors after dinner to catch the last rays of sunshine before the light is gone for the day. On one of those evenings this week they came back in breathless and told me to look out the window. There on the deck was a beautiful bird not normally seen up here. In fact we mostly see birds of prey and mappies and the occasional blue bird (literally a blue bird that isn't a bluebird. I am a flunky Charlotte Mason homeschooler). Although I am lame at identifying birds on sight I am awesome at grabbing my camera to snap the nameless creatures and send their pictures to Macbeth. And I did.

The bird wasn't the least bit afraid of us, also not aggressive, and spent several minutes resting there amidst kids and dogs. It appeared to be well so we left it alone. It was not until some days later when I was editing the images that I noticed the leg band. That set off our research and the note to Macbeth who suggested perhaps it was a homing pigeon. Eventually found this site explaining how to read a leg band, which birds get banded and where they may be from. We discovered this bird is registered with the AU = AMERICAN RACING PIGEON UNION ORGANIZATION. Searching their site we learned our bird was likely from Pennsylvania. We are still trying to figure out if this is possible.

We read that lost or tired birds usually are looking for water. I wish we had known this earlier. This page explains what you can do if a bird that's lost his way crosses your path. Pigeon trivia here.

Books we have ordered:

Gay-Neck The Story of a Pigeon

The Language of Doves

Fly Cher Ami Fly

Along with whatever non-fiction we can drum up.

Be Amazed

Posted on March 17, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

St Patrick's day arrived with few plans this year. I did sit a while and read his autobiography this morning during my quiet time and have been scribbling down bits of it into my notebook. What especially strikes me this time around is his deep regret over wasted time, idle words, and lost opportunity. With the midcentury mark looming I find myself sharing those regrets. It is an embarassment of riches, these many years I've been given, and yet have I made the most of them? Has my speech been edifying? My hours fruitful? My way steady and focused? And if not, how can those regrets be channeled into new resolve?

He also tells us to be amazed by what God can do with our imperfect efforts:

"So be amazed, all you people great and small who fear God! You well-educated people in authority, listen and examine this carefully. Who was it who called one as foolish as I am from the middle of those who are seen to be wise and experienced in law and powerful in speech and in everything? If I am most looked down upon, yet he inspired me, before others, so that I would faithfully serve the nations with awe and reverence and without blame: the nations to whom the love of Christ brought me. His gift was that I would spend my life, if I were worthy of it, to serving them in truth and with humility to the end."

Somehow this inspires me as a mother and homemaker, without impressive degrees or titles, living a life of relative obscurity. We are chosen from among wiser, more organized, more efficient candidates, to faithfully serve these souls 'to whom the love of Christ has brought' us. Moreover, this service is a gift to us, as much as it is to them. How differently we look at a blessing than a burden.

With him "I pray God that he gives me the gives me perseverance, and that he will deign that I should be a faithful witness for his sake right up to the time of my passing."

A round up of ideas for you from previous years:

random good stuff

trinity shamrocks

Drawing for kids here and here and here

Crafts here and here

Reading and Eating

Posted on March 17, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

A box came in the mail the other day. Someone snatched that up right quick. I won't say they don't like actual toy toys because we have a metropolis of Calico Critters that says otherwise. Still, you can't beat a good supply of completely open-ended raw materials.

A friend has a daughter who is an art therapist today. She was saying that in her inpatient settings oftentimes art is the one area the client has complete decision making control. I hadn't really considered that until that moment. I do know children often are unable to make a lot of decisions for themselves. We take for granted that we present to them the food they will eat and tell them where they will go that day or what to wear that will be most appropriate. Those are not necessarily bad things. But its nice to be able to build in opportunities for safe experiences of autonomy and utter freedom of expression where we can.

They like to make decisions too.

Insta Daybook

Posted on March 7, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Outside: We have had all the weather. Warm, sunny, no coat weather. Windy weather. Now it is getting ready to snow weather. There was a window of time to go walk the dogs to the top of the neighborhood today which was pretty wonderful.

Reading: Mostly in waiting rooms and bleachers and poolside. Current read is this…

Watching: Old monster movie with the girls last night. This was a Saturday night staple in my house when I was their age. Frankenstein, Dracula, King Kong, Godzilla, and Charlie Chan every weekend on our local oldies channel. I was throwback when throwback wasn't cool. I was also a sickly kid and remember being on a hospital ward with pneumonia in my early grade school years. They were open bays at the time and that weekend there weren't many children. The nurse walked in as I was watching my Saturday night monster flick. She abruptly clicked off the toob and said very matter of factly that small children were to be asleep after dark and most definitely NOT frightening the other children with monster movies.

Whatever. My childhood was a little uncoventional let's just say.

Towards health and wellness: pool day!

From the kitchen: Humor…

And Coconut Lime chicken..

This week: Lent came in like a lion. I mean, March too, but holy heck it's been a week. We had a long long LONG awaited visit to the Children's Hospital for a very not emergent nor urgent referral. (we are all good I swear) The last time I was there was 17 years ago when our oldest had major surgery when his dad was away for a military course. As we wound our way up the hill to the campus the emotion took my breath away. Memories may seem to have faded but really they seem to just store away to be pulled up when you least expect them. Like this day.

This day was followed by a routine dental procedure that ended up being scary though it probably shouldn't have, at least it shouldn't have made me squeal out loud, loudly, in that small office. It did though, which led to profuse apologies the likes of which I haven't issued since the last time I was in labor. Which is the last time I think I shrieked over something medical. My Italian friend assured me this completely normal for dental visits in Italy. Alas, it is less normal in Utah where they like their patients quiet and still. See above story about my early medical issues. I'm sticking to this explanation.

Thinking about: It was all this that ran through my head when I saw a photographer on instagram discussing her last minute birthing crisis, the errors her providers made, and how shaken she is remembering it a year later. The comments seemed to repeat a theme of "all's well that ends well" and "all that matters is that you have a beautiful baby." Now it's true that a happy ending is always good news. It could be worse. Everyone is always glad when it isn't. However it is also wrong to suggest the ending is "all that matters" because endings, even good ones, don't erase the trauma that led to them. They provide some compensation and balance. They are welcome relief. Trauma dies hard though and remains part of the story. Acknowledging that is how we process and move forward – grateful but changed. That's my theory anyway.

Up side? Salt Lake City looked beautiful in snow and the skyline was amazing.

comfort will abound

Posted on March 1, 2017 by Kim Halloran-Fry

"I am going to show you a secret to holiness and happiness. For five minutes every day let your imagination be quiet, close your eyes to everything they see, and shut your ears to of all the world’s noise so that you can withdraw into the sanctuary of your baptized soul, the temple of the Holy Ghost. And speak to that Holy Spirit and say to Him:

“Holy Spirit, soul of my soul, I adore Thee. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen and comfort me. Tell me what I ought to do and order me to do it. I promise to submit to anything that Thou requirest from me, and to accept everything that Thou allowest to happen to me. Just show me what Thy will is.”

If you do this your life will be quiet and peaceful, and comfort will abound even in the middle of troubles. For grace will be given to match any stress together with strength to bear it, grace that will take you to the gates of Paradise, full of merit. Such submission to the Holy Spirit is the secret of holiness."

from Fr Jacques Philippe via Finer Feminity

I am trying to sit down daily and transfer all the little scribbles and phone notes I make to myself over here.

Starry Sky Journal

Reflections from Starry Sky Ranch

Monthly Archives: March 2017