"Why do I share this?" 

A dear friend added this line by way of explanation when she had shared her truly lovely January mantle decor. I understand why she may have felt the need to justify sharing it at all.  Many voices over the years have attributed various self-congratulatory motives to those who share online.  For all I know there are cases where those may apply. Certainly that is not true for all artists and authors through time, however.  As I have been gathering and returning some old favorites into my regular rotation lately, I have considered the impact their words and images have had on me and my own motivation for sharing.  

Why do I share? 

I share because the reflections shared by older women inspired me so very much when I was first making a home and raising a family. They were a gentle means of accumulating little bits of art, history, and philosophy in bite-sized bits – which was all I could manage in busy seasons.  Strung together they resulted in an education for which I am eternally grateful in our era of strict, functional practicality.

I share because I have come to believe that beauty is not simply the dessert or worse, the junk food of life. It is vital sustenance which nourishes and builds our strength and vision. We should consider it a foundational building block rather than an indulgence.

I share because the first and most natural response the Magi had upon learning of a young mother with a blessed child was to share their gifts. They went to great lengths to bring beautifully bright, precious, and sacred things, riches full of symbolism and layers of meaning. They were gifts that touched the senses.  We can imagine some then, too, scorned these as impractical and unnecessary.  

We need both Martha and Mary, practicality and vision, to be productive and contemplative. We need feel no guilt over encouraging both and bringing a little ray of light into someone else's day.  As another friend shared, beauty is not like a cake where your large slice diminishes the amount left for others.  It is a candle which can ignite those nearby.  I am so grateful for the women who have shared their gifts so generously and helped me to likewise brighten my own little world. 

It is now, when the world around us is speeding into a frenzy of shopping and parties and plans, that the Church reminds us of the truth about eternity and time.  She puts before us a a wreath shaped in a circle to remind us God has no beginning and no end.  He is forever.  He made time for us and the candles help us to mark off the passing days of preparation intentionally – as we ought to pass all of our days.

As was quoted in an old movie my daughter and I watched this weekend, it is the worst sort of extravagance to waste the chances we are given, assuming another will come along, and another and another.  God is eternal.  Our opportunities are not. Advent is our annual reset opportunity. We turn the calendar of the church back to the beginning, a fresh start.  We begin the new church year focused on Jesus, rebirth, and renewal, a good way to begin each day and each endeavor. 

“…(it is a) puzzling fact that the more time-saving gadgets we invent, the more new buttons to push in order to “save hours of work”–the less time we actually have.

We have no more time to read books; we can only afford digests. We have no time to walk a quarter of a mile; we have to hop into a car. We have no time to make things by hand; we buy them ready made in the five-and-ten or in the supermarket. This atmosphere of “hurry up, let’s go” does not provide the necessary leisure in which to anticipate and celebrate a feast. But as soon as people stop celebrating they really do not live any more–they are being lived, as it were.

The alarming question arises: what is being done with all the time that is constantly being saved? We invent more machines and more gadgets, which will relieve us more and more from the work formerly done by our hands, our feet, our brain, and which will carry us in feverishly increasing speed–where? Perhaps to the moon and other planets, but more probably to our final destruction.

Only the Church throws light onto the gloomy prospects of modern man–Holy Mother Church–for she belongs, herself, to a realm that has its past and present in Time, but its future in the World Without End."

– Maria Von Trapp

It is not a luxury to slow down right when it feels as though we should be moving faster. It is a necessary leisure, without which we will miss the most valuable gifts the season offers. It is not about doing less or being less productive, but about doing things differently with clarity and thoughtfulness.  It is about keeping the why firmly in focus. 

  Today, we will assemble our advent wreath. Simply, slowly, intentionally. It has been a very full holiday weekend and the week promises no respite in that regard. The wreath will anchor our days this month and ensure that at some point in every 24hrs we will come together, light the fire, and breathe deeply.  

Jesus is coming.  We are so blessed.  

Advent wreath explained here

It's our first Thanksgiving in our new home. We are used to new, thankful for home, and we definitely have snow. This year I am the grandmother looking out over the drifted snow to see if a little boy will be able to make his way to Thanksgiving.  We check the weather updates constantly, hoping the roads clear.  Next year, two little girls will join us all and I almost need to pinch myself, that is such a blessing.

As we spent this stormy day at home rushing to finish projects and make things just right before everyone comes together here I remembered a very blustery holiday in Wisconsin as a child.  The wind was blowing and snow falling so heavily my mother made the call that we just could not make it to my grandparents' farm for the family celebration.  I recall that disappointment vividly to this day.  

I tried to think of all the individual components of those days.  Modest best describes everything about my grandmother and her home.  The house was small, without any striking architectural features.  The food was always quite good, though Gram was not an adventurous cook and relied on box mixes which would be met with scorn, no doubt, by many today.  The menu was the same every year and served on Johnson Brothers Friendly Village dinnerware set on a white lace tablecloth with a practical vinyl cover underneath.  We were not a perfect family, but there were perfect days and perfect places.  Thanksgiving, and her home, were that. 

I'm a different grandmother in so many ways, tending more to the elaborate and over the top. (I'm a little 'extra' y'all lol) Decor gets far more of my brain cells than the cooking does, and that is often apparent – for better and for worse.  Food sensitivities demand everything is all natural, which also means nothing is very convenient.  The actual home we celebrate in has changed many, many times.  My reach exceeds my grasp in many areas as a result of all this.  I can't quite seem to settle when it comes to my children and their children.  I want to give them that same joy. 

What will my grandchildren's impressions be? They won't be the same as mine.  The world is different.  We are different.  I like to think tiny hearts always carry a little 'hurrah' for grandmother's house though and feel so very fortunate to now be on this side of the gramma equation, looking at the holidays from the other direction. It is my biggest wish that this little man and all the grandchildren we are blessed with feel something of the same magic that I felt when my grandparents' home came into view. Wherever that house may be, whatever may be on the table, may it all amount to "first rate play."

"As long as I could stay in the light, figuratively speaking, by keeping my focus on what I could control, worry and fear were kept at bay.

That's why I pinned my concentration to the tasks in front of me, not letting myself agonize about the grade of the hill I was pushing our unwieldy ride up, but studying every crack and crevice in the concrete, studying the sounds of the stroller wheels, noticing I could move to that syncopated beat.

Sometimes the effort made me happy, it let me dance when some might have said I had nothing to be happy about." 

Chris Gardner, The Pursuit of Happyness

It is the anniversary of a terrible tragedy in our nation, one which will be played out on screens and broadcasts throughout the day.  This is rightly so, we could argue.  We, adults, should reflect on days like these. We should also be mindful of the impact that these images and words have on the smallest among us.  Listening to young adults who were children when the towers fell retell their impressions of that day has been insightful for me.  Most experienced significant confusion over what had happened and were frightened as much or more by the emotions they saw in the adults nearby as they were by the glimpses caught on screen.  

Kim John Payne of Simplicity Parenting, speaks to the impact that the news, and our discussion of the news, can have on children. (link here) Lacking a fully formed understanding of time and place, "…young children do not really grasp that repeated announcements are about one single event. Each time they hear a news report or overhear an unguarded adult conversation, the risk is that it sets off a brain based 'cascade' of fight-or-flight hormones."

He challenges us to "meet each child in the way he or she needs to be met. Please consider the age of your child and how any of this information may impact him or her….They need our reassurance that most people are good."

Our children will likely be aware, either through direct exposure to media or through classroom or other discussion.  That in itself is unavoidable and not entirely a bad thing.  It is just worth considering how much information they really need to be exposed to and how we can help them process it.  We are their "gatekeepers and protectors."  Today, as in all heavy situations, we are challenged with creating and maintaining their core feelings of safety and optimism, even as we acknowledge that,

“Sometimes – almost never – bad things happen… everyone is very sorry about this…. and there are lots of loving people helping those families now.”