Outside: Snow, sun, snow, sun….lather, rinse, repeat. I am totally good with that. There are boys to shovel and everything has looked crisp and clean and white all winter.
Wearing: Brown velour tiered skirt, tan long sleeved tee, faux fur vest, and boots. That's what I had on as I strode into the dentist office feeling super confident about my ability to pull an outfit together. That feeling lasted much of the morning, pretty much right up til I noticed the little plastic tag thingie hadn't come off the vest with the price tag and was sticking up at the collar. Keeps you humble. ; )
Listening to: I Believe I Can Fly. Overandoverandover. Brendan's fond of his new piano song. We requested a few he could sing along to because….he does. Who knew Space Jam would have such staying power? Six sons, people. A lot of Space Jam has happened here.
Reading: Oh yes. So much. I picked up What Alice Forgot at Costco Friday and binge read for a few days til the last page. I haven't done that in a loooong time but it was worth it. Disclaimer – the characters and plot involve issues or behaviors I would not endorse! However, it was a remarkable exploration of forgiving and forgetting, which is much, much easier than forgiving things while the memory of them still plagues you. It was about whether one is able to extricate oneself from the vortex of emotion and dysfunction and reset a life.
I have thought so much about all the above. The main character gets amnesia and loses memory of the last ten years of her life. Ten years ago? Where was I? Gram was still alive. I hadn't been on a plane for 20 years. My husband was newly retired from the USAF and the little girls were not here yet. Europe hadn't happened. Some of the worst pain of my life was still to come. Some of the most unexpected, unbelievable gifts as well. How do we process all that and more? What have we lost from our younger selves? What have we gained?
So much is perspective. Looking at the same things a different way. On that note, I was also super inspired by this photographer's story. About his disability, the result of a violent crime, he explains that:
"It's one of those things I have to deal with, but also one of those things that made me someone who can see things from a different perspective and even enjoy life, see life and all its wonders – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oftentimes I capture things people miss or overlook day to day, maybe because I am looking for them as part of my joy, feeling like humanity is still good, still vibrant. Tomorrow is a new day…and I am hopeful things are gonna get better…at some point they have to get better. That's just the way I feel. Everything gets better for me. No matter what I am dealing with I know it's gonna get better. That's the kind of thing I try to give to other people."
Somehow, both of those stories came together in my heart this week.
Creating: Easter projects beginning. I am skipping over Valentine's because who am I kidding? It is less than two weeks from now and I will be traveling anyway. That, and stuff takes a lot longer than expected to finish in my world. We have half a chance of completing something by Easter. : )
Thinking about: Progress. Maybe it's 50 looming. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's grace. There is so much on my life learning list and I wish I had it all mastered yesterday. The time it takes to learn new skills has historically passed maddeningly slowly to pass to me. Someone shared this the other day from the founder of Uggs, speaking at a conference. He said the best way for a tadpole to become a frog is to enjoy every day of being a tadpole. Moral being don't rush it. Enjoy the journey. Let progress unfold naturally.
Around the house: We learned to repair drywall after a drain pipe leak. We, being the husband part of the household. We will soon be starting up painting trim again. The little girls have discovered my old Victoria magazines and are enthralled with all things floral and throwback. Since I never stopped being enthralled with those things, and since their older sisters never were quite as enthralled, I couldn't be happier. My friend Teri and I were discussing old houses and new styles and the term "single era decor" stuck out to me. Perhaps that is what is not quite right to me in so many shelter publications today. Best line in the conversation was, "Home is something that develops, not something that is created in a single swoop."
Starry Sky Journal 