"put it into your heart… that the thing that disturbs you, the thing that afflicts you, is nothing. Do not let your countenance, your heart be disturbed. Do not fear this sickness … any other sickness, nor anything that is sharp or hurtful."
– message of The Virgin of Guadalupe
Outside my window:
It is cold and foggy quite often. The last of the leaves are holding on stubbornly here and there but it won't be long now before they are all gone. The bare branches of the tree out back now leave no hiding places for the birds, which is rather nice for me looking out the window.
I am listening to:
Well, lately I am listening to the kids speaking German on Rosetta Stone, the beginnings of Christmas music practice on the piano, and the bible in the car. We have become hooked on audio bibles as a family, which has prompted a lot of discussion and further research in the paper versions. Simple, consistent. My favorite.
Reading:
The Pagent of Life by Owen Frances Dudley. This is part of the series I have been slowly working through with Colin. This was another that began slowly and now has my rapt attention.
From the kitchen:
Marshmallow fondant on deck for Abbie Rose's birthday cake. I am not in charge of that. I am just the Wilton enabler, happily financing the production and cheering from a distance. I was however volunteered by husband to make a ham for the office Thanksgiving shindig this week. (It was ham or turkey we had to choose from) This announcement triggered no small amount of panic on my part. I just am not a great cook. Good enough for home. Most of the time. But not reliable enough for the general public. Wish me luck.
I am creating:
Christmas gifts, therefore I can't elaborate because my family reads my blog. I also picked up some delft blue Aida cloth and ivory floss for a simple monochromatic something.
Around the house:
We picked up another old crucifix at the consignment shop last weekend. This one is probably close to 30in high. Just over $10. Unreal. Also found a little vintage creche set. Another ten dollar purchase that made me very happy. It is nearly the same as the one I grew up with, not precious but precious to me. Otherwise, the craftroom shelves need tackling. I am not sure it will happen before Advent and Christmas however. Just being realistic. I do have some little prints framed and ready to hang in there this week though.
From the schoolroom:
Restocking our file folder games. Lots of cutting and laminating involved. Finishing book reports. Full steam ahead since sports are finished and dance is settling down.
Thinking about:
I am thinking about my oldest sons a great deal these days. As of this week, my family is spread out across three continents. Continents. Boggles the mind. Asher is flying to Korea as I type. I am so very proud of him. Still, it is a very long ways for a heart to stretch and mine feels close to bursting some days.
Growing up, I truly envisioned a Walton-style existence, with all my kids close by in the same little hamlet forever. But they inherited the adventurous spirit they were raised with and off we all go to explore this big world and take on personal challenges. I wasn't expecting this but that could well be my life theme song. : )
I thought about a verse today, "To whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required." Luke 12:48 There is so very much to be thankful for. Certainly this family has been blessed abundantly. Now and then someone comments that they read here and assume we lead a charmed life. Not so. There are times I truly disagree with what God seems to think I can bear. But He always wins these disagreements. I have determined to focus, especially in this space, on the good that is given daily. But know, too, that much is also required in this simple – but not easy – life. : )
…apples… and Alannah. And a very fine day for a long hike with my oldest daughter. I do so love an overcast autumn afternoon for wandering backroads and tractor paths.
We headed out together after church, taking the road this time, passing the cows watching warily from the pasture.
She was the first to spot the tiny green apples. I followed her rabbit trail, watching her muse.
Conversation comes easily these days with this girl-turned-woman. Sometimes it is serious and pondering. More often on these walks it is just thinking out loud. Noticing. Exhaling.
Exhaling is important for girls-turned- young women looking down the road at a wide open and largely unknowable future just around the corner.
It is important for their mother's too, especially if they have sent other children down that road.
It is good to just BE with this girl because I know that like her brothers, each passing year now and each step she takes will take her further from home into the bigger world.
We won't always have all the time in the world for walking through orchards and gathering apples in our pockets. This is the last year of her childhood officially. Next fall she will be eighteen.
Knowing that, I consider an afternoon like this a singular gift.
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While there is life, there is hope. Lean into the plow and don't look back. It is the looking back that throws us off course and sows weeds of despair. |
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If you haven't visited Lady Lydia lately, I would encourage all women whose hearts are home to read her recent work. She has enabled an app to link to print ready documents of her essays to make it easy to add those that speak to you most to your journal. I did just that today. She has a gift for reminding folks what is important when the world, and even those closest by, can be working overtime to convince you otherwise.
Some favorites:
Steadfastness at Home if you feel you have no choice but to leave your home
Living Without Unnecessary Stress
She also quotes St Paul about avoiding strife and arguments and notes:
"Spending too much time trying to convince others that the path you have chosen to follow is the good way, can be unhealthy…. If you have written something on a blog or on paper that states your purpose and your personal creed, it is easier to let someone read it and think about it." (rather than either person exhausting energy stores by engaging in debate)
So there you have it written down and I will keep comments off for this one. : )
"Take in as much joy as you can whenever and however you can. You may find it in unexpected places." - Letting Go, Morrie Schwartz
I was going to blog goings-on lately. There have been many to choose from. Just… didn't. Instead I played with pictures. It is a major joy-bringer. I did a random book pull from my favorites shelf and opened to this line. It reminded me why I bought the book years ago and how similar the messages in my home library are, despite the fact the authors are so very different. Morrie goes on:
"You can find joy in practically any situation if you are open to the experience of happiness. Even a mundane task such as washing dishes can be an occasion of pleasure if you let yourself marvel at the colors of the soapsuds or let the sight of a plate remind you of the last holiday you spent with family or friends. Whatever your activity, do it with care and consideration and awareness. If you focus on doing the best that you can under the circumstances without making yourself anxious or nervous about it you might find that what you are doing becomes a source of enjoyment and pleasure rather than just a chore."
Take in joy, however unexpected it may be.
* more about Morrie here
Something on Michelle Duggar's blog caught my eye this week, her thoughts on discipline here. She voiced some convictions I have had forever such respecting a child's privacy and dignity even when they are in the wrong:
<<When we see them do a kind deed we praise them publicly. We always say, “You deserve praise.” You praise someone publicly, but if you’re going to have to correct someone, you correct them privately. You take them aside and talk to them privately so that you don’t humiliate them in front of people.>>
When my big kids were little one of them had some sort of run-in with a friend while we were playing at their house. I heard the friend's side. Then I took my little person aside to hear the other side. Both had valid complaints, though my child had responded poorly. I told him to apologize, cool down, and we would re-address when we were home. I heard the friend's mother tell her child to "..stop complaining because his mom isn't going to do anything about it anyway." : /
There was a lot of emphasis on correction in those days and on being seen catching wrongdoing. It was not considered good parenting to miss it. (it may not be that different today actually) But even early in the parenting game I had a hunch that correction and redirection should be about the child and not about the audience.
It was nice to see Michelle voice a better option:
<<…if I see the little ones not being kind to each other, I will take them aside and I will deal with them and talk to them and have them work this out amongst themselves and learn to communicate and be kind to each other. And then when I see them being sweet and doing what’s right, I make a big deal!
I think biting your tongue as a parent and saying, wait a minute, hold on. Let me look for something good. Surely there’s one thing good that they did! I’m going to find that one thing …and praise them for it. Even the tiniest little effort they made>>
As so often happens, I pulled How to Raise An Amazing Child off the shelf a few days later and found a similar sentiment. In the discipline section Seldin discusses teaching children to do the right thing versus focusing on mistakes by keeping simple house rules:
1) Treat everyone with respect.
2) If you use something, put it back correctly when you are done.
3) If you break or spill something, clean it up.
4) Tell the truth and don't be afraid to admit when you make a mistake.
These seem to be very good guidelines for grown ups too and he encourages same:
<<Model the same behaviors that you are trying to encourage in your child. Consciously try to catch your child doing something right – reinforce and acknowledge even small steps in the right direction.
Teach your child to do things correctly and emphasize the positive rather than using insults and anger. It's not always easy. >>
It's not always easy. I wish I could tell you I never lapse in these areas. I can't, especially when we are busy, preooccupied, or otherwise not feeling our best. But I can tell you I embrace that number four and try to admit my mistake and try again with number one. If I can't model perfection, and I can't, perhaps I can model effort.
(If you want to download an 8×10 inch copy of those simple house rules for the Montessori home you can right click the image and save.)
I walked with Alannah just before dark on a hazy evening the other day. It's been a while and it almost felt strange. Funny how such a short time out of your routine can change your life so much. I am sure there are many implications there.
When I was in the Netherlands as a teen they had a conviction that one should spend two hours a day outdoors. At first glance that doesn't seem like much. But when you consider your daily schedule, unless you are a farmer or bike to work, it rarely amounts to that. Sports practices help. Walking helps. Still it is a challenge to swing that much time daily.
There was an old man who lived in the farmhouse above and below. Very old. All last year he could be found sitting in the sun right under this window. From early spring until late into fall. They put an umbrella up for him in the heat of summer. One day as I came through the village we saw the ambulance and family out front. He is gone now, but he spent his last days breathing in sunshine. The old farm wife is outside yet, puttering around the garden, feeding the chickens. Bustling. Her little harvest dries on the windowsill. Her Tasha Tudor-esque profile and earnest hard work inspire me.
I can date the eras in my life by my cookbooks. One of the early "Dayton cookbooks" is a vegan, Adventist, spiral bound church cookbook which I cannot remember having acquired. I rarely use it for cooking. It's honestly not very good. But in the back there is a section called Nature's True Remedies prescribing Pure Air, Sunlight, Abstemiousness, Rest, Exercise, Proper Diet, Water.
I am thinking again on those things this fall.
Now I see the secret of making the best person: it is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. - Walt Whitman
I am not at my best when I am not outside regularly. Why I fight it and hole up here in my nest I don't know. Cold, perhaps. I am assembling scarves and tights and gloves and determining to step out that door daily once more, for more than errands.
Starry Sky Journal 