"We should speak only when circumstances or the glory of God or love for our neighbor requires it.  Apart from these cases it is better to be silent. In silence we find the spirit of recollection and the grace of God which is its source. We learn that to be recollected and interior people we must speak but little, and then say what the Spirit tells us in our heart we ought to say.

Readiness to speak too much is the sign of a distracted heart and mind, and such distraction is already a great evil. 

Sentiments of piety easily vanish in the course of conversation; silence on the contrary preserves and strengthens them. 

You will find few people who repent of having kept silence, but many who regret having said too much.

The wise man speaks only when the right moment comes (Sirach 20:6), that is, when silence would be wrong or unfitting. 

Whenever many words are spoken, sin is not lacking. (Proverbs 10:19) The man who speaks less is always more prudent. 

Constant experience tells us that where there is greater silence, there is greater innocence. Remember the principle that it is always better to remain silent when there is no need to speak.  It is a great art to be able deliberately to speak or remain silent, and men can be quite expert in everything else but ignorant here. Grace gives us better instruction than all the teachings of men. 

The less you speak to creatures, the more God will speak to your heart."

The Imitation of the Blessed Virgin

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,

that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,

that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

I have observed this holiday in many places over the years.  As a child we lived across the street from the state fairgrounds for some years and watched fireworks in the sticky summer heat from our porch or on the back of a car.  Later, we all walked down to the park near the high school in the small town where I met my husband.  I missed one 4th entirely since I was an exchange student in the Netherlands that summer.  Then there was the summer when we stood by a grandstand at a military base in Germany with a band belting out the national anthem on an electric guitar.  I would go into labor with our first child soon after.  

We watched one of Selena's last concerts in Texas one hot Independence Day with three little boys and me pregnant with our first daughter.  There was a joint celebration in England one year where we all got bottlenecked on a farm field until 2am. 

There have been celebrations overseas that were boycotted by host nation folks for political reasons.  This year there are boycotts inside our borders.  It's not a perfect Union by any means but I like to think we continue to work towards that in our imperfect, messy manner.  There is still no other place I would rather be. 

It is stormy here at home this year.  The kids are scattered to various parties or work. I will be watching Rowan Atkinson's new series with Colin and eating the ribs slowly cooking on the grill. 

Moira sent pics of the babies in their star spangled best. 

The little girl cousins are five months old this weekend.  

I was thinking about some of the poems we have studied over the years and these two seemed timely this year.  The first we memorized years ago for school.  The second, an insightful, raw, yet hopeful look at America in the thirties by Langston Hughes.   May we continue to build one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.  

"Somehow we have gotten swept into a millrace, and it's nonstop flailing and thrashing just to keep ourselves from drowning. The sheer necessities of modern life sweep us farther and farther from any sense that it is all hallowed, really. What are we to do?

…accept the fact that life comes tumbling at us nowadays but that it is nonetheless possible for us to see our ordinary daily routines as proceeding among the hallows."  

Thomas Howard, Hallowed Be This House

Outside:

We had our first real afternoon hail of the summer just before dinner.  This, right after I had made a note to myself to buy hail netting for our son's vegetable pots.  It may be futile.  We shall see. We ran the attic fan afterwards and pulled some of that marvelously cool and fragrant air into the house.  

Wearing:

Capris, a tank, a floral tunic, and sandals.  All knit.  You could call it sort of lounge wear.  Ok, it's loungewear.  I did some lounging. I was supposed to have an appointment this morning but wasn't feeling great in the night.  The appointment was rescheduled and I indulged in a nap before tackling the day's work. I think we redeemed the day after all though.  Sometimes, especially with autoimmunity, you must respect your limits. 

In the garden:

The lupines are back in the garden.  They are a favorite and I may just dig out Miss Rumphius every summer going forward. Those purple blooms are a tangible reminder of that wonderful character's determination to leave everyplace she went better for her having been there. 

From the Kitchen:

I baked a big ham for dinner.  Beef prices have been climbing but for whatever reason the ham is very economical yet. After dinner I prepped a casserole for brunch tomorrow, put up some slices for another dinner, then diced leftovers for omelettes or salads. There is such a sense of relief and satisfaction to have meals made up ahead.  It is like stocking up hours in the coming days. 

Around the House:

The bed and dresser my husband finished staining for our son is finally dry and installed in his room. This boy has shuffled around many rooms and roommates over the past several years and it is so nice for him to have his own space with some masculine pieces.  I found some thrifted gray and white loose sheets and sewed a simple duvet for him.  

Reading:

I finished my recent Tolstoy short story and am reading some picture books from the civil rights era. Yes, picture books.  I am so visual and have always maintained that if I am still able to learn from excellent picture books then so can my students, even if they are not little.  Two favorites were Ruth and the Green Book and Sit In

Reflecting on:

I've been thinking over the reading yesterday about the lost sheep.  While social media and maybe just human nature in general seem fixated on the sins of others I am reminded of St Paul's insistence that he, who was chosen by God Himself, was in fact the lowest of sinners.  How important it is to read these scripture passages in the first person.  The sheep whose feet I need to focus on is me.  I am the one likely to wander, not some anonymous other, much less a particular he/she/them.  It is I who stands to lose my focus and wind up where I ought not, at least figuratively.  It is Jesus Who I see coming around the bend as though to say, "There you are."  

The miracle is that He is willing to do this over and over and over, never tiring.  

Parental celebration holidays can be warm and wonderful affairs for close, healthy families.  For many others they are at least somewhat complicated. For some they are altogether painful.  We did not all have the same experiences and days like today can put a harsh spotlight on those differences.  

I mentioned the other day that we had recently watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.  I knew it was about a reporter who Fred Rogers connected with and how that relationship changed this man.  I wasn't aware of the specifics, nor how timely this story would be. At one particularly compelling part of the film, as the man is describing his life and the very difficult relationship with his father, Fred says simply but clearly,

"Try to remember that your relationship with your father also helped to shape those parts. He helped you become what you are."

All the experiences of our lives, all the people who have played big or small roles – villain or hero, protagonist or antagonist – have shaped who we are today.  It all came together exactly as it did to make us, us.

This thought brings me some peace. 

Outside:

The newly restored fountain has become a haven for songbirds. I assumed we mostly had birds of prey here in the high forest. The addition of this water source is drawing all manner of small colorful birds to the garden.  We plan to make a visit to the local wild bird store to learn more about different feeders and seed and see what else we can attract. 

Wearing:

I found a floral cotton knit robe which soon became a favorite staple.  It inspired me to add a few pastel pajama pieces to go along. It was a small self-care step that paid off well. 

From the kitchen:

We had a birthday.  Asher turned 30.  That makes one of us really old.  We had tacos and  cheesecake.  On one of my first in store shopping trips I picked up some of Pioneer Woman's new checked napkins for fun.  They don't go with my house at all but they will be great for the patio.  

Listening:

The Beatles have been my carpool karaoke soundtrack lately.  

Towards Health and Wellness:

I am all about the dumbbell workout lately.  My knee got messed up a few weeks ago due to a misstep in the house while cleaning.  I have not been able to walk distances reliably but have been able to continue the hand weights. I began juicing again.  Midlife hormones continue to be a challenge and I am experimenting with some plant based bioidentical augmentation.  That sounds much tamer than it is in practice.  Midlife is not for cowards, y'all.  Not at all. 

Watching:

We watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood the other evening. The set construct, flipping between a 70's style model town and the actual movie set, was off-putting to me, however it reignited my love for Mr Rogers and has sparked many conversations about connection and empathy, versus pity and judgement. How do we encourage healing? How do we ground ourselves to be truly present with one another? Hint: less talking and more earnest listening.

Reading:

I could not help myself.  After reading a passage from Family Happiness I ordered a volume of Tolstoy's short stories. I feel at home once again, getting caught up in his characters' dreams and fears.  

Around the house:

We installed a giant mirror this past week.  There had been a large architectural mirror in the living room when we first saw the house. It ended up leaving with the family which greatly saddened us, having seen what an impact such a piece made.  After a year we have replaced it and are very happy with the way it reflects the light and adds depth to the space. 

From the Craft Room:

The girls are proficient at the sewing machine now. We bought some things from the thrift store that needed alterations.  Yesterday we tag teamed to get several pieces cut and hemmed.  It makes sewing a pleasure and the job was quickly finished.  

Considering:

"Better than fasting…."

I revisited St John of the Cross last night with a friend when we were both dismayed by a recent display of gossip veiled as prayer.  It is a fine line that runs between information and sensational curiosity.  Before we speak on what we hear he says  in his Sayings of Light and Love, “Conquering the tongue is better than fasting on bread and water.”

In his counsels he goes so far as to advise that we "carefully guard against thinking about what happens in the community and even more against speaking of it, of anything in the past or present concerning a particular (person): nothing about his or her character conduct or deeds no matter how serious any of this seems."   These ultimately distract us from our own weaknesses and tend to puff us up with pride. Is our ongoing commentary really as essential as we imagine?  In most cases we do best to pray for our brethren and go back to work our own fields.  It is the rare occasion where we can speak negatively and not harm ourselves in the process. 

"What we need most in order to make progress is to be silent before this great God…"

"With our pitchers we sometimes attempt to water a field, not a garden."  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Balance is not an achievement in itself, but a journey – and I am always on my way there, never fully arrived.  The world summons me countless times each day. The phone rings, the request is put forth.  And I must summon the strength and clarity to know when to say "no" with grace, and when to say "yes" with pleasure and conviction. I remind myself I am not shirking my social obligations, I am protecting our family life."  Mittenstrings for God

Another edition of Two Related Thoughts from my commonplace book. This time, a reminder to consider the capacity of our pitchers. 

So many families find themselves trying to keep learning going on at home right now. There is no shortage of advice about how to do that.  A friend mentioned the other day another challenge she has: incorporating the daily prayers and bible reading into this new normal.  Before commenting I will remind you that our life has been in flux more often than not so this is not a perfect science. Also worth noting is that I am relaxed to a fault and never have been one to abide by strict clock-dependent schedules.  More often than not however, my days have a flow that includes those things, so I can at least tell you how that happens for whatever that may be worth. It may spark ideas that can be adapted to work in another home.  

Years ago we had a book for Catholic converts which touched on common prayers and practices.  It mentioned introducing one such prayer or practice at a time and trying to be faithful to it for a stretch of time before adding new ones to the mix.  Normally that would be ideal counsel, although with children suddenly home and missing the prayer routine they may have had at school, there is a good argument to be made that including whatever has been taken from them would be a stabilizing thing to do. 

Typically, I begin my day with several bookmarks in the Mother Love book.  Several of us have private prayers we say alone while it is still quiet. I have a deep devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows and the prayers in my confraternity book for various members of the family and various needs speak to me.  Others do bible study or read from something like a Fr Lasance title for boys or girls. It's different for each and some do nothing, quite honestly. 

Then comes the whole waking up and feeding of big kids in the throes of adolescence.  The challenge here is to retain some of that peace and resolve which descended with the personal morning prayers. No lie.  This is a challenge, especially while encouraging them to get up, get up, and, for real, get up now. Eat, do dishes, start laundry.  

When we go to the school room to start lessons we use our large prayer card and say the morning offering.  Technically morning has already started but we are now awake and starting the work part of the day and more importantly, we are together.  The prayer card we use has the morning offering, the acts of faith/hope/charity, and the angel of God prayer. After we finish we read from a saint of the day book.  All that takes just a few minutes. I will often read a bit from a read aloud novel and a spiritual book right about then too. Then we knock out seat work such as math and language and other text work. 

At noon we say the Angelus (or during Eastertide Regina Coeli) and break for lunch.

After lunch we settle back in to finish any work and then we begin our workouts, usually separately.  I will sit in on the girls' dance practice afterwards. If I write that day or do a major project it's usually in the afternoon.  Then come afternoon chores and thinking about dinner prep.  

After dinner, while most of us are together, we say the rosary and St Michael prayer.

Always.

Then we say the end of day prayers: the Fatima prayers, Visita Quaesumus, Act of Contrition, Angel of God.  

Usually we will break up into smaller groups to play games or watch movies or whatever TV shows we are following. Sometimes one or more of us will just go to bed to read or crash early. 

A few random thoughts would be first, none of this takes a very long time.  These are more like little breaks to reconnect and anchor our days.  Sometimes I will listen to the rosary or the Bible online while I soak in the tub or fold laundry etc since I try to get in more decades each day than we say together.  Most importantly I will also mention here that we do not consider ourselves to be better people because of this routine, rather the inverse is true. We try to hold to a routine because we are frail creatures and know all too well how much we need this and how badly we mess up when this framework is not in place.  

In short, we are not superior because we pray; we pray because we desperately need the grace prayer gives.

Some resources to support:

Many of us have created bulletin boards or a command center of some sort to collect the calendar, saint book, etc needed for our routine.  I like to keep a printable calendar or coloring pages (you don't even need to color them) displayed nearby like this

It helps to have a little basket set up for rosaries and bibles/missals/prayer books.  Pinterest has some ideas for manipulatives for little people. 

Years ago I was inspired by Andrea's discussion about religious communities and their daily routines. She compares the schedules for three different monastic orders, a teaching order, and a suggested "rule" for homeschooling moms. My own schedule look very like hers except dinner and rosary times are flipped.  The chart is super helpful in ordering our days and while it is still available online I hope you'll click through to it here. 

There are various apps online that can be used for daily devotions.  Butler's Lives of the Saints 

Catholic Devotions Rosary is one I am used to but there are many on YouTube 

Since this is supposed to be a very natural part of the day, I don't go too crazy with bells and whistles.  The more complicated it gets, the less likely you are to stick to it.