Lovingkindness

Every year my esteem for St John Bosco grows exponentially. I was not introduced to his teachings until the late 90s however there are many parallels in the Montessori method: respect, peace, observation of the child, alternating large muscle movement with periods of close concentration, and authentic faith practices that foster true comprehension. 

This treatise remains my go-to best resource.  

 

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DON BOSCO – WRITINGS

THE PREVENTIVE SYSTEM IN THE EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG

CRITICAL EDITION: P. BRAIDO – TRANSLATION & NOTES: P. LAWS

TEXT

On a number of occasions I been have asked to express, verbally or in writing, a few thoughts concerning the so-called Preventive System which we are accustomed to use in our houses. Until now I have not been able to comply with this wish for lack of time, but since at the present moment we are preparing to print the regulations which now have been observed as it were by tradition, I have thought fit to give here an outline of it, which however will serve as a sketch for a small work which I am preparing, if God will give me life enough to be able to complete it. I do this solely to help in the difficult art of the education of the young. Therefore I will say: in what the Preventive System consists, and why it should be preferred; its practical application, and its advantages.

I: In what the Preventive System consists, and why it should be preferred.

Through the ages there have been two systems used in the education of the young: preventive and repressive. The repressive approach consists in making the law known to the students and then supervising them in order to detect transgressions, inflicting, wherever necessary, the merited punishment. Using this system the words and the appearance of the Superior must always be severe, and somewhat menacing, and he himself must avoid all friendly relationships with his dependants.

To give greater weight to his authority, the Director would need to be seen but rarely among his subjects, and generally speaking only when it was a question of punishing or threatening. This system is easy, less demanding and is especially useful in the army and among adult and sensible people who ought of themselves to know and remember what is according to the law and other regulations.

Quite otherwise, I would say its very opposite, is the preventive system. It consists in making known the rules and regulations of an Institute, and then supervising in such a way that the students are always under the vigilant eye of the Director and the assistants, who like loving fathers will converse with them, act as guides in every event, counsel them and lovingly correct them, which is as much as to say, will put the students into a situation where they cannot do wrong.

This system is all based on reason, religion and loving-kindness. Because of this it excludes every violent punishment, and tries to do without even mild punishments. It seems that this system is preferable for the following reasons:

1

Being forewarned, the pupil is not disheartened when he does something wrong, as happens
when such things are reported to the one in charge. Nor does he get angry from being corrected, or threatened with punishment, or even from actually being punished, because there has always been through the affair a friendly voice forewarning him, which reasons with him and generally manages to win his friendship, so that the pupil knows there must be a punishment, and almost wants it.

2

The basic reason (why young people get into trouble) is youthful fickleness which in a moment can forget the rules of discipline and the punishments they threaten. For this reason, a child often commits a fault and deserves punishment, to which he had not given a thought, which he did not remember at all in the act of committing the fault, and which he certainly would have avoided had a friendly voice warned him.

3

The Repressive system can stop a disorder, but only with difficulty can it improve offenders. One observes that young people do not forget the punishments they have suffered, and generally remain embittered, wanting to throw off the yolk, and even to take revenge. It seems at times they pay no heed, but anyone who follows them up in later life knows that the recollections of the young are dreadful, and that they forget the punishments inflicted by their parents, but with great difficultythose given by their teachers. Episodes are known of some who in their old age have exacted an ugly revenge for certain punishments justly inflicted during their school days. On the other hand, the Preventive system makes a friend of the student, who in the assistant sees a benefactor who gives him good advice, wants to make him good, to shield him from unpleasantness, from punishment, from dishonour.

4

The Preventive system offers the student previous warning, in a way that the educator can still speak to him in the language of the heart, whether during the time of his education, or later. The educator, having won the loving respect of his protege, will be able to greatly influence him, warn him, counsel him, and also correct him, even when he is employed, whether it be in the civil service, or in commerce. For these and many other reasons it seems that the preventive system should prevail over the repressive.

II: Application of the Preventive System

The practice of this system is all based on the words of St Paul, who says: Love is patient, love is kind … it bears all things … hopes all things, endures all things. ( 1 Cor. 13:4.7 passim) Love is kindly, and patient; it puts up with all things, but hopes all things and endures any disturbance. For this reason only a Christian can successfully apply the Preventive system. Reason and Religion are the means the educator should constantly make use of, teaching them, making use of them himself, if he wishes to be obeyed and to attain his goal.

1:

For this reason the Director should be dedicated to his pupils, nor should he ever assume tasks that would take him away from his duties; on the contrary, he should be among his pupils every time they are not taken up with other legitimate tasks, unless they are duly assisted by others.

2:

The teachers, the technical instructors, the assistants should all be of known moral rectitude.They should try to avoid like the plague every kind of (morbid) affection or exclusive friendshipwith the pupils, and they should realise that the wrongdoing of just one person can compromise an educational Institute. They should operate in a way that the students are never alone. As far aspossible the assistants should precede them to the place where they are required to assemble; theyshould remain with them until others come to assist them; they should never allow them to be idle.

3

Give them ample liberty to jump, run, make a din as much as they please. Gymnastics, music,declamation (of poems, etc), theatricals, hikes, are very effective methods for getting discipline;they favour good living and good health. One must only ensure that the plot, the characters and thedialogue are not unsuitable. That great friend of youth, St Phillip Neri used to say,

"Do whatever you wish; for me it is enough you do not sin".

4

Frequent Confession, frequent Communion, daily Mass are the pillars that ought to support an educational edifice, from which one would want to keep at bay threats and violence. Never require the youngsters to go to the Holy Sacraments, but just encourage them, and offer them everyopportunity to make good use of them. Then on the occasion of retreats, novenas, homilies, religious instructions, one should highlight the beauty, the greatness, the holiness of that Religion which proposes with such easy methods things as useful to civil society, to peace of heart, to thesalvation of one's soul, as are these holy sacraments. In this way the young people will becomeinvolved spontaneously in these religious practices, with pleasure and with fruit. (1)

___________________________________________

(1) Not long ago a minister of the Queen of England, visiting an Institute in Turin was taken to a large hall where about 500 boys were studying. He was not a little amazed at seeing so many children in perfect silence, with no supervision. His amazement grew even more when he came to know that perhaps in an entire year, one did not have to complain of a word being said out place, or so much as threaten a punishment, much less inflict one. "Tell me, how ever is it possible to obtain such silence and such discipline", he asked. And he added to his secretary, "Write down whatever he says". "Sir", replied the Director of the establishment, "the means we use is not available to you." "Why?" "Because they are secrets known only to Catholics". "What are they?" "Frequent Confession and Communion, and Daily Mass well heard." "You are absolutely right. We lack these powerful means of education." "If you do not make use of these religious means, you must turn to threats and the stick". "You are right! You are right! Religion or the rod, I want to recount this in London".

___________________________________________

5

Exercise the strictest vigilance to prevent there being allowed in the Institute friends, books or persons who carry on bad conversations. The appointment of a good doorkeeper constitutes a treasure for a house of education.

6

Every evening after the usual prayers, and before the students go to bed, the Director, or someone in his place should offer a few kind words in public, giving some good advice or counsel regarding things to be done or avoided, and let him try to glean these from events that have taken place that day in the Institute or outside. But his talk should never go on more than two or three minutes. This is the key to good behaviour, progress and educational success.

7

Avoid like the plague the opinion of any one who would want to postpone First Holy Communion to too old an age, when most times the devil has taken possession of the heart of a youngster with incalculable harm to his innocence. According to the discipline of the early Church it was customary to give to infants the consecrated Hosts left over from the Easter Communion. This helps us realise how much the Church loves to see children admitted to their First Communion in due time. Once a child can tell the difference between bread and bread, and shows himself to be sufficiently instructed, pay no attention to his age and let the Heavenly King come to reign in that happy soul.

8

Catechisms recommend frequent Communion. St Phillip Neri advised receiving once a week, or even more frequently. The Council of Trent states clearly that it greatly wishes every faithful Christian to also receive Communion each time he goes to Mass. But this communion should not only be spiritual but in fact sacramental, so that one may gain greater benefit from this august and divine sacrifice. (Council of Trent, session XXII, ch. VI)

III. Utility of the Preventive System

Someone might say that this system is difficult in practice. I reply that from the point of view of the students it turns out easier, more satisfying, more advantageous. In the case of the educator, it does include some difficult features, which however are diminished if the educator addresses the task with devotion. An educator is one devoted to the well-being of his students, and for this reason ought to be ready to face every inconvenience, every fatigue in order to achieve his goal, which is the civil, moral and intellectual education of his students.

Over and above the advantages set out above, I would also add:

1

The student will have the greatest respect for the educator and will go on recalling with pleasure the orientation he was given, always considering his teachers and the other Superiors as fathers and brothers. Wherever they go, these students are generally the consolation of their families, useful citizens and good Christians.

2

Whatever might be the character, the attitude, the moral state of a pupil at the time he is enrolled, his parents can be secure in the knowledge that their son will not deteriorate, and one may confidently assert that one will achieve some improvement. Indeed, certain youngsters who for a long time were the scourge of their parents, and were even refused entry into houses of correction, when cared-for according to these principles, changed their attitude, their character, they set themselves to live a decent life, and now fill honourable places in society, thus becoming the support of their families, and a credit to the area they live in.

3

Pupils having unfortunate habits who perchance should gain entry into an Institute will not be able to harm their fellows, nor will good boys be harmed by them, because there will be neither time, place, or opportunity, insofar as the assistant, whom we presume to be present, would rapidly put things right.

A Word on Punishments

What criteria should one observe when inflicting punishment? Where possible, one should not make use of punishments, but when necessity demands repression, one should bear in mind the following:

1

The educator at work amongst his pupils should make himself loved, if he wishes to be respected. In this case the omission of an act of goodwill is a punishment, but a punishment that acts as a challenge, encourages, and never disheartens.

2

With the young, what is used as a punishment becomes a punishment. One can observe that a less-than-loving look is for some worse than being struck. Praise when something is done well, blame when there is negligence, are already reward and punishment.

3

Except in very rare cases, corrections, punishments should never be given in public, but privately, apart from companions, and one should use the greatest prudence and patience to have the student understand his fault through reason and religion.

4

To strike one in any way, to make one kneel in a painful position, to pull any one's ears andsimilar punishments should be absolutely avoided, because they are forbidden by the law of the land, they greatly irritate the young, and they degrade the educator.

5

The Rector should make the rules well known, along with the rewards and punishments set down in the disciplinary policy, so that no pupil might be able to excuse himself by saying he did not know what was commanded or forbidden

If in our houses this system is put into practice I believe that we will be able to achieve excellent results without resorting either to corporal punishment, nor to other violent punishments. For these forty years during which I have dealt with the young, I do not remember ever having used any kind of punishment, and with the help of God I have always got not only what was necessary, but even had my wishes met, and that from those same young people for whom every hope of a good outcome seemed in vain.

Sac. John Bosco.

Everyday Magic

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What goes around comes around.  The cool part is that the ratio of big hands to small is more evenly balanced with grandchildren.

Just pure pleasure. 

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"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder."

– Joseph Cornell

A year with Lucy

One year ago Avery's other grandma and I had just made a rather white knuckled trek across town from the hospital where we had spent the previous day and half while Avery was born and settled in. We were pretty groggy and just sat down to eat our first real meal in a couple days when I got the texts from Moira saying she thought she was in labor. A flurry of thoughts ran through my head.  I quickly scrambled to call my husband.  Could we get there if we left now?  I had SO hoped to attend both granddaughters' births.  Lucy was wasting no time, however, and the snow was not letting up.  I spent the next couple of hours on the phone with Moira's wonderful sister in law who gave a fabulous play by play update until our little Lulu made her entrance. 

Lucy has been her own little person, completely different from her big brother, as babies often are. Chill, curious, laid back. She just quietly stood up and walked a few weeks ago, the way she does things – no fanfare. Each of these children take up their own space in my heart and I am so very grateful for them and happy they will have each other going through life.  

 

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Choose One

 

White Christmas

Many years ago – 14 looks like – I shared this article from Simply Charlotte Mason.  I had a new baby that winter.  We had some livestock. Most of our kids lived at home.  Those words affirmed my experience as a then new mother of nine.  Less is more, at least when it comes to traditions and activities.  A few well chosen standby's, repeated annually, get planted deeply in a child's memory bank. 

There are even more ideas available today than there were so many years ago.  If I was overflowing with options then I can only imagine it must be like drinking from a fire hose for young mothers today.  I stand by my 2006 assertion: 

"Read one Christmas chapter book as a family.   One, not twenty, unless you were so inclined. For us that is The 24 Days of Christmas by Madeleine L'Engle.  We will be reading it AFTER Christmas since it has taken me that long to remember the title and track it down but that's ok. It meant so much to me when I first read it that it is worth the wait.

Rest.  So as not to get that 'shade of anxiety' I am guessing. Plus passing out in the mashed potatoes is inappropriate. ; )

Watch over habits.  This has been on my heart as we have been relaxing school since Tess was born. It is easy to relax about a whole lot of things that need attention though. We will work on maintaining the routine  and the good habits even if we do break from academics. 

That's it!  No clever ideas for napkin folding or dessert. Just read and rest.  I am remembering why I love Charlotte Mason."

 

Busy moms, choose one of whatever it is.  Choose one delightful cookie recipe to make together.  Choose one wonderful Christmas album (thank you Spotify) and sing the songs together.  My grandmother had two as I recall, Bing Crosby and Perry Como, and we turned them on each December.  Choose one craft.  Ours this year are the paper lunch bag stars going around the internet. 

Choose one.  

And next year remind yourself to do the same.  

 

June Daybook

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Outside:

The rain has begun to fall regularly once more.  The bloom times are quite delayed at this altitude so we are just beginning to see the first spring flowers. The yard is our escape right now.  We have cut down dead trees, uncovered a retaining wall, sanded and stained our wood patio set, and hung more lights over the deck.  I use 'we' loosely.  I have been mostly applauding and advising and enjoying the fruits of their labor.  

From the kitchen:

Pizza Stuffed Pepper casserole from Cleanfoodcrush was a hit.  It was even better for breakfast the next day with eggs.  She has a tuna stuffed pepper recipe that may be on the menu for Ember Days this week. 

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Liturgical living:

Yesterday was the Feast of the Pentecost. I love how things come together when we really immerse ourselves in a lit based lifestyle.  Today we had this passage in The Courtship of Miles Standish where the recently spurned Captain insists the only tongue that will be understood is "the tongue of fire that speaks from the mouth of the cannon!" The elder of the community, "the one voice of peace," responds:

"Not so thought Saint Paul, nor yet the other Apostles;
Not from the cannon's mouth were the tongues of fire they spake with!"

Ember Days as mentioned above are this Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. They are a time to acknowledge the changing of the seasons, to fast and pray for the one that is beginning.  It seems a particularly good idea right now. 

From the learning room:

Along with working through the last epic poem in our Longfellow volume, we have reached the Punic Wars in our history reading.  We covered The Big Three in Greece.  

Big Three ancient Greek philosophers | Ancient greek philosophers ...

and Alexander the Great

Alexander the Great | ClipArt ETC

and his struggle with The Gordian knot also summed up by Phineas and Ferb.

Reading: 

The library is now open for curbside pickup.  Given our current crisis we are working through many books on civil rights, diversity in general, and the history of nonviolent protest. We have pulled from lists from my Pinterest board. We just try to keep listening to each other's stories and consider new perspectives.

Creating:

Tess finished the last skirt and now we need to order more fabric.  

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Thinking about:

So often the saints' words are a sign of contradiction.  They fly in the face of our first instincts. They make me pause and consider.  I am pausing and considering these words of St Therese and how often I lack that peace that she insists comes from letting of my need to defend.  It's pride, really. What if someone has a completely faulty impression of me?  What if?  

It's ok.

 It needs to ultimately just be ok. It is inevitable after all.  Of course, the flip side is remembering we are just as wrong about other people more often than we suspect.  

"Why should we defend ourselves when we are misunderstood and misjudged? Let us leave that aside. Let us not say anything. It us so sweet to let others judge us any way they like. O Blessed silence which gives so much peace to the soul."  – St Therese of Lisieux

May Daybook

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Wearing:

Athletic wear.  Does this make me an athlete?  You decide.  (pssst…no)

From the kitchen:

Kitchen-ing has been a challenge with local food shortages.  I have just begun curbside pickup at Walmart and it is a game changer.  SO much more efficient to sit here and "shop" then send someone to quickly grab the order outside the store.  No crowds.  No lines.  Also not much meat yesterday, however.  

Tess made her first yeast rolls this past weekend.  There were pumpkin muffins with mini chocolate chips using our old favorite recipe below.  Geesh. If the condition of those notes is any indication, we have used this one an awful lot.  

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Creating:

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The girls pushed me way out of my comfort zone.  They were determined to sew with knits.  My sewing experiments have been hit or miss over the years.  They pushed forward despite my reservations and purchased four different knit fabrics.  I tapped a friend's brain and we jumped in.  As it turns out old dogs can learn new tricks.  Our first efforts were successful and I am inspired to try more.  Highly recommend this tutorial. It included all the templates and instructions we needed. 


Skirt 2

Skirt 2

From the learning room:

Textbooks are getting finished and I am shifting emphasis back to our morning basket reads.  We are taking this time to brush up on logical argument and the rules of debate.  A few resources I have enjoyed:

How to Evaluate an Argument (video)

How to Spot Bias Excellent discussion with helpful illustrations. I have printed and posted these at home. Well worth our consideration! We also discussed control of media and censorship because those are real too.  We shouldn't check our brains at the door though.  Thoroughly vet all sources of info.  

and these wonderful Logical Fallacy graphics here

 

In other news it is delightful chatting with my sons around the kitchen island late in the night.  They don't all read voraciously but at least are familiar with things they ought to read.  We were teasing one boy a bit for confusing The Inferno with a  popular modern work.  Another son dug out the book and showed him an illustration of the rings of hell.  The conversation eventually morphed into the river Styx, the goddess Styx, and the rock band Styx.  And that might be all you need to know about how things work around here lol.  

Watching:

All the Jane Austen adaptations we can get our hands on.  I am SO thrilled my second set of daughters are willing and interested in exploring Jane.  I am convinced her novels are excellent preparation for adult life.  In the past week or so we have enjoyed BBC's Sense and Sensibility series immensely and the Kate Beckinsdale version of Emma.  We finally viewed the newest Emma and while it was amusing at times (hurray for Miranda Hart)  it was largely a spoof and a disappointing one.  

Listening:

The guitar.  Tess and Asher play often though never enough for me. I love it!  The guitar is a rental from the school and will be returned soon.  A new one will need to be sourced.  The ukulele had a fatal accident, having been left on the floor near the sofa one movie night.  A new one is en route.  We are looking at some crafty repurpose projects for the old instrument.  

Towards wellness:

The boys have been holding their workouts in the garage and now out onto the turf field since the weather has warmed. They were doing sprints out in the culdesac the other day.  Oh, what the neighbors must think.  

Should I be out there with them?  

Yes.

Am I sitting here typing? 

Also yes.  

Around the house:

This time at home has furnished me with the opportunity to tackle some big organization projects.  The oomph was not easily come by.  I needed a lot of prodding.  Truly it can be overwhelming to sort years of family memorabilia as well as figure out new systems for things we use daily.  I found my organization books and frequently refer back for inspiration. Favorites right now –

Beautifully Organized by Nikki Boyd (website here)

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The Complete Book of Home Organization 

The Complete Book of Home Organization  by A Bowl Full of Lemons

Asher is making progress sanding down the old patio table.  

Big thought: 

When you find your heart growing sad, divert yourself without a moment’s delay;

make a visit, enter into conversation with those around you, read some amusing book, take a walk, sing, do something, it matters not what, provided you close the door of your heart against this terrible enemy.

As the sound of a trumpet gives the signal for a combat, so sad thoughts apprise the devil that a favorable moment has come for him to attack us.  - St Francis de Sales

Diversion is especially essential during times of crisis when we are prone to obsessing over things.  We do best to figure out the next right thing and not to overthink dark possibilities.  People will encourage us to do that. Try to resist.  It is better to keep busy, be peacefully productive, and to turn the focus off others (that's never fruitful) and onto improving ourselves, our children, or our home in some way. 

 

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Daybook: Holy Week

From the kitchen

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These are full days to say the least.  Many meals to be made with unpredictable availability of ingredients. I am glad to have my books back and pulled out Make a Mix to see what might be helpful.  We made cornbread mix and plan to get some meat mixes made and frozen to start.  If you don't have the book you can check out any of the online Master Mix collections and print. Also a great concept but does require more ingredient mixing on the cooking day than this book. 

Watching:

A Hidden Life | IFFR

Asher suggested A Hidden Life last weekend and boy was that a good call. I have not been so pulled into a film in a long time.  My thoughts continue to drift back to it over and over.  So much reflection about discernment, how truly difficult it is, how so many want to sway you one way or another, and how terribly invested and opinionated people can be in your personal choices. The sheer strength of mind it took him to come to and remain faithful to his decisions amid the swirling controversy and the contradictory counsel he got from all sides is inspiring.  The resolute calm of his wife in the face of the scorn and ridicule of the community was simply awe inspiring.  As her father simply stated, "It is better to endure injustice than to commit it."  

Reading:

 

Perelandra (Literature) - TV Tropes

Kieran is reading Perelandra for class. He's doing fine so far so I have not read along. He's been enjoying it much more than expected. 

Creating:

This might sound silly but most recently I have been absorbed with dog grooming.  We have two Standard Poodles who are used to regular visits to the groomer.  There has been a lot of YouTube happening. My results are very amateurish but respectable enough for the first effort.  

Archie

I am sneaking in some class time for myself when I can.  It isn't often as I would like, but I have online classes backing up and website work to get to. 

Health and Wellness Steps:

We ordered a small oximeter.  A mom whose kids got very serious cases of covid recently had mentioned it is a handy gadget to have and helped her decide who needed more medical attention. I figured it was an affordable item that would be helpful for home eval of many potential respiratory issues.  

Wearing:

My glasses.  Not my fave but I am trying to ration out my remaining contacts. 

Around the house:

The crucifix is covered for Passiontide. 

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Abbie set up the Easter tree with our German ornaments. Once the snow melted we had many small downed branches to use. Friends were discussing sourcing easter candy etc and I realized I have not given much thought to that.  That is very me of me, to say the least.  I don't forget to decorate.  I do forget about food.  I am not doing the shopping these days either, however, and am beginning to see how intuitively I shop.  Trying to create comprehensive lists in advance or to walk someone else through substitutions is a challenge.  

Apr 2020 easter tree web

Outside

We ventured outside to catch the super moon.  It was admittedly less super in the forest where the trees blocked the flashier appearance as it came up over the horizon.  Still?  Points for trying.  The blinds were up last night when I went upstairs later and the moon lit up the room pretty spectacularly. 

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Thinking about:

The George Eliot line from A Hidden Life and reminding myself that I ought to tackle Middlemarch

“..for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts;

and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been,

is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life,

and rest in unvisited tombs.”

 

 

 

Daybook – quarantine edition

Some lately's…..

First I want to share the happy new that we have two beautiful granddaughters since February began. Avery Marie, our Ave Maria baby, arrived first after a long – let's just say grueling – labor. 

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Her other gramma and I had just navigated back through a snowstorm to crash for a few hours when we learned her cousin was making her way into the world.  Meet Lucy Alainn….

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They are a balm to our souls through these stressful days we find ourselves in. Some bits and pieces from life lately…

From the learning room:

Abbie is making notebooks for science and history.  This is definitely her preferred learning style and they are awesome.  Source here

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You might think quarantine would not be all that impactful for homeschoolers but it has been.  We are rather world schoolers.  These kids are used to going to various programs and classes around the community nearly daily. They had jobs and friends to see.  We are carrying on with classwork as always but I am trying to be mindful of their stress levels and sadness.  I am making a point to pause my own work to watch a movie or play a game or grab one of them to take a walk while we can still do that.  

I also recently got my office set up, thank you IKEA.  Having the right tools makes a big difference.  On that note, my main work computer and my camera both died in unison with this present plague.  The computer was replaced and the camera repaired just ahead of the quarantine. 

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From the kitchen:

I was able to get a number of eggs from a farming friend who had too many.  With an eye towards potential shortages coming up, I froze several.  I want to tell you this works!  

 

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Reading:

As many of Thyra Bjorn's volumes as I can source. 

Big thoughts:

We like so many friends, streamed mass today. Afterwards, I listened to this wonderful piece about being the face of Christ to those around us.  Especially beautiful was this thought.

 

"Is it not a sign and a wonder that with a word and a smile, we can lift the soul of another out sorrow into joy, out of unhappiness into happiness, out of discouragement into hope, 

With the cloth of our unselfish concern we can smooth away the lines of fear or pain from the face of Christ in one of Christ's fellow men, 

we can turn the sobbing of a child into laughter."

I considered this week that just a few minutes of hair brushing or painting nails has such a dramatic effect on stress reduction with a child. An older child may no longer be tucked into bed or reach for hugs.  You may need to look for these little opportunities to connect and breathe together.  

 

Woman with pink hair doing nail polish

Towards wellness:

Aside from quarantine we are having a typical snowy springtime in the high forest here.  Jessica Smith is my go-to right now.

Image result for jessica smith

Of course if you are able, a walk outside is good for everyone.  Just keep moving.  Good for mind and body, both under assault right now.  

 

 

 

Goals

It could not be more cliche to discuss goal setting the first week in January.  Here I am though, because one of those goals was to document more consistently.  2019 was a move year.  We began in one house, ended in another, and had a few short stays in between. We were so very happy to be near our children and old friends. We were also anxious to get the children settled.  For this reason, the house was quickly set to basic order and we jumped right into living.  In some ways that was a blessing.  There was time to see how the spaces needed to work. There was time to see how our new schedule played out.  

Busy.  That's the best way to describe the past year.  And new.  Everything new.  

New house.

New school programs

New neighbors

New puppy

New health challenges (Ahem, hello middle aged shenanigans. Is it warm in here or is it just me?)

New schedules

New climate/weather patterns (rain, rain, then snow, snow)

It's been dizzying and wonderful in so many ways but there were important adjustments to be made and habits to regain. So here we are.  Some 2020 notes I have roughed in so far:

Health: 

Cut carbs back to just fresh fruit

30 minutes a day out with the dogs

Stretch/strength routine regularly

Supplements organized

Prayer:

Mother Love morning devotions

Rosary and St Michael chaplet

Print liturgical calendar

Rotate seasonal and saints info in kitchen frames

Mother Culture:

Finish Tolstoy and begin shorter works

30 minutes daily reading

Scrapbooking/Studio time

Puppy class

House:

Set up command center/launch pad

Revamp pantry

Refloor basement

Most are underway now. Idle scrolling has been one of the little foxes that can spoil the vineyard.  It's a fine balance because I do also get tremendously inspired online.  I tend to be able to discern when I am no longer inspired or acquiring info and when I am procrastinating though and am working hard to shut the latter down.  

 

I will share more about our newest addition, a standard poodle puppy.  Let me just say here that while it was entirely insane for so many reasons, she is keeping me focused and moving and outside daily.  She is doing the same for our older buddy Archie the poodle as well.  Jefferson said, 

Walking is the best possible exercise.  Habituate yourself to walk very far.

Castle walk

It's likely that Jefferson had a more ambitious estimation of "far" but I am trying and the dogs are grateful.  It is truly the habit and not the action that is the challenge.  There is always a good reaon to put things off.  In the end its the habits that make the difference.  If you don't have a copy, a favorite resource is Laying Down the Rails from Simply Charlotte Mason.  I have read it over and over and am always inspired.  The best takeaway was to start with one good thing.  

Just keep doing it.  

Walking was my one thing to start being consistent with this year, for myself and my dogs.