It was during a lesson about dividing fractions that I noticed something peeking out from under his cuff. He sheepishly rolled his sleeve up and a silly grin spread across his face.
And mine.
“What it's like to be a parent: It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.”
If growing up means
It would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
Not me!
– Peter Pan
“Passion is lifted from the earth itself by the muddy hands of the young; it travels along grass-stained sleeves to the heart."
After a long day in the car but before unpacking the suitcases their Dad suggested we go outside and walk as far as we could before sunset. He and Brendan slowed down to throw the football back and forth. Abbie skipped over to a patch of dandelions, grabbing as many as she could.
By the time we got back to our hotel room all the cobwebs were blown out along with those seed heads. Everyone was finally ready to curl up under the blankets for the night.
And I am finally working through the Last Child in the Woods, thinking of all the places to explore this summer. There are going to be lots of evenings like this, God willing.
Maybe we call it a May-book?
Outside: Sunny and 50's. We have had a lot of stormy weather recently. We watched our big aspen lurching into the open part of the yard as a couple roots snapped right in half. It will need to come down now, google tells us, but it is hard to believe it while it's still so green. We then lost power for 8hrs the other day when a power line pole was struck and caught fire. The little ravine our gutters empty into completely filled up after this last storm. Neighbor said it was the first time in 20 years he had ever seen that.
So yeah. Crazy weather but beautiful blue skies once again. They always come back if you ride it out.
Wearing: You're probably like, who cares right? Fwiw, it's some coral ankle length cotton pants, white tee, and a denim jacket for appointments today. Fun look back at fashion by the year here.
Reading: fiction. New fiction at that. This, friends, surprises me. More Chris Bohjalian which quite honestly freaked me the heck out. I grabbed it on the way out of the library and then was taken aback at the opening graphic depictions. NOT g rated. Be clear on that point. This is more a review than a recommendation. I admit though the writing was skillful and one could never, ever be lukewarm about human trafficking after reading. Am choosing a different genre for the next read though, since that is the next best thing to mind bleach.
Tess is all Nancy Drew these days. Steadily working her way across the shelf of the library.
Fitness: Spring training for mom happening now. It's been a good month. Slow but steady progress. This is my last year of the first half century of my life. God willing I will be entering the second half strong. Today was a good day starting this way. Yesterday I was so tired and frustrated with some new resistance exercises I overshot and ended up collapsing on the carpet. There may have been some tears involved. I just got up today and hit it again. Persistance wins right?
In the kitchen: there is an Instapot pressure cooker on the way! Sending up a prayer it is the answer to my weekday dinner time crunch. Are you in on this latest and greatest gadget? Friends have added me to Facebook groups and this promises to revolutionize meal prep. Paleo Instapot recipes here 5 jillion instapot pins here.
From the learning room: Finishing the last few books for several students. Lighting a (motivational) fire under one other…. The boys have been busy with extracurricular sports. We are enjoying exploring some old shows on youtube like Liberty Kids, Wishbone, Bill Nye and even Cover to Cover (yes, I am that old) which follows my best motto of "Speak slow, Speak low." And if you are also a midcentury mom you might remember Write On and probably also saw that one played on a filmstrip…
In other news: Moira has saved up for and purchased her first car. Her brother has been driving me around prepping for his license. I am awed at the passage of time this represents. Not sad at the speed of it, nor particularly anxious for it to hurry up. It's rolling along as it should.
Around the house: I picked up this set of embroidered linens from the antique sale. There had been another similar set at the flea market in Germany which left me with serious reverse buyer's remorse when I left them there. Now they are here. My young German friend tells me they say:
What mother bestowed upon me once
shall be smoothly and prettily ordered,
I treasure/hold it up it in this closet,
like once my mother did.
In community: Such a time we have had. A dear older lady we know had a massive stroke. We helped get her home for hospice and were blessed to help in the small ways we could until her death the other day. It has been so good to have something purposeful to be a part of.
We meantime are awaiting confirmation of what looks to be a grave diagnosis for my mother. The past weeks have been chock full of discussions and decisions, texts and calls. Some of those have been middle of the night which probably explains the being flattened on the carpet part above.
How do you navigate times like these? St. Therese is a good model:
"If I did not simply live from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient, but I look only at the present, I forget the past, and I take good care not to forestall the future. When we yield to discouragement or despair it is usually because we think too much about the past and the future. But, pray much for me."
yes, please : )
Or that time we had ice cream for dinner. They serve some epic ice cream at the roadside market in Mount Vernon, WA. People stand in lines that trail outside the building and out into the garden. If you ask around 'everyone' knows where to go. So of course we had to give it a try. It was late afternoon when we arrived at the market. The sun was slowly sinking lower in the sky but the air was still warm and breezy.
We passed the time while waiting visiting with the man in front of us and his little dog. He turned around, did a quick head count of the dozen-plus of our family and friends, then threw back his head and laughed it was a darn good thing he had gotten in line ahead of us. Truth! The whole scooping of softball-sized artisan ice cream scoops into hand-wrapped cones fresh from the waffle iron takes time.
Slow food is the best food. It was a perfect way to ease into the evening after a whole day in the sunshine. The kids loaded into the van, full and happy, and most of them promptly drifted off to the oldies playing on the dashboard radio.
Good friends, great day.
The sun was shining in beautiful Moab, UT last weekend and we were race groupies once again. It was the first time since we moved back and it felt good to be going through the familiar paces: picking up race packets, pinning numbers on, squeezing to the front of the finish line for that high five. We spent a three day weekend almost entirely outside, soaking in the canyon lands and shooting a crazy number of frames. I felt very like myself again by the end.
This seemed ambitious to me – building the playset ourselves. Sooooo many pieces labeled with letters and numbers. "Oh yeah," he said. "We can do this. It'll be good for them," he said. "They need to learn to this kind of thing." He was right.
The kids asked everyday how many more days til they could open the big boxes that have been waiting in the garage since Christmas. Last weekend was the start date. They got up bright and early Saturday morning and began doing inventory and making a game plan. My head does not work this way, for the record. I'm sure glad his does. Patiently they sorted and piled and hammered and tightened screws. It's nearly finished and with any luck it will be together before the weather turns again Sunday.
Traveling north from Missoula through the Flathead Reservation we found the beautiful St Ignatius Mission church. The original cabins for chapel and convent are still on the premises. St Ignatius is famous for the 58 original paintings by Brother Joseph Carignano which cover the interior. Fr Hoecken, one of two priests who founded the mission along with Fr DeSmet, describes the place better than I:
". . . I arrived at the place designated on the 24th of September and found it such as it had been represented–a beautiful region, evidently fertile, uniting a useful as well as pleasing variety of woodland and prarie, lake and river–the whole crowned in the distance by the white summit of the mountains, and sufficiently rich withal in fish and game. I shall never forget the emotion of hope and fear that filled my heart, when for the first time I celebrated Mass in this lovely spot, in the open air."
Their story is here. Pictures of the interior here.
"…in today's impersonal, mass-produced age, the handcrafted card, especially for family members, is a rare token of affection. What happy home circle memories can be fashioned out of paper, glue and imagination! Family traditions, such as a home-grown celebration of Love's Own Day, require an investment of creative and emotional energy. But most of all, they require commitment. Like enduring love, they are true affairs of the heart."
Outside: Snow, sun, snow, sun….lather, rinse, repeat. I am totally good with that. There are boys to shovel and everything has looked crisp and clean and white all winter.
Wearing: Brown velour tiered skirt, tan long sleeved tee, faux fur vest, and boots. That's what I had on as I strode into the dentist office feeling super confident about my ability to pull an outfit together. That feeling lasted much of the morning, pretty much right up til I noticed the little plastic tag thingie hadn't come off the vest with the price tag and was sticking up at the collar. Keeps you humble. ; )
Listening to: I Believe I Can Fly. Overandoverandover. Brendan's fond of his new piano song. We requested a few he could sing along to because….he does. Who knew Space Jam would have such staying power? Six sons, people. A lot of Space Jam has happened here.
Reading: Oh yes. So much. I picked up What Alice Forgot at Costco Friday and binge read for a few days til the last page. I haven't done that in a loooong time but it was worth it. Disclaimer – the characters and plot involve issues or behaviors I would not endorse! However, it was a remarkable exploration of forgiving and forgetting, which is much, much easier than forgiving things while the memory of them still plagues you. It was about whether one is able to extricate oneself from the vortex of emotion and dysfunction and reset a life.
I have thought so much about all the above. The main character gets amnesia and loses memory of the last ten years of her life. Ten years ago? Where was I? Gram was still alive. I hadn't been on a plane for 20 years. My husband was newly retired from the USAF and the little girls were not here yet. Europe hadn't happened. Some of the worst pain of my life was still to come. Some of the most unexpected, unbelievable gifts as well. How do we process all that and more? What have we lost from our younger selves? What have we gained?
So much is perspective. Looking at the same things a different way. On that note, I was also super inspired by this photographer's story. About his disability, the result of a violent crime, he explains that:
"It's one of those things I have to deal with, but also one of those things that made me someone who can see things from a different perspective and even enjoy life, see life and all its wonders – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oftentimes I capture things people miss or overlook day to day, maybe because I am looking for them as part of my joy, feeling like humanity is still good, still vibrant. Tomorrow is a new day…and I am hopeful things are gonna get better…at some point they have to get better. That's just the way I feel. Everything gets better for me. No matter what I am dealing with I know it's gonna get better. That's the kind of thing I try to give to other people."
Somehow, both of those stories came together in my heart this week.
Creating: Easter projects beginning. I am skipping over Valentine's because who am I kidding? It is less than two weeks from now and I will be traveling anyway. That, and stuff takes a lot longer than expected to finish in my world. We have half a chance of completing something by Easter. : )
Thinking about: Progress. Maybe it's 50 looming. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's grace. There is so much on my life learning list and I wish I had it all mastered yesterday. The time it takes to learn new skills has historically passed maddeningly slowly to pass to me. Someone shared this the other day from the founder of Uggs, speaking at a conference. He said the best way for a tadpole to become a frog is to enjoy every day of being a tadpole. Moral being don't rush it. Enjoy the journey. Let progress unfold naturally.
Around the house: We learned to repair drywall after a drain pipe leak. We, being the husband part of the household. We will soon be starting up painting trim again. The little girls have discovered my old Victoria magazines and are enthralled with all things floral and throwback. Since I never stopped being enthralled with those things, and since their older sisters never were quite as enthralled, I couldn't be happier. My friend Teri and I were discussing old houses and new styles and the term "single era decor" stuck out to me. Perhaps that is what is not quite right to me in so many shelter publications today. Best line in the conversation was, "Home is something that develops, not something that is created in a single swoop."
Starry Sky Journal 