jump

Posted on May 26, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

(my gorgeous soldier son)

(a daughter, a son, and a beautiful fiance-in-law ; ))

They say you can't go home again. That's obviously not completely true. People do that all the time. What I think people really mean is that you can't turn time back. That if you do go back to a place that was yours, way back when, it can never be the same. That part is sorta true. That isn't bad news though.

My oldest daughter and I traveled back to Colorado last week. It was my first trip back to the States in three years. That's a long time to be out of your country. It's a long time to miss your old friends. A long time to live on a different continent from some of your children. It's just a long time.

Was it different? No. Yes. The roads, the cars, the whole driving on the right side again. The houses and stores that have popped up. The altitude, the weather, the sheer scale of everything. All such a shock to the senses. Then, though, there were old friends, great food, and talking late into the night with my kids who are not kids anymore.

Was it awesome? Definitely.

Could I live there again? Sure.

Would it be like it was before? No.

That isn't bad news though.

We watched the movie Ten Years last night. While that isn't a ringing endorsement necessarily, there was a line at the end that hit home. One character had moved overseas in the years after high school and wasn't sure he would be coming back again. His friends, still nostalgic for days gone by and not entirely at peace with where life had taken them, thought that was so very sad and asked why? He said he had loved that town. He loved moving to the new place. And he was pretty sure he would love the next thing in store in his life too. Why look back (with either longing or regret) when you can look around and look ahead?

I feel that way too, and that isn't because life has been so exceptionally easy. It hasn't been. There's no pity party there. Just being frank. It's been tough. And I'm not completely sure it's going to be a whole bunch easier in years to come. But in life, like in photography, we always have a choice about where to focus. In life, like in photography, it is critical to nail your focus. It all gets fuzzy when you don't. It's hard to see things the way you should. Could.

I loved living there. I truly did. I would love living there again. I love living here too. I think all that has a lot more to do with the decision to love than the particular place in question.

If you've read these pages for any length of time you may have figured out I don't take leaps of faith so well. Sometimes I leap and then completely freak out mid-air. There were a few moments of freaking out before boarding that plane, while negotiating flight changes, when my heart was stretched across a very wide ocean with kids who need me on both sides of it.

It was still a good idea to jump.

along the river Ouse

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

"How lovely the little river is, with its dark changing wavelets! It seems to me like a living companion while I wander along the bank, and listen to its low, placid voice…"

– George Eliot

checkers

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

you’re getting warmer

Posted on April 28, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

"…warmer, warmer, NO! colder, ICE cold!"

Did you play that game as a child? We are playing a similar game in England lately. It was cold, cold, cold and then we had a few gloriously sunny weeks. The flowers erupted into bloom and the kids shed their coats. We turned off the Aga, which had been on far longer than usual into the spring. And I snapped away, fortunately, because it is the memory of that little pocket of toasty weather that is keeping us going as we are hunkered down together under blankets tonight.

We are enjoying that too though. Yesterday we flung open the windows and were spring cleaning like mad. The kitchen got a good scrubbing and my husband cleaned the cellar storage which has been lingering untouched since we moved in. Our cellar is a Grimm's style scary dark stone dungeon where we would rifle through moving boxes for a missing item and then dart back upstairs as soon as we could. Now its nicely sorted and stacked.

Today we braved the cooler temps and hiked the woods of Norfolk a while. Back home, I attempted to watch some software tutes while they watched their movie. I sent one boy for headphones so I wouldn't disturb them. I thought I had it situated but did notice the sound seemed a little far off. And what else was that? "Mom!" huh? Oh, the kids! They were about falling off the couch laughing. I had my headset on just fine and the video rolling but I guess I didn't plug the cord in. <g> Yeah.

I am so not of this century. But I have figured out enough to have been in nearly hourly contact with my boys this weekend despite all the other activity. Big things (good) happening in their lives. We are staying in the thick of it from here and I'm planning to be there for a week next month. So, that is where my brain is right now. Which may account for the headphones.

Or not.

Random weekend notes – we are reading The Children's Homer at lunchtimes. The boys love it.

Brendan just discovered Usborne with this book on Britain and is really liking the format

We watched this movie and liked it despite so-so ratings. Maybe because it hit home having lived in the American West.

New fave magazine: The Simple Things

Fave dinner last week: Cheese Philly Steak Stuffed Peppers

Better wrap up here. A few more pics:

bottom pic is from my phone. I don't think I have a "real" picture of our road and the daffodils are on the way out now. It was lovely though.

What’s your super-power?

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

About a year ago I took pictures of this awesome family to hang on their father's (husband's) hospital walls. It's been a big year. There was a valiant battle with a rare sarcoma. There was loss and there has been grief. There have been good days and bad days. And now there is the moving forward again into future that looks very different from the past.

We tend to think of heroism as the leaping-of-tall-buildings sort of events, but the more you live life, the more you come to see that the greatest battles happen behind the scenes with little fanfare. The true heroes? They are the ones who win the daily battle of putting one foot in front of another, who can look an uncertain future in the face and say, "I am coming anyway." Some mornings you can rise up with great courage and face the day. Other's you just manage to raise your hand to say, "Present." But on you go.

Krissie and her kids are doing just that. We took another set of family pictures this year to mark where they are now and how they are moving forward. Every detail was symbolic. They wanted to wear their super hero shirts to document their quirky side as well as their overcoming. And there is another shirt on Krissie's lap, the one Rob wore last year. I am grateful for the erratic weather we were dealing with because I didn't have time to really process that as I was shooting. I can tell you that working on them afterwards was tough.

Barbara Bloom says:

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."

This is what strikes me this year. Their family suffered a great blow, but if possible they are even more beautiful than they were.

So, what's your super power? Are you struggling with illness, a wayward child, a lay-off? Have you moved – maybe again and again – to a new place where you are just another face in the crowd? Are you buried under laundry and diapers? Behind that chatty Facebook wall are you slaying dragons all those "friends" are unaware of?

Then let me ask you this? Did you get up today? Did you get cereal in some bowls? Did you shower?

Awesome! You're a super hero too. Here's to all of us. <g> Keep up the good work.

hitting the road

Posted on April 20, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Couldn't say where. All I know is the weekend involves a suitcase and a picnic basket. : )

of dust and dollhouses

Posted on April 19, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Once again I attempted Bath pictures and they got eaten up. It's a bad idea to try to do much online in the evenings here. Our connection speed drops quite a bit and becomes downright erratic when others in the area get online. Maybe tomorrow there will be time. I feel like I say that a lot and then there isn't, but that's ok too.

It's funny because when the children are little there is so very much time spent supervising, guiding, helping. Days go by without many free moments at all. Now many of mine are long past needing that sort of input by me, but still there are texts, emails, and catching up around the kitchen island when we all return from work and activities. And those are the very best parts of the day. We have become a community and I love that. Though in a community this size you can expect that at any given time some people are sailing along and some need encouragement and someone might be struggling. That's pretty much how it usually is and it keeps you on your toes.

We had a freak wind storm this morning which got our day off to a running start. Just after Allen and Alannah headed to work it kicked up. A loud bang caught Aidan's attention and he noticed the trampoline had flipped over and up onto the side of the house. Fortunately it missed all the windows but it was quite impossible to move it with the wind at 26mph. The boys held it in place until we had a pocket of calm when we could get it to the fence and tie it down.

In the distance we could see the dirt clouds building. Our farm was a higher piece of fen land and never was underwater as so much of the surrounding area once was. However, it was sort of like the beach, you could say, and some of the fields are still very sandy. They are ideal for growing the carrots and beets they plant here. But at times like this, after the last harvest and before the next, the wind wrecks havoc.

It was all much better by soccer time. And the wind did not trigger my car alarm multiple times like it did during the game the night before. ThankyouGod.

What else? The littles have been making heaps of progress academically though in surprisingly short spurts during the day. In between there is a LOT of dollhouse play for the girls and throwing of footballs in imaginary games for Brendan. Still, they are learning so much. I have had them together for some things. In photography-speak they call it batch processing. <g> They are both reading like mad. B is reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to me. Tess is moving into the short chapter books he just moved out of. Both are learning cursive. Both are working through If You Lived in Colonial Times (and the other books in the series) Both are soaring through the Strayer Upton math. So fwiw, these are all hits.

The flowers came home with a man who is concerned about some tests of mine that came back with a little hitch requiring more tests. Hopefully nothing. Probably nothing. But sort of hanging overhead until they are "for sure" nothing, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of news, its been a big week hasn't it? Much sadness and scary stuff playing out on screens. We tuned in the other night when Boston was unfolding. We sent the little ones to bed but one of the boys was all curled up next to his dad so I left him and his older brother to watch with him.

It soon becomes apparent that although the news is ON 24 hours a day, there isn't really 24 hours of breaking news. There is about 7 minutes of news on a continuous loop. So we watched and we turned it off. Between us and our facebook feeds we have the gist of what has happened since. It's enough. We know to pray and we are. But we can easily forget that kids are not tiny adults. There is nothing good to be gained by letting that continuous loop of disturbing news and sensational images become the background music of their lives. So in their world there are dusty clouds and dolls to dress and soccer nets. Just as it should be.

Wishing you the same.

Ready for Takeoff

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

That's Sarah – bold, joyful, exuberant and about to graduate. I was as emotional about her senior session as I was about my own daughter's. Her journey overlapped with our's our the past three years and we are better for it. I can't wait to see where life takes her next. It's going to be awesome.

looking around lately

Posted on April 13, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.

– Gaston Bachelard

Happy weekending to you.

English Breakfast

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Kim Halloran-Fry

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.”

My older daughters and I spent a long girls' weekend in Bath with friends. I hadn't made the reservations nor really investigated much ahead of time so our inn was a delightful surprise. We decided not to stay in Bath proper but rather at a farm not far away. That of course is a real treat for a farm girl. : ) It is fascinating to see the many variations there are on this theme throughout the world.

The mornings begin with a full English breakfast. I was familiar with the tea, but honestly never gave much thought to the term itself, much less how it differed from a continental breakfast. The continental breakfast, common in hotels in the States as well as on mainland Europe, tends to be served buffet style and is on the light side. Cereals, bagels, yogurt, and maybe cheese or cold cuts are common. A full English breakfast is exactly that – full. Huge. Hot. Awesome.

First came the steaming French press, brought out by the lovely gentleman who ran the place. Jugs of fresh local cream sat on the tables topped by weighted doilies, presumably once meant to keep out flies but there were certainly none around. Teapots joined shortly. On a side table there were already bowls of chopped fresh fruit and yogurt waiting.

Then the courses began arriving. There were eggs – boiled, fried, scrambled. Bacon rashers and sausages. A side note on that too is that Americans tend to use side cuts for bacon resulting in what the English call streaky rashers. The more common bacon here is back cut, more like Canadian. There was then toast and croissants. Fried mushrooms and tomatoes. Hash browns.

The farm was bustling early in the day as farms tend to be. Horses were exercised and fed. Chickens, ducks, peacocks, and turkeys meandered just outside the conservatory windows. A little slice of heaven.