The week got away from me.  Ended up being filled to the brim.  I wanted to share some of the fun places I have visited.  But I didn't.  I wanted to share the fun things we did in school.  Too busy doing them. : )  Then came taping piano festival auditions and Dr. putting one daughter on an allergy diet and now its the weekend.  Almost.  The weekend is full of promise.   Will catch up on the flip side. 

If there is one thing even better than playing ball with your Dad, it is playing on an outdoor court in perfect weather with your Dad and a dozen of your best friends.

No age segregation here.  Big and small, young and old in the mix.  Just between us, if ibuprofen is any indicator, the "young" did not get the worst of it either lol.  

Brendan gets a push…

And Abbie visits…

And Brendan is artificially colored.  I admit it. But, you're only 4 once right?

Good friends,  good times.  (Aidan on R)

"Take time to Play,
It is the source of perpetual youth."

When the same message comes to you through many messengers you begin to understand that it is important and it behooves you to take note.  I admit I am a slow study on this one and it has occurred to me in recent weeks that it may be because of an imperfect understanding of some key points.  

I have read Trustful Surrender several times and have been convicted that God does work all for good for those who love Him.  It has been driven home lately however that God wants more than reluctant resignation to His holy will.  It is not enough to say essentially, "Fine," to God. While I have gotten better about resigning myself to the will of God I have certainly fallen short on embracing it at different times in my life.  I have been one to fret, to panic, to fear, to be dismayed. 

A verse I have turned over and over is 1 Pet 3:6

"Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

I have shared this verse with women friends over the years while encouraging them to let their husbands lead.  However I am starting to also really focus on the adjoining message given here exhorting us not to be "afraid with any amazement." Other translations read "not fearing any disturbance" or "not letting anything terrify you."   I read that as "not freaking out." <g>  I assume it applies to ALL areas of life. 

The Silence of Mary recalled the many mysterious events Mary lived through – the Annunciation, the Presentation of Our Lord,  finding Him in the temple.  Always they were accompanied by prophetic yet enigmatic words to her.  He points out that Mary is said to have "pondered these in her heart."  The reaction is always the same, barely noteworthy in its calm, measured response.  Faced with the enormity of it all, and without demanding to understand completely, she consents to His will again and again. Mary's responses are significant not because of their wordy insight but because of her willingness to consent without demanding explanations and guarantees. It is peaceful surrender. Complete trust. The kind I very often lack. 

My responses are not historically marked by contemplative calm. More often, vocal objection reigns.  I always felt if I could see where God was going with a situation I could trust more.  But that isn't trust is it?  A friend who was instrumental in leading us back into the faith many years ago used to say, "Faith is only faith when it is all you are left hanging onto."  She was right.  Faith simply trusts, it does not require full disclosure from God. 

 

Kieran was reading about St. Felix last week, who earned the nickname Brother Deo Gratias because his first and last responses to every situation were, "Thanks be to God."    That is my goal, to be able to look every situation in the eye and say, first and always, thank you God, for this comes by Your hand to bless me.  I have found that the old 'fake it til you make it' adage works here.  Saying this reminds me, even if it comes before the feeling.

The bible says the Lord is not in the wind, nor the earthquake, but rather He is in the whisper. (1Kings 19)  We are told to be still to know God. This tells me I will not align myself with His will in a tempest of emotion but by quiet surrender.  In peace. I do not know all, yet I do not need to know all.  

An Act of Trust  

 

 My Lord and my God, I believe all that Thou hast ever taught . . . 

There is nothing harder for me to believe than Thy personal love for one so sinful and so worthless as I am, but I do believe it, Lord, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I believe that Thy love for me is not an affair of yesterday; “Thou, hast loved with an everlasting love,” and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 

I believe Thy love for me is as tender as a Mother's love, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I believe Thou hast planned everything that shall ever happen to me, lovingly and wisely, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I will never seek pleasure forbidden by Thee, because Thou knowest what is bad for me, and what is good, and I 

trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will always pray, “May Thy Holy Will be done in all things,” because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will accept the crosses of life, as I accept the joys, with a grateful heart, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will not be worried or anxious about anything, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will never lose heart in my efforts to be good, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus.  

 However, weak or sinful I may be, I will never doubt Thy mercy, because I trust in Thee,  O Sacred Heart of Jesus.

   In all my temptations,  

   In all my weaknesses,  

   In all my difficulties,  

   In all my trials,  

   In all my sorrows,  

   In every failure,  

   In every discouragement,  

   In all my undertakings,  

   In life and in death,  

   In time and eternity, 

   I place my trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 

(Imprimatur Patrick J Hayes – July 1, 1923) 

note:

I should probably add that no particular trial prompted these thoughts.  They were borne out of reading about providence, praying for those close to us,  and then stepping back to see what my own reactions say about my ability to see God in all of life.  

All of our kids end up with some silly pet name.  It is looks like this one that caused Sister Agnes to say upon meeting Abbie, "Oh!  She's a kewpie doll!"   

Yep. : )   We know.  Uncanny isn't it? 

Brendan's training wheels came off this week sorta by accident.  One broke.  He couldn't wait for new ones though.  Yesterday he asked Alannah to help him and within five minutes flat he was rolling down the drive on his own. By the time Moira and I got back from our walk I could the boys calling "Hey Brendan, wait up!"

Aren't they a study in orange?  And yes, I know the boy has no shoes again.  He followed us outside when I was taking pictures of Tess, got the idea for a push, and it all happened literally in the blink of an eye.

With no small amount of nostalgia I was watching Alannah as she lined up pineapple rings in the cake pan and placed a cherry inside each.  It was for all the world like watching my Gram years ago.  Brendan noticed as well and wanted to know if we were making dessert.  I said yes, we are going to have pineapple upside down cake and didn't that sound good?  Brendan nodded and then was silent for a bit. He then noted very solemnly that since we would be eating on the ceiling the table would be like this (insert arm motions of table legs pointing up) and how would we stick?  

Summer evenings have been exceptionally sweet this year.  The temperature drops, dinner dishes are abandoned long enough for a few more passes of the football or jumps off the bike ramp. The sun, dropping slowly into the mountains, eases in intensity and instead of washing everything out, it bathes the countryside in gentle golden light.  The pull is irresistible. The dirt road beckons me and I walk and walk, no car in sight.

 It is me and the wild sunflowers towering overhead along the roadsides and fences.  They are not beautiful, as flowers go, but they are strong. 

They are not daunted by prairie winds, nor hail, nor drought. They are briefly beaten down with the roadside mower when they threaten to overtake the road, only to return again to journey east to west daily in pursuit of the sun.

I don't walk as far as I used to these days. I am hoping to build up my strength again. Still, long or short, these walks are stolen moments of quiet reflection.  They are over all too soon.

Our pasture approaches and a half dozen or more laughing voices and barking dogs meet me at the drive. 

We linger outside in the dusky darkness for a few moments longer and
then drop into bed with that very satisfying fatigue which only comes
after time outside.  It is good to be home.