This weekend has been full of moments. Wonderful, together moments that I could not have foreseen as the week wound down. Friday we had First Friday activities at church which went very well. A few families moved over to the park afterwards and the kids played volleyball in the cool, fall air. Babies swayed back and forth on the swings while moms visited.
We left there late afternoon to make my midwife appt. Allen met me there to swap cars and kids. Alannah decided to stay back with me so we made an evening in town out of it while Allen got Dad time with the rest at home. After the checkup we hit the dollar store, stocking up on fall decor. A stop at the health food store for dinner followed, then the Christian bookstore. We ended up at Old Navy where she spent the money she had saved on a new skirt and top and I came face to face with my age, figure, and wardrobe all at once while waiting in front of the ginormous mirror outside the dressing room. (Ok so that part was less than wonderful. I still maintain zero is not a size. It is a non number. It doesn’t exist. If it did, however, I am pretty sure that would be the size of the dressing room attendant. But I digress…)
Alannah as usual was very quiet through most of the evening. She started to chat at Old Navy as she debated which would be the best staple pieces to invest in. This led to a long discussion in the car about good buys and bad, and what makes good thrift bargains and what is better purchased new or higher quality. All this of course led to more rabbit trails and chatter about growing up and making decisions and so on. We ended the evening praying together in the car and falling into bed with that good kind of tired.
Saturday was as pleasant. Allen took the little boys and Moira to a church work party for the better part of the day while we cleaned here. Sunday found Aidan running a temp and unable to go to church so he and I stayed back. We got his scout uniform ready for the big first meeting this week, moving patches to the new, larger shirt and marveling both at how much bigger he is this year and how much progress those patches represented. Later Kieran and I made cookies with Tess. His baking skills have improved to the point that he can measure, pour, and stir quite well with little help from me.
In all there was an abundance of quiet time with several children which we could not have pre-planned but which proved to bless us all. Several things have been bouncing in my head since, for starters, the Christian bookstore. I stood in the “women’s section” and got quite an education. I now understand why so many women in the generation just now starting families often look at me like I have two heads. We clearly have not read the same books. At that point in life my friends were lending me titles by Elisabeth Elliot, Edith Schaeffer, Mary Pride, and the like. These shelves had not one title that was familiar to me, likely due to sentiments like I saw on amazon calling the life work and vision of these women “trite”.
In place of these, there was volume after enlightened volume full of advice about stress relief. Instead of helping women do this one big job exceptionally well, there were books with carefully planned strategies to meet the demands of multiple roles, each of which would take all of one’s time to do well. Instead of pointing out that obvious truth, they persist in encouraging women to spread themselves thinly across an impossible number of areas. The abundance of stress management books then made sense. : /
I also realized that one major problem these multitasking women would face is the impossibility of scheduling ‘quality time’ such as we enjoyed. Children often defy such scheduling. My dear daughter had to sit on her thoughts throughout much of the evening until they had come together in a way she could articulate them freely. Had I pencilled in an hour for her we would have missed this opportunity entirely.
Some things can’t be rushed. Likewise very little people cannot schedule their wonder. In education circles there is the term Teachable Moments, used to refer to those spontaneous “Aha!” breakthroughs when a child is curious. You can lecture all day long but the effective teacher knows nothing can replace being in the right place at the right time to ride a teachable moment wave.
As a mom I am seeing we also have Reachable Moments. While we plan many activities with our children we cannot know in advance which will break through and touch a heart, which will lead to an especially moving exchange. It takes a lot of waiting and watching and sowing of seeds to see which will take root and spring up in unexpected ways. It takes the ability to then drop other things to run with them.
There are many who are burdened with the need to wear multiple hats because of death, divorce, or dire illness. Should you be one of these, I do not wish to burden you further. I fully believe God can work all things for good for those who love Him. I am thinking more of those of us who tend to pile on more and more and forget that in the process we are squeezing out Reachable Moments. A comment from last week mentioned that it is often more difficult to purge activities than possessions. This is so true. Maybe it helps to think less about taking things away and more about making room in our families for moments like these. It’s worth it.
Starry Sky Journal 