San Antonio, summer of 1994, what can I say?  It was rough.  It had been a rough year in fact.  My husband and I had married nine years earlier, after he finished his second semester of college and he had joined the Air Force rather than enroll again.  Eight years, five homes, and three little boys later he walked across the stage to receive his bachelor's degree.  The week we learned he had been accepted to Officer's Training School we also discovered we were expecting our fourth baby.  

While he was gone for training the boys and I muddled along as best we could.  His commission would mean immediate relocation so we had to close up the house and move into temporary quarters before his return.  I remember distinctly getting the house packed up, getting the keys to the temporary unit, and then being beset with (thankfully) false labor.  He arrived soon after and I was well enough to travel though not drive.  His mother helped us make the long trek from Ohio to Texas.  

The heat arrived just as we did.  The rental house introduced us to small garden lizards and large roaches. Our parapalegic son was hospitalized after injuring his foot at the new babysitter while I was at the obstetrician's office.  Another son got a wicked gastrointestinal bug.  The onset was swift and unmistakeable as we stood, with me very pregnant, at the checkout cashier one day.  Our beautiful baby was born soon after and then?  Husband got a temporary assignment.  Where?  Back in Ohio.  

It was almost surreal. 

We had signed the lease on the new house and had no option to accompany him back to Ohio, so I stayed in Texas with the children.  In desperation one afternoon I pulled out the letter with the number scrawled in tidy cursive.  My sweet neighbor Mabel from Ohio had written urging me to call another friend of hers who had also recently relocated to the same base.  "You two need to meet!" she insisted.  Truer words were never spoken.  

Jen and I have always chattered non-stop with each other, our words tumbling over each other's like puppies. It was clear by the end of that first call that help was on the way. I remember walking up the cement pathway to her little rental house.  Her oldest son was swinging a plastic bat at a tee and she was standing in the door all warm and bubbly.  Jen's whole demeanor says, "Welcome." 

It was blessed relief to finally meet her.  We slipped into each other's lives readily, easily, permanently.  Her boys slept on my living room floor the night their sister was born by emergency c-section.  My children woke up to her in our kitchen the morning Moira was born.  We threw baby showers and birthday parties.  We had big cooking days, stocking freezers for deployments or medical needs. We occasionally got out together for 'mom time' catching a concert or conference.  

When we left three years later it was every bit as hard as when I had left my own family years earlier.  Our visits began to take place by phone and by email.  We wouldn't see each other in person for several more years but we would talk and talk, challenging each other to hold fast and try harder and to never succomb to the despair that sometimes threatens the strongest of military spouses.  

We still do that. 

Twenty-one years later Jen has gathered her thoughts into a new book to share with other military spouses.  It's solid.  I know this because I have heard these words over many many, years when I needed to hear them.  Today you can download the kindle version on Amazon here.  (the hard copy is coming in February!)  The format is fabulous for those in the trenches.  Each section begins with a story followed by practical and spiritual applications: challenges, prayers, scripture, and reflection. She meets you where you are and comes up alongside offering sound counsel and encouragement. 

If you are "married to the military" or just plain married, I truly encourage you to take that hand like I did. 

You can find more from Jen at her website 

(six years ago when we overlapped at the same base for two months) 

This.  

This is what I love best when we are all together and what I miss most when we aren't. 

Something about those little hands covering her eyes caught my eye in the mirror. "Ok, I'm ready, Mom!"  How many times has this scene played out in our family in 30 years: gently brushing out little tangles, making straight parts for ponytails, carefully dividing hair into sections to make even braids.  Little jobs like this are gifts. I am reminding myself not to rush through them because the day will come all too soon and there will be no more bows to tie. 

On my shopping list were two requests – binders and some glue. The little girls now each have a scrapbook full of ticket stubs and birthday cards and tooth fairy letters.  

Simple, child made, and much loved.

It was a quiet feast day here.  No cake this year.  Just some stars with a dusting of sugar.  Epiphany marks the end of the 12 days of Christmas.  It is the day we begin to wind down our celebration and put away the decorations.

It has been a beautiful season, though we are also getting a strong start to the new year which is full of promise as well. 

Sharing the pillows I mentioned yesterday.  Like I said, they were created from seasonal placemats I had been picking up throughout December and were super easy to sew up.  I pinned two placemats right sides together and simply straight-stitched around the edges leaving a space to turn right side out.  Then stuffed with some older past-their-prime cushion innards and handstitched closed.  

You're either going to really like these or really…..not.  This is so very NOT white slipcovered Pottery Barn chic. This is more 90's traditional. The sort of thing you see in 'before' pictures on Pinterest.  I have gone back and forth and back and forth about the decor over the years. It was pieced together as good quality resale finds over the years.  The thing about thrifting is it is much easier (read: more economical) to pick up formal than fashionable.  As in, you can pick up a set of actual good china (which is incredibly durable) for less than you could pick up a new set of Pioneer Woman stoneware at Walmart. 

So I did. 

Then on other days I would pick up something that would go along with it like cut glass vases or tablecloths and maybe some drapes to match. So it went while raising babies and pinching pennies. It became a contest with myself to see how little I could spend and how rarely I would need to buy new. Today the house looks respectable and warm, if not cutting edge. I could probably change that.  I have thought about changing that.  Always, the money that it would cost seems better spent elsewhere.   That and the children don't want anything touched.  At all.  Ever.  

So, no 90's shaming 'k?  In the end it's such a blessing to have a home to care for and pretty things to fill it with – especially for next to nothing. So very many people don't and we have no idea how long we will be blessed.  It was all those thoughts that led me to unsubscribe from several design feeds today as I was ruthlessly whittling down my neglected and overflowing inbox.  It felt good.  Gone are the reminders of decorative roads not chosen.  I admire them.  They are lovely.  Still, they aren't our home.  

Those of you who like mixed-up thrift store finds, who think Laura Ashley was the bomb, or you know, who were just wanting to get on with the pillows, please disregard my free association rambling there.  Here's the pics. : ) 

I threw in the pumpkin because I am swapping these out seasonally.

Outside: It is sunny and cold but has not snowed in several days. We have been able to walk/run outdoors since the roads are clear. The dogs needed this. 

Wearing: Layers.  Lots of them.   See above. 

Watching:  Movies.  It's been a long vacation after all.  I ended up really liking The Martian, both because he "scienced the ___" out of his situation and because of his final thoughts - 

"At some point, everything's gonna go south on you and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem and you solve the next one, and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home."

Really, this is life for all of us, everywhere.  Sooner or later life goes south.  You either wallow or you roll up your sleeves and start to problem solve.  

From the kitchen: There has been a lot of food since we were blessed to have 9 of 10 kids here for a week plus our awesome co-inlaws and I am pleased to say there was nary a kitchen disaster the whole time. Can we get a round of applause?  And now since it is the new year and my husband got a FitBit we have been back to our more paleo roots.  Working on some new menus for the new year.

Reading: Midwives.  It was a thrift store pick up that has proven to be a page turner.  I don't read a lot of new fiction but will say the story line has been intriguing so far.  It wasn't until several chapters in that I realized the author was a male Chris and not a female.  This came as quite a surprise since the story is told through the voice of the daughter and it was totally convincing to me.  

Around the house: Christmas decor coming down sometime this coming week.  My goal is then to get through any box that was not unpacked.  There are a few left, mostly books and old schoolwork.  This is doable.  After that we have some furniture and bathroom cabinets to refinish.  Do-ability to be determined. 

From the learning room: Board games over the break.  So many games.  A new favorite is Timeline.  It amazed me how big a hit this was for the younger and the older kids. 

Creating: Sewing projects!  The machine came out to mend some pants for one son.  That led to several skirts.  Now working on some seasonal throw pillows. I scoured the local thrift stores for seasonal linens all December and managed to find a few nice placemats made from tapestry fabric – otherwise known as poor man's needlepoint.  Two sewn together make a perfect pillow.  If you like that Nell Hill, English country, or granny chic look this works. Trust me.  I'll take pictures. 

A picture from the week: the face of 10yo boy when 27yo brother agrees to Nerf tag before breakfast.  There were peals of laughter as they hid and chased and climbed over the furniture.  And the kitchen counter…

Because Christmas is not a day but a season, we save some projects to do throughout the twelve days between Christmas and Epiphany.  It both spreads out the fun and cuts down on the pressure to "do it all" ahead of time when time is often in short supply. With gifts purchased and exchanged, cards sent (or peace made about the cards not being sent as the case was this year), and feasting planned and executed, we could easily kick back and spend an afternoon assembling a gingerbread village. 

This year we were able to share this time with our daughter-in-law and her mother. We consider ourselves blessed to have gained a whole new family and good friends when our children married. 

Gingerbread tips?

1) It did not save time to use a kit. The icing did not do the job well and the gingerbread was not nearly as good to eat and the icing bags split. Next year we will go back to making our own.  Which means, of course, we will go back to convincing Alannah to make gingerbread and royal icing for us.  : ) 

2) It is best to assemble the house foundation ahead of time and let it sit 'til the afternoon to decorate. By then the walls are securely fixed together.  This all means less bad words to stifle.  Major perk. 

All bundled up for a stroll through Salt Lake City by Christmas light. 

Magic.