O Lord, what is it to me whether I feel or do not feel, whether I am in darkness or in light, whether I have joy or suffering, when I can be recollected in the light created in my by Your words?
– Divine Intimacy, (Low Sunday)
Outside my window… We have been watching the pair of these (I really tried to figure out what "these" were, MacBeth and Theresa! I really did. The efield guide is still going…) who have lived in the little cluster of trees which stand bravely between house and road. They are busy again making nests and picking through the paddock grass early morning and early evening. I couldn't get a pic through the window so I snuck out to the yard where they engaged me in a lively game of chase. They run fast <g> Anyway, before long they will take up their post and begin scolding and swooping furiously at our heads when we go to check mail. It's their job. Approach at your own peril.
I am thinking… about grace. A lot. It is a gloriously impossible thing to understand when you are swimming in it and KNOW it is not by your own doing and maddeningly elusive when lacking.
I am
thankful for… sisters (religious) who surprised us with a visit last week and the fact that we were ready to entertain them with ten minutes notice. There are perks to having the house this tidy!
I am wearing… Aw man. I could lie. You wouldn't know anyway. But I'll just say it – my jammies. Been up and down with preschooler bad dreams and baby nursing and those aforementioned pesky coyotes and have not embraced the morning yet. Yawn.
I am reading… I had planned to pass on We Were Soldiers Once and Young by Harold Moore which had been part of dhs professional development reading list. It moved as far as the kitchen island where I grabbed it over a lunch break and that was that. Asher is reading it now. Although I admit I read through the whole section that dealt with the home front/aftermath and he is reading the whole 'at the front' section. So, hey, between us we covered the whole thing lol. I was completely in tears fwiw and I had already seen the movie.
Towards health and wellness… I am Walking My Belly Flat. At least that is what Leslie Sansome tells me. She hasn't steered me wrong yet. It is the one fitness routine that I have kept up for many years. I am officially the same size and weight as I was when I was in high school now so there is recovery from multiple pregnancies. (though my babies were not born closer than 20mo apart so factor that in) Still, things have um, reorganized, a bit. Hoping the spot work pulls it that belly back into place.
Pondering these words.. From Ethan Jones, whose family I looked up after a TLC special and discovered have a story even more fascinating than having a bunch of babies at once.
(regarding the whole premise that 'God doesn't give us more than we can handle.' Right.. ; ))
"Here is how I see it – God does not trust us…he knows us all too well for that! He knows our abilities, he knows our talents, and he knows our weaknesses and he also knows that we are just about guaranteed to screw up most of what he asks of us. And he is perfectly ok with that. What I believe is that, knowing our inabilities and our fears and our weaknesses, God intentionally gives us challenges that are way above our pay grade. Way, way, way, way above it in many cases! Do you really believe that God would test us just to confirm for himself that he knew we could handle it all along? Again, I’m no expert, but I do not believe this is how it works. Rather, I believe he tests us in order to force our hand, to create circumstances in our lives which cause us to make the decision, one way or the other. Do we leave our own ambitions and judgments and understanding behind us and lean on him like we have never leaned before? Or instead do we continue to do things our way and shoulder the load with no guiding hand from above?"
Yep. that is pretty much my take too!
Around the house… If we were a radio station our motto would be "All Clean, All Day" NOT because I am a superior human being but because the house is on the market. Does require superhuman effort to have every room ready for viewing every day and not a lot else can happen. Dust is accumulating SOMEplace as I type… : P
One of my
favorite things… Late night talks with my
husband. That seems to be our big daily decompress lately, sitting in
the dark hush and pouring out our thoughts.
From my picture journal…
It's an Asher thing, you probably wouldn't understand ; )
Colleen Hammond shared the directions for these iced cookies. I think the whole ticket is this – icing not frosting. So pretty. Never would have guessed they were so easy.
It is time for the great lenten silence in this space, and in my heart. I thought I would leave you with this song.
It isn't always the way we would have chosen, is it?
Have a most blessed lent, wherever the journey leads.
Abandoned homestead nearby…
'Cause I am! I have long admired Cheryl's home management. She has shared inspiring stories of decluttering and simplification on her blog. She recently started a second blog dedicated to her family's journey towards minimalism. You can read her story here.
I think the common stereotypical minimalist is a single person or small family. The truth is we large families may stand to gain the most from steps towards living with less. Most of us would like to spend the majority of our time enjoying our children but feel bogged down with all the stuff that comes with them, or at least what our culture has led us to believe accompanies them. People like Cheryl challenge those assumptions. I look forward to following her less-is-more adventure.
I am going to hit a couple questions real quick today. No time to construct a thoughtful essay but I don't want these to get away from me as things are prone to doing.
Q: I have been looking to some of the Waldorf resources for inspiration – rhythms, stories, etc. However… I worry about the Church's teachings on avoiding reading New Age resources. I want the inspiration without the underlying beliefs of Waldorf. Any advice on reading these resources for the good and leaving the rest?
A: I outlined my take on Waldorf inspired learning here. Fairy tales and literature, simple natural food and toys, natural fibers, handwork, sane daily rhythms, music and lovely art are not Steiner discoveries. They are the stuff of healthy living from the beginning of time until our own, which has sadly lost sight of the mainstays of life. I use the term Waldorf because sadly, they are one of the few groups in our day who embrace these practices. Many Montessorians and unschoolers share appreciation for these things as well but the truth is, googling Waldorf is most likely to net you some of the best resources.
I think it is entirely possible to glean these wonderful things and never dabble into the man's theology, just as I have gleaned from Charlotte Mason and do not adopt her religion, which in many ways is as different from my own as Steiner's. The lifestyle of Maria Montessori who was Catholic as I am was not necessarily more like my own than either of the above. She approached learning from a scientific point of view and her own son was raised by others, ideas totally foreign to mine.
Take what blesses your family. Leave the rest. Look for ways to incorporate the old paths (not New Age paths) into your days. Bake together. Make music. Tell your stories. Play with paint. Best part is, you need not spend a cent. You tell your OWN stories, you make music with your voice and hands, you relish simple foods like steaming rice and oatmeal. Sleep regularly, clean regularly. Keep it simple. Love much. It then does not really matter what you call it.
Some of the best resources with the least overt mention of anthroposophy in my opinion are Beyond the Rainbow Bridge, Mitten Strings for God, and Donna Simmons' materials. Simplicity Parenting is written to the nonWaldorf parent but incorporates the best of these practices. Waldorf Curriculum has a number of free resources.
Q: Can you tell me about the transition verses? Where can I find them?
A: The best visual for most of us today is the big purple dinosaur. What did he do when things got messy and it was time to move on? You're humming already aren't you? "Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do your share." We can take a cue there and do as many Montessori and Waldorf teachers do. Instead of cajoling and pleading (which I assure you NEVER happens in MY house…. ; )) we can give a sign like lowering the lights or singing a signal tune like that one. Surf for songs for saying goodbye or time to leave, bedtime songs, and bath songs and nursery rhymes. It is much less confrontational to sing or rhyme the little ones into the next thing. Also lowers mom's stress level. Its hard to be mad while singing. Though not entirely impossible ; )
Q: I am struggling with defining "treasures" verses keeping EVERY piece of paper they create.
A: Peter Walsh suggests photographing each 'treasure'. Put the newest on display in a special place (ie not squished onto the last spot on the fridge with all of last year's 'treasures') for a time and then let it go. Send it to a grandparent, godparent, Dad's office, or truly let it GO. You can store the very best flat work in an art portfolio if you like. You have a record of the work done and the progress made. You have validated and applauded the effort without bogging down yourself and the artist in an ever growing mountain of paper.
Remember, Peter would also say that if it is REALLY a treasure that is evidenced by the special care and place of honor you give it. Treasures are treasures in part due to their rarity and uniqueness. Quantity is necessarily the opposite.
Q: I am intrigued by your notebooks. Can you tell me more?
A: It is really so simple there is not much to tell. On a new page in the composition book I (or the child) record the day's assignments. All the work is completed right there on the following pages. They do a math assignment, an English exercise, copy a verse of scripture, record their science information. We notate the oral work done. All right there.
The alternative is to have separate subject notebooks. This is perfectly acceptable but it was cumbersome for me and them. This way we have one thing to keep track of at a time and one thing to show Dad. When the boys went to work with Dad recently while I had an appt he was thrilled to be able to see at a glance exactly what they were doing and could easily jump in and help. It would have been a different scenario if they had to lug 5 notebooks around. We just wouldn't have done school that day. In a large active family it is too easy to just not have school many days. This arrangement makes it very simple for us to do some concentrated study everyday regardless of what else is happening. And a lot happens ; )
We have one separate binder for illustrations or special projects. It is more realistic to think we will have a few illustrations for each subject by year's end than that we will have full completed books for many subjects each yr. If you can't seem to do them, then maybe it will be some comfort to know we cannot either. I am not sure I really WANT to. (See last question and answer for reasons.)
Ok for anyone out there wondering, "what HAVE they been doing all week," here you have it. And you probably weren't, but husband (who has been in Atlanta) likely has. So here's the wrap-up honey. : )
— 1 —
We have many feet of new pipe in the back of the house at this writing. I know this for certain being that there is no drywall to block the view and all…. This current week's work came to a halt when they ran out of piping. They will be back Monday.
Probably.
— 2 —
Two lovely daughters headed out for a dinner dance with their homeschool group a bit ago. This is Moira's first time attending. Her brother's are struggling. Join the club, boys.
Join the club. : )
— 3 —
Had a strange incident with one teenager last night. I saw some recent thrifted finds in the store bag yet and tossed them in the wash. Unnamed teen person noticed this unfolding and had a wee bit of a meltdown in front of the washer. Hello? Apparently those were not "my" clothes and, really, could I just let said person wash them? Ummm ok… I say, slowly backing from the laundry room.
Just going on record here saying that if anyone wants to come wash something of mine by surprise I WILL NOT fight you. I will hug you. I will make you chocolate cake. I am good with it. I swear.
— 4 —
Since the house is torn asunder anyway I am purging everything that has yet to be done. The public view has been good. I am determined though to clean inside and out, the seen and unseen. It's all metaphorical and deep – in my head anyhow. Probably a lot gets lost in the translation at the moment.
When I got started digging through the storage boxes, I remembered why I have storage boxes. There is a lot more than stuff stored in there, memories that for years have seemed better kept closed up and neatly shelved.
Such a job. I start sorting school papers and remember big boys who used to write on dotted lines. I unearth letters bearing my grandmother's birthday wishes, my late father's report cards. Rose petals from long ago bouquets slip out onto the floor. It is tempting to close the lids. Maybe another time? But no, now is that time and this job will be done. It is time to sift, to remember even when it hurts, and then decide what I am keeping and what I am letting go.
It is time.
— 5 —
ever have one of these days?
yeah, me too
— 6 —
I have linked to this once before I think but it came to mind again this week while purging:
"Respect for the gifts that God gave us is reflected in keeping things clean, orderly and in good repair. We are so overwhelmed with stuff, that we can't possibly respect it all, and we really just want it out of our face because our inner conscience is telling us that we must respect it, but our logical side is saying, "I can't possibly give all of these things proper respect!" – Meg Lund
Bottom line? Don't have more stuff than you can realistically care for and honor. (must tattoo this to my forehead…)
— 7 —
Finally, thinking alot about permanence – what is, what isn't, what should be, and what should not be. One of my problems with Waldorf practices over the years has been the fleeting quality of the art. The beeswax figures are for the moment. At the end of the day they melt away again ready to take new forms another time. Chalkboard art, almost painfully beautiful. Chalk? That rubs right away? It was a hard thing to wrap my mind around.
But now I am coming to terms with the fact that we cannot, canNOT save it all. And further, even if we could, we are in fact taking the magic away by allowing it to become a burden rather than a gift. It is ok to hold some things more loosely – experiences, things. Like flowers, they are all the more delightful for brief appearance they make.
With that in mind I share these lovely chalkboard drawings from a first grade classroom.
Starry Sky Journal 