little things

Aug 2018 lilies web (1 of 1)

I am sitting at the table in my bedroom (not the bedroom above, which one sister just passed down to another) with the windows thrown open to catch the Indian summer breeze we are getting more often now.  It is not yet cool here in the foothills, but there are some hints that autumn is indeed creeping around the corner.  

School is back in full swing. There are no longer any little people around the table.  All my students can read fluently.  They capably perform all four math operations.  Instead of phonics we now go over latin verbs and bisect angles together.  Although just a few years ago I had no clear vision for how this stage of home learning would look I can happily report it is rich and satisfying, like a daily retreat for Mom.  Big kids and big ideas.  

This morning finds me, mug in hand, waiting for the highschool football player who was up and out before dawn for his Thursday morning walk through at the stadium, as they do each week ahead of the JV and varsity games. Each week I say my silent prayers that the boys make it through another game without serious injury.  

As the years roll by I am reminded that it is rarely those dangers you imagine that are most likely to strike, however.  How many times I have told my children.  Those fears that haunt you, the ones you dread and wonder over, they seldom come to pass.  It is the completely unexpected that blindsides us and alters life in permanent ways.  

The other evening I was sifting through the images of home here: dinners in progress, drops of rain falling off the oak leaves, children laughing in the backseat, the dog pulling on the leash. I wondered, is it appropriate it is to share the mundane when there are big decisions to be made, serious suffering around us?  Does this appear superficial? Does it imply a disregard or disrespect for meatier issues?  This morning I realized these images represent the strategy my grandmother modeled for tackling the big things.  It is, in fact, the way I too move through my days now.  Those little things are the stuff that keep us grounded in the now, keep us from losing our heads entirely, propel one foot in front of the other.  They don't reveal the sum total of our experiences and trials.  They do represent the very ways we navigate it all.  

We arrange lilies in a vase, season the chops, walk the dog, read a few pages from the novel we are nursing.  We notice the cream swirling in the cup, the way the light catches the tendrils of steam winding upwards.  Then we take a deep breath and move forward, haltingly or with gusto, as the day may go.

Big kids, big ideas, big challenges, big life – maybe they all call for renewed appreciation of the little things that sustain us. 

tying heartstrings

Hair rollers

"Mom can you put my hair up and roll it tonight?" she asked very hopefully.   I did.  It took all of 5 minutes but when we were done we were both smiling.  

There is no shortage of advice on how to get the chores done, how to discipline, how to do more and more and more work efficiently.  I am a realist.  It is inevitable after ten children.  There are things we must do. There are problems to solve. 

In the 90's the catch phrase "tying heartstrings" popped up. It stuck with me. We can't solve problems unless we are operating from a base of affection and genuine good will.  When we are, there seem to be fewer problems to solve.   The purpose of the problem solving is also ultimately not about greater productivity, but improved relationships. As one of my other favorite catch phrases go, "The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship."

(image by Becky Higgins)

Time, which seemed to creep along at a snail's pace when the children were all smaller, now leaps along with great strides. A dear friend and I were musing over loved ones gone, loved ones failing, and our own mortality.  We shared our regret over irritations and misunderstandings and renewed our resolve to work harder on patience, gentleness, and empathy, because here is the cold hard truth of the thing: you don't know how many chances you'll get.  One of them will be the last one.  Kids grow up.  People move away.  Things happen. 

It costs so little to bless a person.  Here's to saying yes when we can. 

Some older essays on the topic:

Tying Family Heartstrings

50 Simple Ways to Bond

Tying Heartstrings

 

 

Our Lady’s Birthday

It was late in the evening by the time we all sat down around the table tonight and not all of us were here.  Still, the girls and I decided to set the table with the red transferware to go along with the roses and rose covered cake we found.  

Sept 2018 mary bday web (1 of 1)

Fr Weiser, SJ (via Catholic Culture) shares:

Since September 8 marks the end of summer and beginning of fall, this day has many thanksgiving celebrations and customs attached to it. In the Old Roman Ritual there is a blessing of the summer harvest and fall planting seeds for this day.

The winegrowers in France called this feast "Our Lady of the Grape Harvest". The best grapes are brought to the local church to be blessed and then some bunches are attached to hands of the statue of Mary. A festive meal which includes the new grapes is part of this day.

In the Alps section of Austria this day is "Drive-Down Day" during which the cattle and sheep are led from their summer pastures in the slopes and brought to their winter quarters in the valleys. This was usually a large caravan, with all the finery, decorations, and festivity. In some parts of Austria, milk from this day and all the leftover food are given to the poor in honor of Our Lady’s Nativity.

Excerpted from The Holyday Book 

Morning Time Lately

Timeline

The new school year is beginning – or has begun – for most people around the country.  We have had a soft start consisting mostly of  "Morning Time +" meaning we pray, read, discuss, do math, practice dance/music etc, and do our chores.  It has made for some solid days with a reasonably tidy house, appointments kept, needs met, and awesome conversation had.  More will follow but it's a very gratifying start.

Cindy Rollins' reflection from a few years back rings so true here.  Morning time, done right, is an organic process.  It grows naturally.  Please don't think of it as another curricular checklist item.  Better to think about how you naturally catch up with good friends.  Do you share recipes or patterns?  Maybe you pass particularly inspiring books back and forth?  There might be articles or quotes you share with some you know will appreciate them. Ideally, as our children grow, some of our best sharing happens with the fascinating people around our table.  You wouldn't pummel your luncheon guests with data and it won't feel any better when they are your kids.  

Start small.  Read them your favorite stories, the ones you really get into.  Show them work by your favorite artist.  Listen to a rendition of a musical piece that moved you.  Maybe share a cool tidbit about the composer while you are at it.  Watch a youtube tutorial together.  And here is the thing: it isn't about chronology or themes.  It's about genuine, thoughtful conversation.  It is about learning to consider new topics or positions and to express your feelings about them.  It's cross-training in your homeschool.  You can't screw this up. You won't "miss" anything. As she says,

"Stop planning your school and go do it.

Read a chapter of a book to your children.  

Now. 

There is tremendous power in doing something for a short period of time consistently."

Timeline
Timeline

 

notes:

We use plain heavy paper sketchbooks for our timelines.  As we read a chapter in A Child's History of the World (currently) they draw or print a clipart picture of one thing to paste inside.  

The graffiti book was EXCELLENT for Socratic discussion.  It has lots of open ended questions which help students consider what art is and does not lead them to a particular position.  

Not pictured is the saint of the day book, the next Ralph Moody title, and a volume of Longfellow's work.  We read "Evangeline" this summer and I predictably wept at the end.  Now we are enjoying "Hiawatha."  As it turns out our elderly houseguest is enjoying our reading and discussion time most of all.  

 

 

a foretaste of heaven

Aug 2018 embroidery web (1 of 1)

"I believe that a godly home is a foretaste of heaven.

Our homes, imperfect as they are, must be a haven from the chaos outside.

They should be a reflection of our eternal home, where troubled souls find peace, weary hearts find rest, hungry bodies find refreshment, lonely pilgrims find communion, and wounded spirits find compassion."

-Jani Ortlund

I've always felt this deep in my heart.  It is what has sustained me as a homemaker in an era where there is not only disregard but often disdain for this vocation.  There is nothing like seeing your home through the eyes of a 'lonely pilgrim' to really convict you about the power that a starched tablecloth and a vase of flowers on a nightstand can have.  They are more than decorations.  I understand that better now.  They are little messages to those who enter, saying, "You are welcome here, you are safe, you are important to us." 

Home is my love language.  

coming soon

Jul 2018 Moira shower web (2 of 5)

One of the highlights of the summer was showering our daughter and son-in-law as they prepare for their first baby's arrival in a few weeks.  Several of us were able to travel from Utah and Colorado to be together.  The aunt's and uncle's-to-be are beside themselves with anticipation. Moira and her husband have lots of family nearby who have been a tremedous blessing to them as they have begun their lives together.  They are so lucky to have them! 


Jul 2018 Moira shower web (5 of 5)

This is a whole starting over for us, a definitive next chapter.  In so many ways it is not unlike my own first pregnancy.  So many daydreams, trying to wrap your head around what is coming, trying to predict what may happen and how you might feel.  All that imaginary role play we do ahead of big changes, trying on the new life for size.  

Jul 2018 Moira shower web (5 of 5)

And just like it was when I was expecting my own first baby, the end of my musing as an expectant grandmother leaves me with only guesses and wondering.  I can't know what this will feel like, though people try to tell me.  I can only wonder at my new role and how I will do in it.  I am not at all sure how to do it well from so far away much less how one could ever inspire the sort of devotion my own grandmother did.  How DID she do it, I ask myself now.  

Jul 2018 Moira shower web (3 of 5)

Perhaps the one thing different at this time in life is having a long history of things falling together as they should.  There is less a need to know beforehand.  Somehow the answers will be birthed along with this tiny person. 

Jul 2018 Moira shower web (5 of 5)

There is much more to tell about the long road that brought us here and eventually I will.   I can say this though, watching my daughter already owning her motherhood, researching her options, and making educated decisions for her baby leaves me in awe.  She is not a carbon copy of me.  She does things her own way.  Many things she does much better than I. A welcome gift time has given is that different choices don't bother me so much as an older woman.  I am only inspired with profound respect seeing her fierce determination to do her very best.  

It was probably youthful arrogance that led me to subconsciously believe the most monumental part of life was the early climb.  Year after year of expanding everything – doubling recipes, replacing stock pots, bigger vehicles, more bedrooms.  The dailiness of it was all-consuming and I think it led to a sort of myopia about what would come after all that.  It seemed as though whatever was coming next could never be as tremendous as what was.  For some years after my own last baby it was difficult to imagine any other way of life ever being as good. 

I am not "there" yet to report back but I can say the trailers for this upcoming show are very promising.  

Shower silly

 

Preserving the summer

Aug 2018 tree hand web (1 of 1)

 Mrs. Sharp's Traditions closes out August with an entry about preserving summer and looking ahead to fall.  She suggests a last summer project of making jelly.  We have some lovely little fruit trees eeking their existence out on this foothills plot of land but usually the deer get the biggest share of the harvest.  So, while I might daydream of shelves lined with jelly jars, the truth is there has not been time this summer for very many leisurely domestic activities such as that anyway.  Lest we slip into melancholy over the state of things she quickly adds this reminder:

"None of us today, dear Reader, has time to do everything – whether it is preserving jam or memories. When we realize that setting priorities is not a compromise but the way to find the time to accomplish what's really important for ourselves and our family, it's easy to preserve precious moments of daily life to be recalled and savored in the months and years to come."

This echoes a word picture my friend Suzanne shared today from her reading.  She said among all the balls we are trying to juggle it's critical to discern which are rubber and which are glass.  The short answer there is our children's hearts are glass.  The rest are rubber.  

There are many things languishing on my bulging to do lists. That list is full of rubber balls, however. The summer has been spent filling up my heart and those of the people around me, including one very vulnerable soul whom we have been blessed to have enter our lives.  That all took time. This past week we have been printing test charts and tweaking as we step gently into the fall school/work/activities routine.  We are easing back in to the school year while still relishing these warm warm days of ripening fruit and cooler nights full of cricket song. 

As I work out our priorities for the upcoming busy season I am reminding myself it is not the checked task list that we will cherish later.  It's the precious moments of daily life, the in between minutes.  It's how we feel in those that will be remembered later. 

 

June Daybook

Outside: Summer temperatures slow rolled but they are here now.  It is still very green which is a wonderful treat in the mountain west. We have discovered a young cherry tree at the edge of the woods which appears to have grown up near a larger mature tree.  It has a cheerful sprinkling of little red cherries this year, still a bit sour.  

Jun 2018 day web (1 of 1)-4

Reading: I just finished Brideshead Revisited the day before last and am in the throes of book hangover.  It was an achingly beautiful book.  Though it was quite sobering in some respects it was also encouraging and helps me consider a much longer view.  Another author I put off far too long.  Trying to decide on what is next.  

Waugh

Thinking About: Much.  I was musing during Brideshead over how much longer most things take than I expected as a younger women.  The hard things anyway.  That whole "it's a marathon, not a sprint," saying has taken on new meaning in middle age.  

From the Learning Room:

Jun 2018 day web (1 of 1)-3

The girls have picked up the Key To Geometry books (link in sidebar) and are working through them.  We are having Morning Time every day and continuing an abbreviated school day due to upcoming travel.   Current stack looks like this….

Morning

The first poem in the Longfellow volume is Evangeline.  Sniff! I read it the first time to oldest children when we lived here in the 90's.  I remember crying and fully expect a repeat experience.  

Around the House:  As part of my continuing education effort I decided to learn to refinish furniture properly this summer.  We have some old pieces that needed serious work.  I have painted furniture before but learned the hard way what happens when you skip some of the instructions.  Turns out there actually ARE essential steps.  This time we got legit with a hand held sander and stripper fluid and have experimented with various wire brushes and sandpaper grit counts.  It was low risk project since the pieces were all free at some point in the past.  It has been hard physical work doing it "right" but also extremely gratifying.  Not gonna lie, this feels something like a super power.  

Dresser 3

Dresser 3

Dresser 3

From the kitchen:

Dresser 2

This tastes far better than you may think.  I've been lightly steaming collard greens and using them as wraps.  Super cheap and easy.  There is chicken salad inside these if I am remembering correctly but we have also done tuna and egg salad.  All good.  

Creating: The girls and I have pulled the sewing machine out to cut down some thrifted women's clothing to fit a tween who is all legs.  So far so good.  

Family Stuff:  The man of the house had a very happy birthday.  

Jun 2018 day web (1 of 1)-3

Jun 2018 day web (1 of 1)-3

I hope summer is off to a wonderful start wherever you are.  (Or winter for my Australian friends.)  It's been good to sit and gather all these little bits and pieces in one place again.  For a time I had been busier on popular social media.  It's so very convenient there as apps on the phone.  A thought can be tapped out as words almost as soon as you've thought it.  Perhaps that is not always a good thing. Morale suffers on a steady diet of contention so I am regrouping once more. Time to inhale all this sunshine and steady on with these many projects. 

To my husband

Dad (1 of 1)-6

Thank you,

For organizing birthday games,

For dressing up at Halloween, 

For helping with taxes and insurance forms, 

For shopping for first cars, 

For tying ties,

For making walls pink or taupe or gray or whatever would be SO cool, 

For hauling mulch and shoveling snow alongside, 

For showing them eclipses and aquariums and oceans and cathedrals,

For leading the rosary – even when we are tired,

For roasting by the grill, 

For coordinating schedules,

For always thinking "the kids would like that" and then making it happen.  

Happy Father's Day and Happy Birthday soon to come.  We are so glad you were born and so grateful for all you the ways you show love. 

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“Beautiful is the man who leaves a legacy, that of shared love and life.

It is he who transfers meaning, assigns significance and conveys in his loving touch the fine art and gentle shaping of a life.

This man shall be called, Father.”

Stella Payton