I trust in Thee

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When the same message comes to you through many messengers you begin to understand that it is important and it behooves you to take note.  I admit I am a slow study on this one and it has occurred to me in recent weeks that it may be because of an imperfect understanding of some key points.  

I have read Trustful Surrender several times and have been convicted that God does work all for good for those who love Him.  It has been driven home lately however that God wants more than reluctant resignation to His holy will.  It is not enough to say essentially, "Fine," to God. While I have gotten better about resigning myself to the will of God I have certainly fallen short on embracing it at different times in my life.  I have been one to fret, to panic, to fear, to be dismayed. 

A verse I have turned over and over is 1 Pet 3:6

"Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

I have shared this verse with women friends over the years while encouraging them to let their husbands lead.  However I am starting to also really focus on the adjoining message given here exhorting us not to be "afraid with any amazement." Other translations read "not fearing any disturbance" or "not letting anything terrify you."   I read that as "not freaking out." <g>  I assume it applies to ALL areas of life. 

The Silence of Mary recalled the many mysterious events Mary lived through – the Annunciation, the Presentation of Our Lord,  finding Him in the temple.  Always they were accompanied by prophetic yet enigmatic words to her.  He points out that Mary is said to have "pondered these in her heart."  The reaction is always the same, barely noteworthy in its calm, measured response.  Faced with the enormity of it all, and without demanding to understand completely, she consents to His will again and again. Mary's responses are significant not because of their wordy insight but because of her willingness to consent without demanding explanations and guarantees. It is peaceful surrender. Complete trust. The kind I very often lack. 

My responses are not historically marked by contemplative calm. More often, vocal objection reigns.  I always felt if I could see where God was going with a situation I could trust more.  But that isn't trust is it?  A friend who was instrumental in leading us back into the faith many years ago used to say, "Faith is only faith when it is all you are left hanging onto."  She was right.  Faith simply trusts, it does not require full disclosure from God. 
 
Kieran was reading about St. Felix last week, who earned the nickname Brother Deo Gratias because his first and last responses to every situation were, "Thanks be to God."    That is my goal, to be able to look every situation in the eye and say, first and always, thank you God, for this comes by Your hand to bless me.  I have found that the old 'fake it til you make it' adage works here.  Saying this reminds me, even if it comes before the feeling.

The bible says the Lord is not in the wind, nor the earthquake, but rather He is in the whisper. (1Kings 19)  We are told to be still to know God. This tells me I will not align myself with His will in a tempest of emotion but by quiet surrender.  In peace. I do not know all, yet I do not need to know all.  


An Act of Trust  

 

 My Lord and my God, I believe all that Thou hast ever taught . . . 

There is nothing harder for me to believe than Thy personal love for one so sinful and so worthless as I am, but I do believe it, Lord, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I believe that Thy love for me is not an affair of yesterday; “Thou, hast loved with an everlasting love,” and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 
 
I believe Thy love for me is as tender as a Mother's love, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I believe Thou hast planned everything that shall ever happen to me, lovingly and wisely, and therefore, O Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place all my trust in Thee. 

 I will never seek pleasure forbidden by Thee, because Thou knowest what is bad for me, and what is good, and I 
trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will always pray, “May Thy Holy Will be done in all things,” because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 
 I will accept the crosses of life, as I accept the joys, with a grateful heart, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will not be worried or anxious about anything, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 I will never lose heart in my efforts to be good, because I trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus.  

 However, weak or sinful I may be, I will never doubt Thy mercy, because I trust in Thee,  O Sacred Heart of Jesus.

   In all my temptations,  
   In all my weaknesses,  
   In all my difficulties,  
   In all my trials,  
   In all my sorrows,  
   In every failure,  
   In every discouragement,  
   In all my undertakings,  
   In life and in death,  
   In time and eternity, 
   I place my trust in Thee, O Sacred Heart of Jesus. 

 

(Imprimatur Patrick J Hayes – July 1, 1923) 

Sacred heart


note:
I should probably add that no particular trial prompted these thoughts.  They were borne out of reading about providence, praying for those close to us,  and then stepping back to see what my own reactions say about my ability to see God in all of life.  

odd couple

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Don't ask me what this was all about.  I looked out the kitchen window and saw this:

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There was no barking, no chasing.  Just a comfortable little tete-a-tete apparently. 
 I asked Daisy what they were up to but she just did this….

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….like I was supposed to understand.  Silly me.  

He’s off!

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Brendan's training wheels came off this week sorta by accident.  One broke.  He couldn't wait for new ones though.  Yesterday he asked Alannah to help him and within five minutes flat he was rolling down the drive on his own. By the time Moira and I got back from our walk I could the boys calling "Hey Brendan, wait up!"

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Aren't they a study in orange?  And yes, I know the boy has no shoes again.  He followed us outside when I was taking pictures of Tess, got the idea for a push, and it all happened literally in the blink of an eye.

funnel cloud

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Despite having lived in tornado alley for much of our lives I have not actually put eyes on a funnel cloud myself until yesterday.  As a summer storm rolled past I brought the children inside and checked the sky, keeping one patch of troublesome-looking clouds in view.  Sure enough a small funnel grew and began to rotate.  It was absorbed into the bigger clouds and then grew again only to break up entirely as the system moved east and over the prairie.  Here is a little glimpse:

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Simple Woman’s Daybook

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Daybook icon

I went to check Peggy's site to see if she was linking Daybooks again and saw this:


"I am feeling… a bit looney after looking over too many links of late…must delete about half of those blogs, especially the ones that leave me feeling hyper by soo many links in their entries, not-up-to-date with so many crafts, sewing and whatnots they are doing or less than what I am because of all the "showiness"…so, a new mantra or perhaps revised one for my blog takes place…ah, slow, simple, quiet, restful are watch words I want to show here at the simple woman blog."

I agree.  Slow, simple, quiet, restful is what I am after.   Good watchwords for the new schoolyear as well. And we are moving slowly this week. So slowly I am not even properly formatting this entry. : / 

I am wearing….. heather gray yoga pants and charcoal tee.  Still have my glasses on even.  Trust me this is not a visual you want today. The next paragraph explains why. 

I am thinking about….. In sickness and in health. But last week mostly in sickness.   I was flattened with a massive viral infection.  Completely, pitifully flattened.  I summoned all the oomph I had to get more Olive Leaf Extract and Grapefruit Seed Extract and boy was that a good idea.  36 hrs of misery and then it was like the sun came out.  Still haven't hit 100% but I have been functional and productive at least. Some of the kids have had it but not as bad and  this has helped.  Must buy boxes of this stuff….

One of my favorite things….  Skates.  Its all about skates this week.  We live on a ranch.  We have a gravel drive leading to a less graveled dirt road. What do our boys want to do all day and night?  Skate.  Two have roller blades and one has had his heart set on a skate board. That wish came true.  The tiled sunporch has seen a lot of action in recent days. There is a city park near the piano teacher's home. We have been taking lunch there and letting them skate on actual concrete on piano day.  They are a cheap date I tell you. : )   Happy as clams.   Husband was pretty amused to see Mama give it a whirl too – with a helper alongside. (And the gray yoga pant sick-day uniform)  It is possible I may be short of oxygen since being sick…. 

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I am reading….  The Secret of the Rosary and the Crate and Barrel catalog.  Seriously.   


In the learning room…… We are prepping to start school again.   We have to file our paperwork this week and go through the grade level boxes to see what must be filled in.   

The Montessori trays stand empty. We will do something about those this week. Funny, I went looking for my preschool books to have the girls help me and read some of them in the process.  All I could find (since dear daughter #1 shelved for me earlier this summer : ))  was the Hainstock books.  I sat with Abbie last night and read through the preschool book again and thought, you know what, despite the plethora of web sites and resources available, I STILL think this is the best thing I have ever owned.  Simple, quiet, restful. Deliberate but not frantic.  That is what I get from Elizabeth Hainstock.  

I plan to have the girls help and we will begin to restock our boxes and trays using the Hainstock ideas.  They will have to be on higher, by-request-only, shelves this year because look what happened this weekend :

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Abbie, Abbie, Abbie!   You are a baby!  Why do you think you must be upright as you begin 9 months and we begin school again? <g>  And why did your mother not fix your red eye?  

Around the house…   Got four kitchen cabinets emptied and reorganized.  Go Kim. <g>  Now dusting is another story on a dirt road.  It's like shoveling while its still snowing. 

From the kitchen…. cream cheese brownies twice this weekend.  Twice they have not lasted long enough for a picture.  Take one recipe worth of brownie and one half a cheesecake recipe.  Put 2/3 brownie batter in pan, then all the cream cheese mixture, and spoon rest of brownie batter over top.  Bake at 350 til they look done LOL.   I think its like 40 minutes.  Cream cheese should be just golden but wont set hard til it cools. 

 I am hearing….. Coyotes.  Husband called down the stairs late last night  while he was putting Tess to bed and ready-ing his work clothes.  Said they sounded very close.  We have these little fuzzballs in the barn so we rushed outside to check.  

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Sure enough.  Coyote calling from the north lot. They rarely come this close but mama cat was hunting and the kittens may have been crying loud enough to draw a passing coyote's attention. They will test the water before coming in close as they avoid confrontation as a rule.  The dog chased it/them off and came home triumphant as only a ranch dog on the prowl can be.  It was quiet after that. 
We have heard them more often than not lately, though.  Had a neighbor's cow  go down (read – kick the bucket) a couple week ago.  They left it in the pasture and it is pretty much a rack of ribs now.  That must have attracted this pack.  And yes, it WAS pretty gross, that whole circle of life thing,  if eco-friendly. Ok on that sorta creepy note I better wrap up and get to work.  Hope your day is delightful. 

A picture thought I am sharing….


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(Brendan's first children's choir.  Yes he is in tennies.  We could not find his good shoes before church. Shoes, the bane of my existence ; )) 




 

Upside down cake

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With no small amount of nostalgia I was watching Alannah as she lined up pineapple rings in the cake pan and placed a cherry inside each.  It was for all the world like watching my Gram years ago.  Brendan noticed as well and wanted to know if we were making dessert.  I said yes, we are going to have pineapple upside down cake and didn't that sound good?  Brendan nodded and then was silent for a bit. He then noted very solemnly that since we would be eating on the ceiling the table would be like this (insert arm motions of table legs pointing up) and how would we stick?  

It's not easy being four.   

Or maybe its just being Brendan.  

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