make a wish
parting thoughts from the High Desert
Susan will be closing her blog down soon. If you have not printed pearls of wisdom you wish to remember from there now is the time to do so. In one of her last posts Susan left us with some final comments about home education, education in general really. She reiterates my own feelings about gentle yet responsible teaching. A few highlights:
<<Read. Think. Do. But don't overdo.>>
Enough said there. I love her emphasis on doing but not OVERdoing which is a great temptation in our day of co-op classes, unit studies, and ideology overload. Which things do we do? She answers,
"We did real things. We tried to avoid things that kept us from the real things, the good things, a true education."
This bears consideration. To flesh that out further I would warn against that which is contrived, make-work, or cumbersome in any way. Avoiding doing things out of guilt, as in, "Everyone else is…." One homeschool mom confided the other day that she felt almost guilty because her days have been running so smoothly. Instead of reveling in that harmony, she wonders if that means she ought to add more. That is a feeling many of us have had. We shouldn't. We should be zealously guarding the margin in our lives. That is healthy. That is necessary. It is dangerous to be without one.
Susan balances the creative gentle learning with this:
"..we all took it seriously. If one wants to create a learning lifestyle atmosphere, it takes a lot of work to do it. If we are home educating, then education is not to be shrugged off."
It is tempting to lose ourselves in lovely visions of children teaching themselves calculus, painting watercolors, and keeping marvelously tidy rooms while we knit and catch up on all the classics we missed. Reality is a bit messier. Habit formation and the mastery of skills take a lot of deliberate effort.
It is easy to get caught up in all the many things vying for our time and attention. Yes, we paint. We make music. We do many lovely things together. But we are deliberate as well. We are purposeful in our choices. And we "work within the reality of our situations."
What Susan, as Art Robinson and Andrew Campbell and others (see sidebar right) are sure to choose daily are reading, writing, and math. They are the big fish which should not be shrugged off. Beyond that most healthy active families will have countless opportunities to explore their worlds.
<<Besides prayer, the three most powerful tools in a homeschooling parent's toolkit are:
1. Example
2. Example
3. Example
In other words, at the most basic level of all, do as Gandhi said, and "be the change you want to see in the world.">>
This is the advice I so often wish to tattoo on my forehead. It is that simple in the end. Be what you wish them to be because they will be molded and formed in large part by the example you provide. Elaborately coordinated curriculum cannot compensate for poor example. Better to have a little with peace than plenty with strife. Do a few things well. Be loving. Be responsible. Never tell yourself that is not enough. It is everything.
wordless wednesday
Simple Woman’s Daybook June 2nd
More Daybook entries at Peggy's
For Today…
Outside my window… rain. Glorious, always welcome rain which we see so little of most of the year.
I am thinking… about love. Specifically I am thinking about the three kinds of love Fr. discussed on Sunday. He explained that there is eros, a self-seeking love. Always taking. There is filio, (or filios or whatever it was) a give and take, relationship based love. Here you give your love and affection to family, friends, neighbors etc and you hope for a return on your investment by way of loyalty, companionship, gratitude, romance and so on. Then there is agape love. As he so well described it, love with no hope of return. Not the desperate, unrequited love of tragic novels but rather truly selfless giving with no thought to "results".
I would guess most functional Christian people move past the first. Still,I suspect that many of us stall out at the second. How often do we love with no hope of the same being returned to us? How steadfast is our service or our prayers when we don't see 'progress'? How readily do we "preserve ourselves in forgetfulness" (ie eyes on our own behavior ONLY) and give ourselves wholeheartedly and equally enthusiastically to both the warm and sweet and also to the cold and bitter? Do we love the latter the way Christ did?
I am wearing… jeans, rose colored Old Navy tee, brown clogs and socks, mother of pearl drop earrings. And a rain coat. : ) Heading to the barn momentarily to meet the farrier.
I am praying… for a friend's intention, safe travel for my husband, for holiness.
One of my favorite things… walking in the rain.
From the learning rooms… math and reading mostly as we move into summer schedules, piano practice
I am thankful for… growing with my husband – growing up, growing closer, and yes growing older
From the kitchen… scrambled eggs, peaches, and natural sausage for breakfast. Homemade turkey vegetable soup from the crockpot for lunch. Dinner? Hmmm. Roast beef I think.
I am wearing… jeans, rose colored Old Navy tee, brown clogs and socks, mother of pearl drop earrings. And a rain coat. : ) Heading to the barn momentarily to meet the farrier.
I am reading…
Anne (The Life of Ven. Anne de Guigne) It isn't often a biography of a child grabs hold of me like this book has. This girl missed no opportunity to give to God without reserve and without grumbling in her short life. It shames me to think of of many such opportunities I have wasted. Today is a new day however right?I am hoping… to waste no more. Also, hoping beyond hope that the puppy (and the two year old for that matter ; )) are someday potty trained.
I am creating… more summer skirts. A new cross stitch project. Although cross stitch is now universally declared 'not cool' I decided I don't give a flying fig about that. The colors come together so richly and the learning curve is next to nil. Moreover I want to weave my faith into all I do. There is a plethora of truly
lovely cross stitch patterns available. Sadly most of the "cool" crafting projects cannot boast the same.I am praying… for a friend's intention, safe travel for my husband, for holiness.
Around the house… We have finished the first
Clean Heart, Clean Home task – the vehicle. Took a LONG time! Who knew we ate so much trail mix….. In other news, we spent all afternoon yesterday cleaning the barn, weeding around the house, and sinking railroad ties as borders. I am very pleased both with the end result and with how earnestly and willingly the children participated. Go Kids! A sorry metal shed has been torn down finally. We are making final plans for the first leg of a major remodel job.One of my favorite things… walking in the rain.
A few plans for the rest of the week… piano recital
Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…
the falls
We had been planning on heading to the falls for weeks only to wake up to a steady drizzle that morning. 
We didn't let a little rain stop us though it did stop my heart a couple times on the canyon road.
We didn't let a little rain stop us though it did stop my heart a couple times on the canyon road. 
We did most of the sight-seeing from the car windows but ventured out with umbrellas here and there.
I told Allen the next time we do that drive we are going the other direction so HE gets the view below. Whooey. Colorado has this inexplicable aversion to guard rails. Tell me I am not the only woman who slams on non-existent brakes from the passenger seat…. Yeah, that has to be annoying I am sure. Involuntary however!
Prepare Ye
The end of the day before sets the tone for the day to come. Likewise the end of the school year is the perfect time to lay the foundation for the upcoming year. We have a good ninety days to deep clean the house, select and organize materials and lay the rails of good habits in ourselves and our kids. In the coming weeks I will be revisiting my favorite resources for doing these very things.
The Clean Heart, Clean Home Challenge is a great way to begin. It will take up half of the time we have between now and the new school year. It is best not to rush it. It IS summer and we should be enjoying it. If you can take an hour or so every morning and tackle the daily challenge it can be done with time to dive into summer fun as well. There is a weekly devotional that corresponds with the challenge. If you write the weekly verse on a card for the fridge the whole family can learn several new verses this summer.
Random picture thought of the day out my bedroom window:
montessori kids’ rooms
I have so enjoyed browsing the entries in Ohdeedoh's smaller cooler kids room contest. What jumped out at me in particular was this room from Sew Liberated (formerly the Montessori by Hand blog). The mom is a Montessori directress and crafter who has just had her first child. The room was created with Montessori and Waldorf ideals in mind. It is simple, peaceful – lovely. Makes you want to chuck more 'stuff' and revel in newfound space I tell you!
shootin’ the bull
It doesn't take much to amuse us. Dh and I have been making really lame jokes over the latest local hoo-ha. Now once upon a time neighborhood squabbles might have been over who left the trash can out front too long or who didn't mow their lawn. The trash cans out our way are big ole dumpsters which are emptied twice a month however and the lawn mowers are often on four legs. The trash doesn't phase too many folks but hey, if your 'mower' wanders over to the neighbor's it IS a problem. Especially when it's a 2000 lb bull.
Neighbor A moved his heifers to a new pasture last week. Neighbor B's bull thought this was a swell move and wasted no time introducing himself – snapping several strands of barbed wire in the process. Neighbor A found this a bit too, um, 'neighborly' of him if you get my drift. ; ) He complained vigorously in fact.
Neighbor B has protested. His bull's defense? Neighbor A's heifers "enticed" him over the fence.
Oh my. I am doubled over again. Give me a sec here…….
(bwa ha ha ha!) Wiping the tears off my my face. You know we are milking this one mercilessly right? Like why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free….. yeah. I don't get out much. : )
Picture me now if you will: bull to the south and strumpet cows to the north. And we thought we moved to the country to escape this sort of disgraceful behavior.
Seriously – I love it here.
update and thank you
Several people have told me they were praying about the purse mishap yesterday. I must be more cynical than I thought because, sweet as that was, I truly didn't expect those prayers to be answered. This morning we got a call from a woman saying she had just found my purse at a Lowe's store which is across town from the Walmart it was last seen at yesterday. She left it with customer service where I picked it up when we got back into town. Amazingly enough – its completely intact, right down to the cell phone and checkbook. The credit cards don't appear to have been used.
Who can guess how that played out. Someone must have intended foul play to take it across town, but who knows, thought better of it or something. That spells God to me. Thank you for praying when I was too discouraged to do it myself. : )
First Holy Communion
It has been quite a day. I wonder if a "month of Sundays" can be inversed? As in "a Sunday that seemed like months"? Today Kieran made his First Holy Communion. That's the very good news. In fact it overshadows the rest by far. For months he has been preparing with the Sisters and at home. Today was the big day. I believe he was ready. His mother – not so much. That would be the less good news.
We have been pow-wow-ing with the other five families for a couple weeks now to be certain everything was just right. We tracked down the elusive (ok not elusive as a rule, but definitely elusive in May) white ties. We agreed upon blue suits (more on that later). We arranged for white roses for the lapels. Cake was ordered. Potluck dishes decided upon. Since it is also May, and it was our turn, we stopped at the store last night for flowers for the procession. This, after the end-of-year Boy Scout picnic. Little people were scrubbed clean and clothes were laid out.
I think I may actually have congratulated myself as we fell into bed last night on how well all the bases covered. I think I may have tempted fate right then.
This morning was all quiet productivity. Ironing was finished. Kids fed. Potluck dishes wrapped and stacked. I went upstairs for one last thing and returned to find them all in the van. Glancing at the now cleared island I joined them. There was the first mistake. With us approaching the church someone piped up and said, "Hey, did we bring the flowers?" Silence.
Allen unloaded the kids and Colin and I ran to the local Walmart for more flowers without stopping inside first. Second mistake. I got the flowers, a vase, and extra paper plates and cups for the potluck just in case. Flying out to the van I opened the back door to toss things inside. I thought twice however because the wheelchair was there and it seemed like the vase was safer up front. I shut the back van door and left the cart to bring the vase to Colin. Off we go. Third mistake.
About 3/4 of the way back to the church it hit me. My purse. My purse was not there. Why? Because in that split second while I was thinking about breaking the vase and changed up the bag location I had left my purse in the cart. With my phone. But we were closer to church and running very late so I just kept going, Colin breaking rose stems down to fit in the new – but hey, unbroken! – vase. Flowers in hand I ran into the vestibule, noticing the children lining up on the steps. Noticing the suits. Black. I search my mind trying to remember how the suit color conversation had ended, certain it had ended with "blue". My musing interrupted as a friend says, "Oh. Were you planning on Kieran taking those flowers up today?" Apparently there had been a change and another little girl was scheduled. Somehow the message hadn't gotten to us that we didn't need the flowers. Deep breath.
With a pit in my stomach I found my husband and told him I was heading back to Walmart. He took Colin and Abbie and I headed out again. However, the cart was gone and the purse had not been turned in. No surprise really but hope reigns eternal, you know? I left my information with customer service and made the return trip to church to find them already in progress. Sigh. I slipped into the pew, met Allen's eyes and shook my head, no. He slipped out of the pew, cell phone in hand, to begin canceling credit cards and such.
Little ones just sorta know when you are strung out. Brendan and Tess were in rare form, not really grumpy but rather just ramped up. Brendan was busy and Tess was glued to "her Abbie" who was less than thrilled to be glued to our girl Tess. The choir was right behind us, sounding like angels. On any other Sunday I would have literally rejoiced to hear them. Today I was totally overstimulated, so wishing any number of things hadn't happened the way they did. I thought surely it had to be wrong. My purse must be in the van. I went out to check, little people in tow, but no.
We paraded back to the pew and sat down only to realize Abbie had a diaper disaster. Tess and I made our way back out of the church to the restroom, leaving Aidan in charge of Brendan. I am not sure what number mistake I am on at this point, but just tack this one to the list. Abbie, clean and dry, the three of us return to the pew yet again and Allen followed soon after. Brendan looked up to no good as Allen and I divvied up little people. Tess reattached herself to Abbie prompting a howl of dismay. It was then I heard a throat clear behind me. We have such dear friends at church and know every single one of them. I truly don't think anyone was suggesting we get outta Dodge but honestly, it seemed unfair to inflict this calisthenic embarrassment on them any longer. With strength heretofore unknown to me I made my final exit – one girl in each arm, no doubt every bit as obtrusively as it felt.
We didn't attempt to reenter this time. We sat in Mommy time out in the empty choir practice room, listening to the rain that is now falling, me thinking that Tess could use a hug. Then, thinking that *I* really needed one. My mind ran over the past months, the past hours. So much I don't understand. This time though, I don't try. It isn't important that I understand. Only that I trust. I sit in the dark room with my baby girls and this time I am not fighting God. I am just trusting that somehow it is all unfolding exactly as He wills it despite indications to the contrary. I remember a sign I saw while window shopping that read, "Faith is not thinking God can, it is knowing that He will."
I quiet my babies and quiet myself and open the swinging wooden doors just enough to watch Kieran process with his classmates behind Sister. The beauty of it all takes my breath away and I choke back tears – happy tears, sad tears, wondering tears. The words I typed yesterday come back to me. All the questions have the same answer – and it is God. And Kieran knows this right now. I know it.
People file out with hearty congratulations. The rain has stopped. One woman commends Aidan for his calm response to Brendan pummeling him as he attempted to engage him in a wrestling match during our diaper change. (I told you he looked up to no good, did I not?) I tell her thank you – I think. It is much like the response I give to God. Thank you. I think.
And now the house is quiet. The potluck is over. Asher has driven Colin home. I hear hushed music on the tv in the back room and the washing machine humming nearby. Babies are sleeping. I should do that. Sleep. But for just one more minute I look at this happy face and remember what it's all about. God bless you, Kieran.
Starry Sky Journal 