The boys ‘crossed over’ this weekend. A very eventful day even if the weather was not entirely cooperative. Aidan became a Bear Scout:
Kieran, after waiting patiently lo these past two years, will now be a Tiger Scout. I think he has had the scarf on since….
Brendan’s fondest desire is to be a Cub ‘cout:
Mary Engelbreit’s Home Companion online supplement. had an article about the midcentury magazine covers of illustrator Al Parker. In particular the article highlighted his mother/daughter series. The author says:
The simple compositions often depicted the daughter learning something from the mother or helping her in some way. Everywhere I looked, moms and daughters were happily skating, swimming, making holiday decorations, or buying war bonds together. I guess there was no such thing as a generation gap in those days.
The illustrations are as wonderful as described. They made me think of my own daughters and how our relationship is growing and changing. Both of the older girls are becoming delightful young women. Both are eager and capable workers, one more domestically inclined, the other more at home outside. Both of them fall into step with whatever task I have at hand, quietly and confidently filling in where extra hands are needed while happy chatter passes the time.
Moira is my right hand in the barn. She never needs to be told, just quietly works her way around the barn feeding and moving stock in or out. We don’t need words as we milk together. We each know our part and can work together comfortably.
Alannah has become quite adept at seeing what needs to happen with homemaking and little ones. She took it upon herself to reorganize the little boys’ drawers and closet a few weeks back. I overheard her admonishing them to try to keep them up because “mom has a lot to do”. I snapped this picture the other day. I walked into the kitchen and she was sorting the drop pile at the edge of the counter without prompting. Now, I love my boys with all my heart but I don’t think it has ever occurred to one of their gender to stop at a pile and sort it on the spot.
All is not drudgery. We laugh and shop and pray and play a good deal. It is just a different relationship from that which I share with my boys and I feel so blessed to have both experiences.
We were firsthand witnesses to a massive grassfire this afternoon. It started near the highway just moments before Asher and I passed by. The nearby fields were already charred and smoke was billowing high in the sky as the flames marched relentlessly across the prairie fueled by 40mph winds.
Allen came home a different route and found himself right alongside the fire which by then had traveled many miles. He got these pictures which were sobering to say the least. As he was passing, a barn and home caught fire. It is shocking to see how quickly everything you have can be reduced to ashes.
911 has sent a number of reverse call messages today. We got the last a few minutes ago. The fire is finally contained some 7 hrs later after burning over 9000 acres. We are grateful none of them were ours but we mourn for the ranchers who lost so much. It was heart wrenching to see the stock trailers racing by to evacuate horses and cattle.
Overheard in the van….
Kieran: Hey Zach, do you know the (insert family name of neighbors)?
Zach: Yep.
Kieran: Well ‘cuz they’re pretty much all cowboys.
Zach: Yeah?
Kieran: Yeah. You can tell ‘cuz they got those big belts. You know, with the big silver where they connect.
Zach: Ahhh.
And there you have it. ; )
This is a really beautiful metaphor for Christian marriage. Set aside all the loaded arguments for leading, submitting, and who should be doing what and see the bigger picture.
Hat tip to my dear friend Jen.
Kris wrote a very insightful comment about vintage homemaking:
I think the thing that stuck with me the most was one blurb about them not having time to socialize except on Sunday’s…every other day they expected to be *tied* up with their homemaking chores. At the time it really blew my mind because it really sounded like they just didn’t consider doing anything but their *duty* during the week/Saturday. Such a difference from our current culture’s frame of mind. I think Anna has hit upon something that a lot of women don’t realize ( or don’t want to realize) that homemaking takes ALOT of time ( especially to do it well). It isn’t drudgery, just using your time to bless your family instead of buzzing about here and there and leaving it undone ( or half done).
I have thought about the same things many times. That same conversation came up this past week with our older sons. We have been talking a good deal about work ethic and going the extra mile versus just doing the minimum. We talked about going over and above and doing every job with equal gusto, not just the ones you like best. We talked about proper ratio of work and play in life and pointed out that God gave us “a” day of rest. For most of us, that means that, if we are doing things right, we will be doing them the better part of most days. Rest will come in fleeting bits through the week but we can look forward to Sunday to thoroughly unwind.
If your recall the Amish book mentioned waaaay back one of the things the author learned was that for the Amish the work wasn’t drudgery because each job was valued equally. Therefore there was no gritting one’s teeth through one job so as to get it done or get to a ‘better’ one. No putting off the ‘yucky jobs’ while reading email. The secret to their contentment was that they had learned to make peace with each activity and give it the same attitude as they will the one to come. This has the two-fold blessing of making tasks more pleasant and also keeping one focused and out of trouble.
I think so often about 1 Tim 5:13
And withal being idle they learn to go about from house to house: and are not only idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
What so often happens in our free time is generally not a blessing to ourselves nor to others. We don’t live in close knit communities anymore where we linger over the fence while hanging laundry. We do have the internet however and the phone. We can go ‘from house to house’ in seconds without even the commute to slow us down.
I know, for me, it is much better to remain busy and spend more time caring for home and family than chattering about my fellow man – or woman. I so easily fall into that when idle. Maybe that is just a personal vice. I am coming to realize it is a blessing and not a curse to have my days spoken for. Housework and childcare are not burdens to be freed from but unparalleled opportunities to grow and develop character. What a shame they are so quickly shaken off in favor of words.
Now, lest you think I am insufferable lecturer I am going to print this off and paste it to my forehead. You know by now, I hope, that I talk to myself here first and foremost.
Don’t miss Anna’s post today! It is brief yet thoughtful. A quick stroll through her blog demonstrates she has studied carefully and learned well from the examples provided by vintage literature. An accomplished cook and seamstress, she is not to be dismissed as one who doesn’t ‘know better’. She is also self-described as a ‘sometime attorney’. She is impressively degreed, however her family and her home are clearly the greatest source of pride.
Always insightful and inspiring, her post sums up what it meant to be a homemaker in days past. While there is a dearth of homemakers today some things remain constant: First, a home does not run itself simply because mother isn’t home running it. Second, homemakers work hard. Always have, always will if they are doing it right. Erma Bombeck used to joke that housekeeping, done properly, may kill you. ; ) I don’t think anyone has actually perished from housekeeping but it IS a formidable task to do it well and make things lovely. What is life without home and loveliness however?
from I Saw the Angel in the Marble, Chris and Ellyn Davis:
I recently read a study which concluded that 85% of all communication aimed at three year olds is either telling the child not to do something or how bad he is for having done what he just did. I was astonished. What are all these three year olds doing that they need such continual correction? I would suspect that most of the time they are simply being curious. they are exploring, and, in so doing getting into things they “shouldn’t” be getting into.
John Holt is quoted later in the passage giving his perception:
All that energy and foolishness, all that curiosity, questions, talk, all the fierce passions and inconsolable sorrows, immoderate joys, seem to many to be a nuisance to be endured if not a disease to be cured. To me, they are a national asset, a treasure beyond price, more necessary to our health and our very survival than any oil or uranium or name what you will.
85% ought to stop us in our tracks. What can we do to turn that percentage on its ear? Can we adjust the environment to allow for more exploration and safe participation? Can we adjust the schedule to allow for more rest for the adults so they can respond more positively? Can we replace “Stop” with “Try this” instead? Redirection is so much nicer than reprimand. I am not sure many of us grown-ups could function long if 85% of our feedback from those around us was negative. My thin-skinned self shrivels up with far less than that.
The Davis’ state that they are not unschoolers but they, like me, share John Holt’s deep appreciation of childhood. I am challenged to look at childish enthusiasm not as a burden but a blessing. It is a rare opportunity for us to experience once more the boundless joy that comes so naturally to little bitty people. How do we lose that? Maybe the answer lies someplace in that 85%
I saw this post on Raw Mom (I know. Just when you think you figured out what we eat too….) and had to laugh:
The other day Mika was having trouble concentrating on her homeschooling and I just finally said it like I felt it:
“Mika, I’m really frustrated and I don’t quite know how to respond to you right now.”
“Mom, if you would get more sleep, spend less time in front of the computer, and stop eating late at night, you wouldn’t be so frustrated.”
I stood there stunned. Caught in my own trap.
“Mika. Thanks.”
She’s 7, by the way.
From the mouths of babes.
I loved this one too:
childhood is not merely a preparation for living, it IS living. Children are not apprentices for adulthood, though they are usually treated as such. This is a huge mistake. Because what is actually a valid and complete period in life turns into a second-class affair,
A child who is being trained in the Montessori system should also, as soon as it is at all possible, beging to share in the work of the household. If he is provided with a small broom and dustpan there is no reason why he should not keep his room fresh and clean and also clean up the litter of paper or dirt which he makes in the course of the day.
Pains should be taken to allow even the very little child to watch from a comfortable position any household operation in which he shows an interest. Fortunate indeed the child whose mother still cooks and sews and bakes and washes and allows her children to aid in these processes. Such children receive Montessori training without any formal apparatus.
-Dorothy Canfield Fisher 1913
Starry Sky Journal 