The Herald has Elizabeth Foss’ column about Brendan online here.   Please offer a prayer for all families who are separated when you read it.  Thank you again E. Was the baby who had the world praying for him. : )

Brendan the Be-Bop boy is three today. I would show you a picture of his three year old self but I can’t figure out the new camera cord so will wait for Allen on that.  Please be sure to go send a birthday wish to his birthday Buddy, Elizabeth, who stood by us all those months leading up to his birth while his Daddy was in the desert.

Have I told you this story?   Probably but I don’t see it on here. Whooey. What a night. What a year that was. Allen had decided to retire from the Air Force.  He thought a baby would be a good way to celebrate lol! We are funny that way.  I remember getting that positive pg test.  I remember standing in that same bedroom two days later when the call came.  He was being deployed. I didn’t cry then. I did lose my vision temporarily.  Freak migraine. Silent blind terror.

Grace covered us those months. Everything that could go wrong seemed to but friends showered us with help. I spent the second half of the pregnancy on partial bedrest as this baby grew faster than his dates suggested. When he steadily measured weeks ahead of his due date I gave up on Allen being there for the birth.  Then he didn’t come and didn’t come. Finally Allen left Iraq and flew to Baltimore. The last leg of the journey home. My gosh, he was gonna make it. I fell into bed in awed relief. It lasted about 15 minutes.  Then my water broke.  Dang.

After the initial panic wore off I called Allen back. Well, after I called the midwife and my labor partner. He had a fully charged calling card and managed to stay on the line for the next three hours til that baby appeared. Gotta wonder what that sounded like on his end. ; ) We wrestled that baby out. He remained neither posterior nor anterior but rather sideways. Ow ow ow.  So much for babies eventually just falling out! 

When all the excitement died down and the midwives went home I laid in bed staring at this little person sleeping. In all that post-labor adrenaline rush I couldn’t sleep and ended up just waiting until Allen walked in the door. It wasn’t the way we planned it.  Few things ever are!  But it was all good in the end. It always is. : ) 

Happy 3, sweet boy!  What would our lives be without you? 

And happy 39-again E!  Call me when that package arrives!

A real life friend of mine was asking more about our first son’s birth and how that played out – being young, a continent from home, and in a medical crisis.  Our chat evolved into a larger discussion about joy in general and how one accounts for it.  She asked to share my letter so I am going to share it here fwiw since this topic has come up a few times in private email:

> No there are no easy answers.  I have thought a lot about why we
responded
> the way we did. Part is just really good fortune. I have always
been doggedly
> optimistic.  Also more than a bit stubborn. All it takes
is someone saying
> ‘you cant" to trigger my ‘oh yes we can!’ response. 
Part is that joy is a
> gift of the spirit and I can’t take personal
responsibility for that gift.
>
> That said, I do think Joy is also
something we can cultivate. No matter how
> awful things are there are
always many more awful things that are not
> happening. We have to focus
on the rose and not the thorns because in truth
> the one is always
accompanied by the other.
>
> I am not an old woman but the longer
you live the more awful things happen
> both to you and to those around
you. As time goes on I have become acutely
> aware of what suffering is.
Every moment we have been given protection and
> reprieve is treasured in
my heart because gosh life is hard and short.  When
> you face that
reality you have to choose whether you will let that overwhelm
> you or
whether you will survive – and thrive. That is where that dogged
>
determination comes in. I am determined to thrive and to make the most
of
> the roses. I can’t control the thorns. I CAN maximize the garden and
make it
> as beautiful as possible.  Its my little attempt to thwart Satan
who would
> like to see us despair.
>
> Sometimes it takes a
very conscious effort to look for things to
> appreciate – the sun coming
through the window, the smell of bread baking,
> the soapy clean hair on
newly bathed babies.  Once you make a habit of
> seeking out those little
wonders like that, always always thinking of how
> much worse you could
be, it starts to come more naturally.  In our family
> there is never a
shortage of opportunity to practice. : /  Just this morning
> our(second)
brand new trampoline was victim of a freak wind storm.  $400 GONE.  It
> was
hard to swallow.  My dh and I saw thorns.  Lots of them.  When the initial
>
shock wore off we stopped and talked a minute.  I said well, for all we
know
> someone may have been going to have a terrible accident on there
today and
> God swept in and intercepted that disaster.
>
> I
guess my other thing is that depression runs in my family. I have been
>
blessed to avoid it but its been ever present in my relatives. They can be extremely
< negative and it wore on me. I have vowed to try to avoid that
rut
> to the extent that I can. Now that doesn’t mean the Pollyanna in me
always
> wins. I cry easily and often. Some horrific things have happened
to me. The
> baby’s health wasn’t one of them if that gives any indication
of how serious
> I am.  But what are you to do?  I just won’t let it
defeat me. Thank you God
> we aren’t on the streets of Iraq or Darfur. We
have warm rooms, good food
> and the opportunity to try harder again every
day. We have our knowledge of
> God. We will never suffer as He did.  We
are ok. We have to ride the waves
> with our eyes on the shore
ahead.
>
> One thing that has helped me beyond measure has been
surrounding myself with
> uplifting stories.  For me that is the story of
the saints who to a number
> have had to overcome horrible suffering.
Scripture is full of suffering
> people who still found joy. It is a
mystery in my opinion.  That whole
> concept of ’embracing’ the cross has
always been a mystery to me. Slowly
> slowly God is helping me.  I have
had to ask HIm to please help me
> understand HOW in the world to actually
embrace my crosses when my gut level
> response is to dodge them wherever
possible. Maybe someday I will actually
> ‘get’ it. I am an admittedly
slow student.  God has given me lots of chances
> to learn this lesson
though. Bottom line though – I try to remember to just
> ask Him when I
can’t find silver lining. "What is the good You are bringing
> from this
situation?  What am I supposed to learn? Help me to suffer
> patiently as
You did." It works. Sometimes better than others ; )

So says The Wise Woman in her Jan 4 blog entry. Excellent reminder that woman are always teaching. No matter where your children attend school, no matter what your station in life.