Ladder of Humility

Posted on April 9, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

This morning during my reading I dug a little deeper into the original "twelve steps" program St Benedict laid out for us. It is not to break addiction from substances but from pride, which is ultimately even deadlier. The original core list is here:

Twelve Steps of Humility

Step 1. A first step is taken when one consciously obeys all of God’s commandments, never ignoring them but always holding within himself a fear of God in his heart.

Step 2. The second step is achieved when one thinks not about pleasing himself but instead follow the injunction of the Lord.

Step 3. The third step is reached when out of love of God, one obediently submits to a superior in imitation of the Lord.

Step 4. The fourth step is achieved when one, under obedience, patiently and quietly endures all thing that are inflicted on him. It should make no difference whether the trials are painful, unjust or even completely beyond his understanding; he should neither tire nor give up.

Step 5. The fifth step is reached when one humbly discloses to his superior all the evil thoughts in his heart, as well as those faults and evil acts he has actually committed.

Step 6. To achieve the sixth step one must without qualms accept all that is crude and harsh; at all times he considers himself a poor and worthless workman.

Step 7. The seventh step is attained when one not only confesses that he is an inferior and common wretch, but believes it to his very core. He must be willing to humble himself.

Step 8. One reaches the eighth step of humility when he does only that which is demanded by the common rule of his seniors.

Step 9. The ninth step can be achieved when one, practicing silence, only speaks when asked a question.

Step 10. The tenth step is climbed when one restrains himself from undue laughter and frivolity.

Step 11. To reach the eleventh step one must speak gently, without jests, but simply, seriously, tersely, rationally and softly.

Step 12. The final step is attained only when one can at all times show humility not only in his appearance and actions, but also in his heart.

I printed off this meditation of the 12 Steps with daily challenges to add to the Morning Basket.

As well as this commentary.

Yes, it is truly counter-cultural. It is also truly freeing. It not thinking less of yourself, but as the quote says, thinking of yourself less. Breaking that stranglehold that Self has over us.

John the Baptist Quote: “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

The full text of St Benedict's Rule is here.

Everyday Magic

Posted on April 6, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

What goes around comes around. The cool part is that the ratio of big hands to small is more evenly balanced with grandchildren.

Just pure pleasure.

"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time, with eyes of a child, fresh with wonder."

– Joseph Cornell

St Patrick’s Tea

Posted on March 18, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

These are the most beautiful pictures I have from St. Patrick's Day and they were actually taken today since yesterday was so full. There was no month of St Patricks Irish dancing and pub performing this year thanks to Covid protocols. Instead, the high school soccer team began its season yesterday, having transferred fall sports to spring. We had a very late post game dinner of corned beef in the crock pot and baked potatoes and the girls made our standby soda bread recipe here. Our informal family reviews of this recipe are very positive.

We watched PS I Love You this week which always makes me exceptionally emotional. (insert disclaimer for any inappropriate content) It also makes me miss my big girls tremendously. Alannah suggested a St Patrick's playlist on Spotify so I happily blasted that while driving to and from the game.

We did read the long biography from Butler's Lives and of course read the Lorica. It was not picture perfect the day of, nor was it a well orchestrated "all at one time" celebration. It was a bits and pieces, spirit of the day sort of thing, as it usually works out here. I pace myself and fit things in as they can be peacefully be fit in. That looks different every year.

The funniest Irish quote I saw this year has me chuckling still. My friend Molly, who shares my unique combination of love for all things Irish AND for Polish pottery shared this one by Yeats:

“Being Irish, she had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained her through temporary periods of joy.”

We ARE a dramatic bunch with an acute sense of the tragic lol.

So here I am, a day late and a dollar short, likely. I don't create content. (though I don't begrudge those in a position to do so) I recall and record over here. And sometimes I recreate as I did today, having the tea and soda bread leftovers when we had a little more time to enjoy.

Lorica of Saint Patrick

Author: Saint Patrick

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth and His baptism,
Through the strength of His crucifixion and His burial,
Through the strength of His resurrection and His ascension,
Through the strength of His descent for the judgment of doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In service of archangels,
In the hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs,
In preachings of the apostles,
In faiths of confessors,
In innocence of virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
From snares of the devil,
From temptations of vices,
From every one who desires me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a mulitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and evil,
Against every cruel merciless power that opposes my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of women and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.
Christ shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that reward may come to me in abundance.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the Threeness,
Through a confession of the Oneness
Of the Creator of creation

St. Patrick (ca. 377)

After the storm

Posted on March 16, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

The forecast sounded ominous all last week. A fierce winter storm was projected to move through our area and power outages were expected. We replaced the generator we sold when we left the mountain West and stocked up on food and water just in case. While outages did happen further north, it was truly magical in our neck of the woods so we just ate our stash of snacks, watched movies, and laughed at the dogs diving through the snow.

I have always loved a snow day. As a child growing up in Wisconsin it was like winning the lottery. Before dawn we would sit glued to the television set watching the scrolling list of schools and government buildings closed, hoping to see the name that meant you got a whole day off to do whatever you liked. That usually meant curling up on the sofa with a bowl of cereal insulated from the world outside. Naps. TV. Playing with the dog outside. I still get a little rush when we have a reprieve from our usual routine and the world around us quiets in the hush of falling snow.

We have been hunkered down for three days now. There was two feet of snow on the deck last night. The neighbors finally made a path to the next closest plowed road. I expect ours will be cleared tomorrow. Then the temps are predicted to rise and it will all be gone again. In the meantime we were treated to the most beautiful blue skies today. There is nothing like the sky after a good snow.

White Noise

In all the world
There’s nothing like
The sound of falling snow –

The only noise
I’ve ever known
That makes the clocks move slow.

The only sound
That sweeps away
The din of city streets,

And wraps around,
In soft embrace,
’Most everyone it meets.

A sound that’s not
A sound at all –
A quiet, soft and dear,

That comforts all
The sleepy souls
Who sit, and watch, and hear.

~ Barbara Vance

In Our Domestic Cares

Posted on March 10, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Our copy of the unabridged Butler's Lives of the Saints has been such an inspiration to me. How we came to own it is a funny story. I had borrowed the first volume from the library. Upon returning they insisted it was damaged due to paint on the cover. I paid for the book to be replaced, took the damaged volume home, and promptly discovered the "damage" wiped completely off. Since it was now ours we began to read from it daily. The detailed biographies of both major and lesser known saints have captivated me. Today there was a rather long story of St Frances of Rome, who loved God intensely and assumed the best way to serve Him would be as a religious. Her parents had other plans to which she acquiesced and she lived out her vocation as a wife and mother with every bit as much discipline and zeal. She famously quoted as saying,

"A married woman must leave God at the altar to find Him in her domestic cares;"

In her article here, Meg Hunter-Kilmer says:

"The trick of the devil is to convince us that our circumstances make holiness impossible. “Maybe I could have been a saint,” we think, “if I hadn’t married him or had so many children or gotten in that car accident or had an abortion or dropped out of college or become so bitter.”

St Frances pivoted admirably and threw herself into the vocation chosen for her, no excuses. It was precisely through circumstances she did not choose that she became a saint. God sent her companions in this journey. Her husband came to adore her and refused to put limits on her charitable work. Her sister-in-law became her closest friend and partner in serving the poor. Most miraculously, after a serious trial, God sent her an angel which was visible to her for the rest of her life though his image faded some when she committed some fault. Clarity was restored each time when she righted her course.

Her Bull of Canonization states that, “Her prayers and sufferings helped bring to end Western Schism (1378-1449), as well as the residence of popes in Avignon France.” This is a terribly important reminder that we cannot know the fruits of our suffering and prayers but we must be assured that they are never wasted. St Frances was not a diplomat, she was a housewife. It was not her negotiations that ended the schism, but her private suffering and devotion.

I hope you'll read the whole entry for her life in Butlers online here. The Kindle version of Georgianna Fullerton's biography of the saint is currently free on Amazon.

February Book Club: Farenheit 451

Posted on February 28, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

We just finished this month's read and I am pasting our notes below. This was my third go at Bradbury's classic. My son encouraged me to read it about 5 years ago. It spoke to me on so many levels I read it aloud to the kids at home. Reading it again in our current culture was almost painful. Still, even in the author's dystopian society there is the possibility for salvation on a deeply personal level. In the end, though we strive together for a greater good, that likely starts with very personal transformation.

Download Farenheit 451 Notes

“I did/did not like this book because…”

The general feedback was positive. The book was convicting, if unnerving. Bradbury’s predictions of future technology were uncanny.

“I wish the author would have…..”

The lack of closure and uncertainty of the future of several characters disappointed some.

We discussed that Mildred and her friends reflected the stereotypical 50s female character rather than the post-feminist era woman. While there are indeed checked out, frivolous, and self medicating women today they are not nearly as passive or concerned with propriety and social norms. This suggests perhaps Bradbury did not have as good a handle on the feminine character then or now.

“It convicted me about something in my own life…”

“It aligned with/opposed Catholic thought in this way…”

Given that this was a cautionary tale it invites much self reflection. One comment made over and over was how striking was man’s inhumanity. This circled back to ideas discussed in our last book (Man’s Search for Meaning) that to harm another you must first dehumanize him. There was unanimous horror over the violence of the youth. (“Those who cannot build must burn.”)

When asked about their concerns about imminent war the women comment that, “It is always someone else’s husband.” In fact, all the suffering of others is routinely dismissed as having nothing to do with the characters personally. (“Am I my brother’s keeper?”)

We discussed the fine line between using technology and it using us. Much as we condemn Mildred’s complete escape from reality via screens, we should also consider our own screen time. We discussed “phubbing” or ignoring family members while on the phone or computer or video games. What should be our attitude towards technology? The Church maintains that technology and machines in general are morally neutral. It is our use of it that determines. What safeguards do we have in place to protect ourselves and our families from those who would use these tools in negative ways or from the addictive nature of some technology?

We decided the message of the author which is articulated by Faber is that man craves substance and connection. Entertainment is a poor, but popular, substitute for both. Do society/media/govt encourage this? Why? What can we do to encourage authentic connection with others, particularly those who have been swept up in this cycle of fast-paced, often poorly considered responses? How do we learn to cultivate civil discourse in an era of increasing hostility?

What is the best response to this increasing hostility and diversity of opinion? In Farenheit the societal conclusion was conformity of thought and the avoidance of uncomfortable discussion. Can we do better?

What can we deduce from comments strewn through the text about how other nations viewed this future society?

What does it tell us that it took war and devastation to bring people back to their senses? What does this tell us about comfort and suffering?

What role does religion play in this future society?

We know the Bible has been banned with other books. We know that even non religious intellectuals were memorizing and preserving the books of the Bible. The question is posed, “Christ is one of the “family” (a media character) now. I often wonder if God recognizes His own Son the way we’ve dressed Him up or is it dressed Him down?” Faber indicates that Jesus is used as a marketing tool more than for personal transformation. Does this happen today? Does society ban religion or re-brand it to make it more palatable as well as financially advantageous?

Beatty remarks that we must all be alike and how this must happen. He says, “Not everyone born free and equal as the Constitution says, but everyone made equal.” He asserts that books would make this impossible. The assumption is that some would read more or differently than others and naturally improve themselves more than others and thus perfect equilibrium would be impossible.

What does equality mean? What does the Constitution affirm? Are we equal in essential value and opportunities or should we be assured of equal success?

Diversity is both invoked and suppressed in this book. On the one hand the great diversity of future society is said to be the reason for censorship. Strict control of language and thought and education arose in the interest of appeasing many diverse groups. Beatty reveals society and business, rather than actual altruism, were the driving forces, “The bigger your market, the less you can handle controversy. Remember that!”

Faber succinctly sums up by saying that each one is now made in the image of the others. How does this compare to the biblical truth that we are made in the image and likeness of God? And if we are all made in God’s likeness how do we explain the diversity? What is the unity and similarity the Bible is referring to? (Hint: it is our underlying humanity vs our individual characteristics. The soul vs the mind and body)

The professors remind Montag repeatedly to remain humble, not to inflate one’s ego because they are well read. The purpose of reading is not to puff oneself up but to give back to society, to rebuild culture, and to pass on something of value and substance to future generations who will eventually demand to know how society degenerated to such an extent.

Faber tells Montag three things are missing from a world without books: quality information, the leisure to digest it, and the freedom to act on what they've learned. Beatty and Faber explain that covertly discouraging rich language and replacing it with graphic and sound saturated intense media prevent contemplation. Authority and peer pressure work to subdue the few who slip through the cracks and begin to form questions.

What role does nature play in the reforming of Montags character? What role can it play in our lives? “…the more he breathed the land in, the more he was filled up with all the details of the land. He was not empty. There was more than enough here to fill him. There would always be more than enough.”

Why do we read fiction? Fiction is a lie that tells us the truth. – Albert Camus

Related books and articles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwAR3IBG5Rf2YcMcBwVD0rrAO3OFcNRvrd0Fq0sNHzoN8k4bjMvAQVDCi-kkA&v=BiqDZlAZygU&feature=youtu.be

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/767958.Leisure?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=7WmAXTj6h2&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36300732-the-reading-life?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=wszpqWeupA&rank=2

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8323492-my-reading-life?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=XVsDPy94sh&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38502471-i-d-rather-be-reading?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=aTUA0mdUko&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5129.Brave_New_World?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=8rjQ4U74U9&rank=1

https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=1984&qid=NucXgIgSyh

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3636.The_Giver

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/170448.Animal_Farm

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/74034.Amusing_Ourselves_to_Death

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53438190-live-not-by-lies

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/159979.The_Image

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9778945-the-shallows

https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224

https://time.com/5216853/what-is-phubbing/

http://richardlouv.com/books/last-child/

At Home…in the kitchen

Posted on February 26, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Beautifully-Organized-A-Guide-to-Function-and-Style-in-Your-Home-Hardcover

One of my favorite organizing books has been Beautifully Organized by Nikki Boyd of At Home with Nikki. I am inspired by everything she does – her book, website, and YouTube channel. I have been treating myself to her videos and then tackling similar areas of my home. We have a LONG way to go to get to Nikki level but small victories are very satisfying, even if our spaces are used daily and need regular reorganizing.

Last week was the kitchen video which prompted me to clean out most of the cabinets and rearrange. Next up is the under sink project.

One thing I caught in the kitchen junk drawer video was a thought about how having many branded items contributes to visual clutter. Even if the space is relatively tidy it can feel chaotic when there are multiple labels and colors competing. I realize now that visually appealing decor is often less about the big ticket items like sofas or tables and more about all those utilitarian things that make up the lion's share of our homes. The closets, the drawers, the flatware, the measuring cups, the towels. Having those items well organized and visually cohesive makes a big impact.

transitions

Posted on February 23, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Change, big and small, always creates a certain amount of tension. As Frankl said in last month's book club read, some tension is optimal. It provides the impetus needed to propel us forward. Without it we risk stagnation. There is a sweet spot, however, between sloth and exertion, between stimulus and overwhelm. That sweet spot is different for each of us and for our children.

Small people begin by tackling the hourly transitions between activities. Sleeping to waking, eating to dressing, arrivals and departures. These can range from relatively smooth to hellish and we have a lot to do with how they play out. The links below give good tips for easing those touchstones in a child's day and encouraging them to meet them with peace.

Jennifer McIntosh shared a really insightful reflection about our older kids. They are not immune to the stresses life changes bring. That looks different with an older child. As she says, "Some act out…others withdraw." She encourages us to consider the tension they present at these times as cues. They serve as indicators that our child is experiencing a transition and could use our help.

"At touchstones along the way that child will signal that he needs help transitioning and making the next step."

If we are honest, we probably respond similarly in times of transition from place to place, during job changes, dietary changes, and so on. Instead of meeting that tension with irritability it is helpful to consider what is behind it to better meet needs. We can troubleshoot the real challenges vs reacting to the emotion.

They need our help, not our opposition. It is usually less a test of wills and more an underdeveloped ability to articulate core problems. We are on the same team.

Managing Daily Transitions

Making Daily Transitions Easy

Tackling Toddler Transitions

Big Transitions and Kids

Helping Adolescents Navigate Change

Book Club notes – January

Posted on February 19, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

Image result for mans search for meaning

A little group of local friends are reading together this year. It is probably flat out absurd to add more titles to my ever growing stacks when I have school literature to cover with the children as well. The workload isn't getting any lighter and the state of the nation is nuts. Creative ventures tend to serve as counter weight for me though. I need beauty and big thoughts to balance out the mundane and the downright difficult. Seen in that light, more books seem to be just the ticket.

In January we read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It prompted lots of questions and ideas personally and among friends. We discussed some overlap with Vice Admiral James Stockton. That pulled in the Stoics which he drew from in his imprisonment. I am attaching the notes, quotes, and links to related things that I collected last month. These are not especially well-organized so be advised. They are simply a very informal brain dump.

Book challenges and book lists of modern classics are filling my imagination these days. All suggestions are welcome! I hope you are feeding your soul and growing your mind during these rather bleak late winter days.

Download MSFM notes and links

to gain mastery

Posted on February 17, 2021 by Kim Halloran-Fry

"…we shall not fail to observe the fasts, disciplines and periods of silence which the Order commands;

for, as you know, if prayer is to be genuine it must be reinforced with these things;

prayer cannot be accompanied by self-indulgence.

This body of ours has one fault: the more you indulge it, the more things it discovers to be essential to it."

St Teresa of Avila, The Way of Perfection

Help me O Lord to gain the mastery over my body and to conquer it completely; so that I may attain that magnificent liberty of spirit which allows the soul to devote itself undisturbed to the exercise of a deep interior life. - Divine Intimacy

Starry Sky Journal

Reflections from Starry Sky Ranch