I apologize for some erratic blogging and more erratic email replies. We have faced a series of daunting challenges in the past several weeks and at times it has consumed all our time and energy. Still, there has been an undercurrent of peace throughout for me. Fatigue, discouragement, and concern -yes- but also peace.

I always said homeschooling was every bit as much an education for me as for my children. I was reminded of this today. Allen and I were discussing some difficult decisions that had to be made and pulling together our case for the public comment hearing for the utility project. Sometimes when you survey all the crummy things coming at you it is easy to get demoralized. As we were talking, however, I was thinking of a poem I read to the older boys many years ago, Horatius at the Bridge by Thomas Babington Macauley. 

In this story Rome was under attack by the Etruscans who had to cross a narrow footbridge to reach the city. Their number and the speed with which they approached the bridge overwhelmed the resolve of the Roman soldiers. They decided to cut the bridge but would not be able to do so before the arrival of their foes. Horatius rose to the occasion, realizing he did not have to battle the entire Etruscan army, he had only to face them one at a time. That he could do. He called for comrades in arms: 

I, with two more to help me,
    Will hold the foe in play.
In yon strait path a thousand
    May well be stopped by three.
Now who will stand on either hand,
    And keep the bridge with me?’

Two more joined him, proving that a threefold cord is not easily broken, and they held off the onslaught until the bridge was severed.Horatius was the last man standing on the bridge as the bridge collapsed. He then plunged into the Tiber, amid the jeers of the enemy, and appeared to have succumbed:

And heavy with his armour,
    And spent with changing blows:
And oft they thought him sinking,
    But still again he rose.

But his limbs were borne up bravely
    By the brave heart within,
And our good father Tiber
    Bare bravely up his chin.

Somehow rereading this poem buoyed me up as well. We do not have to slay all these dragons at once. We just have to be faithful at the gate, facing one of them at a time. Our ‘Good Father’ will bear us up as well.

Another poem from my own childhood comes to mind. My aunt had a framed copy of Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata on the wall all the years we shared a room while I was growing up. I know the words well:

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

No doubt the universe, at least my little universe, IS unfolding as God wills it to be. As to the upset, this too shall pass. Meantime, I am exceedingly grateful for the steadfast support of dear friends who help me "nurture that strength of spirit" to get through crumminess with more grace than I could ever muster on my own. Thank you for keeping the bridge with me over so many years. You know who you are. : )

*if you want to explore Horatius futher you might check out Memoria Press’ study guide. A shorter free study is available here. An accompanying art lesson is here.