Thank you all for your prayers.  The little ones had a better day though Brendan’s pulse oxygen levels were still not ideal. They both slept REALLY well last night though – which means mama slept too.  Woo hoo!

We have made some hard decisions this week and I wanted to share them here because of a comment that was made by one young mom. She expressed disappointment, and perhaps a bit of resentment, over Funschool and all that we do. I try to present a fair survey of our lives here though obviously this blog isn’t the sum total of our existence. It is important though, especially as you begin the homemaking/homeschooling journey, that you have a realistic understanding of what your fellow moms are actually accomplishing. As a rule, it is going to be less than you have built up their production to be in your mind.

Funschool co-op ran pretty smoothly all fall. It was extremely gratifying personally to me to have those little faces shine back so enthusiastically. I found there are drawbacks to the co-op setting though. Most obvious is the fact that while home education can happen under wide, varied circumstances, group instruction with children from other families can only happen at set times requiring a significant amount of preplanning. Life in a large family, particularly with members who have health challenges, does not lend itself to inflexible schedules. Things happen. Even if each member has a need only once a month if you do the math that means a third of our month is eaten up. Fortunately homeschooling continues without missing a beat most often.  You are rarely sick enough to need to stop reading.  Avilian notebooks travel well. Guerilla homeschooling fills the gaps. We have a framework for WHAT we plan to cover daily/weekly/annually but we are flexible about where/when those goals are met each day and can adjust to the challenges the day brings.

The same is true for our cleaning schedule.  We can’t budge on that. With a large family you MUST clean your fridge, mop your floors, empty your vehicle, and order the clothing drawers at least weekly. Vacuuming/sweeping, bathroom cleaning, bed making, laundry,dishes and exterior kitchen surface cleaning must happen daily.  Actually I hit our main bathroom twice a day. (And I am not Martha Stewart.  It just would be gross otherwise. I have a lot of boys) Now some weeks I can’t stick to the prearranged focus day list and we have to double up another day. That’s ok. It is not ok to skip though or you really compound your mess.

Somewhere in your year you have seasonal/annual jobs that are flexible but can’t be put off indefinitely – closet cleaning, seasonal clothing swapping, oven cleaning, light fixtures, yada yada. We have found that while it would be lovely to set aside a week to do those things it never pans out unless you have secured a nanny to entertain your children. No, it is better to sneak in those jobs here and there. Children left to themselves bring shame upon their mothers….  Therefore I try to tackle a couple yucky jobs every week like emptying the bathroom door organizer which is this weeks goal.

I am rambling.  My point is you have to be a good steward of your time. The more kids you have, the more health issues you have, the less wiggle room you have. I live by a few slogans. One is that there is always enough time to do God’s will.  There is rarely enough time to also do your own agenda. I have found God to be economical. He always provides for our needs. Not always so with our ‘druthers.  When pressed for time and or when energy is depleting I have had to step back and ask again, what of this is God’s will and what is my own?  Clearly SOMEthing is my agenda because while God does not promise to make me supermom He does promise me I can carry my yoke with His help.  That does not mean I can carry ANY yoke I choose, only the one He has designed for me.  This is where I run into trouble.

Rebecca made a comment in an unrelated conversation yesterday that has stuck in my mind since. She said we often confuse the DESIRE to do something with the CALL to do it. Truer words were never spoken.  Take them to heart as I am. Most often in life we must make the hard decisions and let go of the "good" to attain the "best" for our families.

I let go of support forums this past year which was a
wrenching decision. I was faced with the choice to be a faithful friend to a
few women or to slack on my responsibilities too often while attempting to keep
on top of message board discussions. The choice seemed obvious when standing in
front of a closet that needed sorting but on a practical level it meant
removing myself from daily comraderie. I realized afterwards just how much I
relied on that positive feedback. It is much easier to motivate oneself when
you get applause here and there.

There was a lot of positive feedback from Funschool co-op.
One little girl whispered into my ear a few weeks ago “Thank you for being our
teacher!” Another asked the other day
when they could come to my house and learn letters again. Sigh. You have no
idea how sweet they are, nor how much fun it is to work hard when you have such
an appreciative audience. But the reality is time stops for no (wo)man. This lifestyle
requires a decent amount from us. To be responsible you have to make hard
choices. You can’t do it all. I know. I have tried. So, bottom line – another difficult decision –
I will continue to post Funschool plans here and hope everyone enjoys them at
home as we do but we won’t be hosting the real life co-op.

I also cancelled my speaking contract for this summer. Another VERY difficult decision. I like to share. I like to see people given the tools to effect positive change in their homeschools. Reality is my family doesn’t have the hours required to do justice to a conference presentation this year however. Perhaps it is my overgrown sense of responsibility but I believe when people pay their hard earned money they deserve a well-constructed, thoughtful presentation in return. If I allocate my time to assure that then many other things would suffer here. My first call is to do well at living this message. I want to be sure I am giving my all to that. Right now I can’t live it well AND present. This isn’t my season.

I often bring to mind an experience as a conference attendee many years ago.  The speaker began her talk (about how to be a good mother) by asking us for prayer for her baby who was howling in another room.  She spoke louder to be heard over the crying. : / It made a huge impression on me. I realize it would have been a career killer to have walked out on us, her full house audience, to go attend to that baby.  Still…

Reading blogs should encourage you, not demoralize you. If it sounds too good to be
true, assume it isn’t true. If you are
working hard and can’t fit in another thing then those other things are not God’s
will for you. He gave you a specific set of circumstances. Those are handpicked
for you. They won’t look like mine or anyone else’s. That is ok. You will have to make hard
choices. Do you want to do hands on history? Fine. You won’t likely get to do hands-on everything else AND scouts AND
have a vegetable garden. Are you having babies every 18months or more
frequently? That IS your task for this season in life. You may not get to
participate in online groups or have a weekly date night. You get unlimited
hugs and kisses every day – and night often – instead. In the end it is a lot
more to hang onto than a science fair project.  Be sure you are asking your husband, sincerely, how HE feels about your commitments.

Whatever circumstances you have been gifted with strive to
make the most of them. If you have a home, take really good care of it. Many
people are not so lucky. It may not be a mansion but for this time, now, it is
yours.  If you have a husband, take even
better of him. Similarly, many are not so fortunate and we don’t know how many days we will get to be a blessing to him. Don’t take that for granted. If you have children, turn off the computer and go join them. Don’t
worry about what the rest of us are doing, and be assured NO one is doing it
all. Everyone is making choices and many are making choices you would not be
happy with in the end.