from I Saw the Angel in the Marble, Chris and Ellyn Davis:
I recently read a study which concluded that 85% of all communication aimed at three year olds is either telling the child not to do something or how bad he is for having done what he just did. I was astonished. What are all these three year olds doing that they need such continual correction? I would suspect that most of the time they are simply being curious. they are exploring, and, in so doing getting into things they “shouldn’t” be getting into.
John Holt is quoted later in the passage giving his perception:
All that energy and foolishness, all that curiosity, questions, talk, all the fierce passions and inconsolable sorrows, immoderate joys, seem to many to be a nuisance to be endured if not a disease to be cured. To me, they are a national asset, a treasure beyond price, more necessary to our health and our very survival than any oil or uranium or name what you will.
85% ought to stop us in our tracks. What can we do to turn that percentage on its ear? Can we adjust the environment to allow for more exploration and safe participation? Can we adjust the schedule to allow for more rest for the adults so they can respond more positively? Can we replace “Stop” with “Try this” instead? Redirection is so much nicer than reprimand. I am not sure many of us grown-ups could function long if 85% of our feedback from those around us was negative. My thin-skinned self shrivels up with far less than that.
The Davis’ state that they are not unschoolers but they, like me, share John Holt’s deep appreciation of childhood. I am challenged to look at childish enthusiasm not as a burden but a blessing. It is a rare opportunity for us to experience once more the boundless joy that comes so naturally to little bitty people. How do we lose that? Maybe the answer lies someplace in that 85%
Starry Sky Journal 
Wow. That is truly jarring, isn’t it. Makes me want to really re-evaluate my interactions with my little ones. And practice saying “yes.”
I had that great grace to work at a Christian childcare center when I was a mere 15 years old, where the wise and wonderful Mistress of Children taught us to redirect positively. It was the best habit I ever learned, and I thank God for it. I absolutely ADORE three year olds, btw! They are hilarious!
The Baan Dek Montessori is hosting a discussion dedicated to the advancement of Montessori education for the success of the twenty-first century and hoping you could contribute. We have established an online community to discuss various topics that concern the importance and relevance of Montessori education today, and for the future, and would greatly appreciate and welcome your participation. Our initial discussions can be found here and if you or other members would like to recommend further topics or contribute to one of our scheduled podcasts please do not hesitate to contact us. We look forward to a lively and stimulating debate and hope we can once more start the radical educational movement that Montessori enacted. Best wishes, Bobby + June George The Baan Dek Montessori
Yes, I agree. The answer lies in that 85%.
Excellent food for thought! Thank you!
I needed to read this today. Thank you!
Wonderful food for pondering, I would crush under that 85% I think I will go hug my littles.
Stirred…
Thank you, friend…
Lord, help me to listen, engage, converse in meaningful ways..