This is not a new concept for me but rather one that is reinforced with each birth. This birth has been no different. I have mulled over and over how each contraction went and what ran through my head each time. (I preface this by saying that while natural childbirth has taught me many life lessons, I am certain God has other ways of imparting these to those who have not had this experience.) For me, however, natural childbirth has become something of a metaphor for motherhood and life in general.
There is pain to be sure and it is often intense and nearly unbearable at times. There are times when you question your ability to carry on. There are also breaks, little respites among the challenges, which bolster your confidence and give you a chance to catch your breath and regroup. I reminded myself of the most critical truth the night before labor began as I wondered how many contractions I would go through this time. The answer was simple – one. All I really had to cope with was the one I was having at a given moment.
This is one of the most important lessons we can learn and I admit that I often forget. We only have to face our present challenges. We trouble ourselves needlessly drumming up the past, what might have been, and what may yet be, when our eyes really ought to be fixed firmly only on what is actually before us.
As important as this, is remembering that it isn't only in childbirth that pain is purposeful. It is ALWAYS for a purpose. God works all things for good for those who love Him. We may not see the purpose right off. We may not see the purpose on this side of the veil at all. But there is one. There always is one.
A line from one of Bud Macfarlane's
books often rings through my head as well – It's only pain. It sounds so simple doesn't it? The 'only' in that line isn't meant to underestimate the depths of pain – either physical or otherwise – we are capable of enduring in this life, but rather to put both into perspective. It can make you as miserable as you allow it, but it can't completely best you unless you concede.
It has always been a mystery to me how one of the most momentous events in life was coupled with one of the most grueling. How is it life and death come so closely together. How do pain and joy meet as they do. Why? I have come to believe this is not a Divine oversight but rather an analogy for life itself, so rarely without great trials, so consistently bringing a tremendous outpouring of blessing at one and the same time. We may never fully understand it, but we can make peace with it and trust that it is all exactly as it should be even when it doesn't feel that way.
Rick Warren's train tracks analogy (which he came to after the cancer diagnosis his wife got) sums it up well. You can find the whole article
here. I think he nails it:
"I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."
But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal my wife or make it easy for her.
It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life… In
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD"
God may not make it easy for us either, but He never fails to make things worthwhile.
Starry Sky Journal 
What a beautiful post! And a beautiful picture at the bottom. My 2 year old says “sleepy. Baby. Get a shower, baby.” It’s a beautiful picture.
Oh, she is simply beautiful. So smushy!! I love your thoughts on labor and life. So so true.
good analogy for life, and that baby?? My goodness, those cheeks are darling. Now I know why grandmothers and aunts routinely pinched them.
Very beautiful post! I really like that Rick Warren quote. I think he is quite right.
Oh, and seeing your baby pictures is sort of the same. On one track is the delight of seeing such a sweet bundle, and on the other is the torture of not being able to squish and sniff her in person. She looks so incredibly cuddly it makes my hands itch :o)!
Oh my goodness! That has got to be the most beautiful baby picture ever! I really liked the “it’s only pain” reference. Shortly before our first child was born, I was talking with my husband, telling him I wondered how bad the labor could get. And his reply was just that: “it’s only pain”. He was speaking from a particular perspective, which was a good one for keeping things in proportion. At the time he was a resident in neurology; daily he saw patients who had long term bad things going on. To know it was pain that was healthy and normal and would result in such a beautiful gift was so different from what so many people carry around all the time. On the surface his comment might sound insensitive, but it helped me to welcome the pain of labor and keep focused on the joy it would bring.
I found these same thoughts as I experienced Oliver’s death. It is AMAZING how closely linked life and death truly are. The feelings are the same. That is a birth experience and a natural death of a child.
Profound! Thanks Kim
BTW that babe is soooooooooo cute!
As I read these beautiful words, Kim, I was hoping there would be a baby pic at the end…you did not disappoint. 🙂 She is just
so lovely! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this wisdom from your heart, Kim. It is so very beautiful. I really needed to read it tonight.
God bless you.
Good post. And oh, that sweet, squishy baby! I could eat her with a spoon. :o)
Amen, Sister….great post. How can you look at that baby picture and ever doubt if there is a God….can you imagine what this world would be like if we posted that pic on tons of billboards? Everyone would be filled with joy….congrats on baby, and thanks for a great blog!!
Diana (4 lads mom)
thank you so much for your thoughts. i have been thinking along similar lines since the birth of our third child in may.
enduring the pain and intensity of childbirth in order to welcome my children into the world has helped give me understand better when, “for the JOY set before Him, He endured the cross, despising the shame.” and to think, how small is our sacrifice for our children, compared to His?
that is one super cute, baby. btw. 🙂
What beauty.
My heart aches
(for me)
and rejoices
(for you).
Beautiful and inspiring thoughts, as always,Kim.
Congratulations on your new, gorgeous baby girl!!!
Beautiful post, gosh I’m so far behind in my reader I may never be caught up. Oh, that baby. Gimmie those cheeks, SMOOCHSMOOCHSMOOCH!