Daybook: looking back, looking forward edition

Outside:  Snow, sun, snow, sun….lather, rinse, repeat.  I am totally good with that. There are boys to shovel and everything has looked crisp and clean and white all winter.  

Wearing: Brown velour tiered skirt, tan long sleeved tee, faux fur vest, and boots.  That's what I had on as I strode into the dentist office feeling super confident about my ability to pull an outfit together.  That feeling lasted much of the morning, pretty much right up til I noticed the little plastic tag thingie hadn't come off the vest with the price tag and was sticking up at the collar.  Keeps you humble. ; ) 

Listening to: I Believe I Can Fly.  Overandoverandover.  Brendan's fond of his new piano song. We requested a few he could sing along to because….he does. Who knew Space Jam would have such staying power?  Six sons, people.  A lot of Space Jam has happened here. 

Reading: Oh yes.  So much. I picked up What Alice Forgot at Costco Friday and binge read for a few days til the last page.  I haven't done that in a loooong time but it was worth it. Disclaimer – the characters and plot involve issues or behaviors I would not endorse! However, it was a remarkable exploration of forgiving and forgetting, which is much, much easier than forgiving things while the memory of them still plagues you. It was about whether one is able to extricate oneself from the vortex of emotion and dysfunction and reset a life. 

I have thought so much about all the above. The main character gets amnesia and loses memory of the last ten years of her life. Ten years ago? Where was I? Gram was still alive. I hadn't been on a plane for 20 years. My husband was newly retired from the USAF and the little girls were not here yet. Europe hadn't happened.  Some of the worst pain of my life was still to come.  Some of the most unexpected, unbelievable gifts as well. How do we process all that and more? What have we lost from our younger selves? What have we gained?  

So much is perspective.  Looking at the same things a different way.  On that note, I was also super inspired by this photographer's story.  About his disability, the result of a violent crime, he explains that:

"It's one of those things I have to deal with, but also one of those things that made me someone who can see things from a different perspective and even enjoy life, see life and all its wonders – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oftentimes I capture things people miss or overlook day to day, maybe because I am looking for them as part of my joy, feeling like humanity is still good, still vibrant.  Tomorrow is a new day…and I am hopeful things are gonna get better…at some point they have to get better. That's just the way I feel. Everything gets better for me. No matter what I am dealing with I know it's gonna get better.  That's the kind of thing I try to give to other people." 

Somehow, both of those stories came together in my heart this week. 

Creating: Easter projects beginning. I am skipping over Valentine's because who am I kidding? It is less than two weeks from now and I will be traveling anyway. That, and stuff takes a lot longer than expected to finish in my world.  We have half a chance of completing something by Easter. : )  

Thinking about: Progress.  Maybe it's 50 looming.  Maybe it's time.  Maybe it's grace.  There is so much on my life learning list and I wish I had it all mastered yesterday.  The time it takes to learn new skills has historically passed maddeningly slowly to pass to me. Someone shared this the other day from the founder of Uggs, speaking at a conference.  He said the best way for a tadpole to become a frog is to enjoy every day of being a tadpole.  Moral being don't rush it. Enjoy the journey.  Let progress unfold naturally.  

Around the house: We learned to repair drywall after a drain pipe leak. We, being the husband part of the household. We will soon be starting up painting trim again.  The little girls have discovered my old Victoria magazines and are enthralled with all things floral and throwback. Since I never stopped being enthralled with those things, and since their older sisters never were quite as enthralled, I couldn't be happier. My friend Teri and I were discussing old houses and new styles and the term "single era decor" stuck out to me.  Perhaps that is what is not quite right to me in so many shelter publications today. Best line in the conversation was, "Home is something that develops, not something that is created in a single swoop."  

Feb 2016 flowers web (1 of 1)

5 thoughts on “Daybook: looking back, looking forward edition

  1. “Home is something that develops, not something that is created in a single swoop.”
    This is exactly the message I need right now, Kim! We close on the new house Friday. Floor sanding and staining is scheduled for next week, painting and white enameling the next two weeks, main floor light fixtures updates and carpet last.
    I meet with a PB designer Saturday (free services!) and am fighting a craving for the house to look picture perfect before we move in, lest we get complacent and leave much undone, or fill in the blank spots badly over time. But The Voice of Reason (aka my husband) tells me that we must first pay for all of this work first, then update and sell our current home before buying everything on my wish list/pin boards. Whah. Here I want to strike while the iron is hot instead of engaging in the process, maintaining motivation and practicing prudence. Not hard to identify the vices I get to fight this Lent!
    And – YES – single era decor. I just won’t be able to do the gray paint on the walls and industrial light fixtures that are popular now. What I would like is two large pendant lanterns over the island but the current footprint is a single hole in the ceiling branching our with multiple lights over the island. Oh well.

  2. Resist the temptation. What we gain in creating a showroom is fashion which is fickle and passing. I am already seeing articles suggesting the subway tile and griege era is beginning to wan. What you lose is your own voice which gains strength over time. You lose the great opportunity to stamp your own family’s individual mark.
    Way way too often I have literally mourned my decor (sounds silly but true!) or worse made a big investment only to tire of it later. God will send the perfect items your way, in your budget and His timing. He does care about these little things that bring us joy.

  3. Moving as much as we have (I know you totally feel that, the good and the bad), we’ve mastered the art of getting in quickly and making houses homes — just for our peace of heart. In-so-doing we’ve amassed a collection beautifully old, beaten up, but beloved bits of furniture and art: a bead-board cupboard from a turn-of-the-century grocery store, our 1920s farm table, our mismatched chairs from a ’70s era restaurant, a wall of photographs, a painting won in a rafle — put together with spanking new sofas. Voila! No decorating magazine anywhere would give it the nod, but it’s home. No matter where we are. 🙂 Nothing static, nothing arriving at the same time with some grand scheme — always adding and changing. Remember the summer kitchen, Kim? Nowhere to reproduce that here in the “forever home,” so guess what we’re doing? We’re turning our 2-car attached garage into an Irish-pub-themed Rec Room. Nothing static. 🙂

  4. I enjoyed reading your thoughts and sharing your fun moments too. I try to stay away from decorating fads which is easy since our home is a definite mixture of hand-me-down, consignment and IKEA. 🙂

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