Lovey-land has a detailed tutorial here.

A woman posed a question to me yesterday which got me thinking.  She wanted to know my stance on textbook learning.  I answered her question in comments (which apparently disallows paragraph formatting – yikes!) but felt another word was in order. So here goes. 

Do I have a 'stance'?  I guess so.  The stance would be there are lots of ways to succeed and very often,  maybe most often in my life anyway, it ends up being the way we had scarcely considered.  In my life, when I am seeking success in a given area my first instinct has been to seek out advice from those I admire.  I say that, but that translates into, "I seek out the advice of those I envy," or "I seek to emulate those who appear to have it all together," or any number of other motives which may or more likely may not bring me closer to success.  Those giants I sought tended to dwell on the internet or in print which makes for a few major problems. 

First, since they don't live next door they don't know me.  They don't know my kids.  Their well-intended advice may be completely inappropriate for our family in these circumstances. 

Second, the reverse holds true.  Because they are not next door I have no idea how much of the life they portray is accurate and honest. I don't know what their home looks like, how their children behave, what success they enjoy.  I can't ascertain whether their methods are contributing to or jeopardizing peace and balance.  The hard truth is, many times we don't see the whole picture and it is unwise to base major life decisions on such a foundation.

Most importantly however, they are not the ones God put in charge of this family. My family.  They were not given a vision for these children.  As impressive as their vision may be, I have no guarantee that it at all matches up to that which God intended for this bunch. There is one person who does however.  Their daddy. 

Over the yrs I immersed myself in homeschool books, internet gurus, and pretty much every other possible source of information one could lay hands upon.  I was well-versed in methodology and could tsk and sigh with the best of them at the poor folks who didn't know any better than to have "school at home" or who I assumed thought "inside the box."  Those of us who struggled with housework or fatigue were assured that burnout was normal and expectations had to be lowered.  I convinced myself that my husband had delegated education to me and that I had his blanket approval for pretty much whatever I planned. Surely he appreciated all my research and deferred to me in this area right? All this combined to keep me strolling along with the status quo for a lot of years. 

Lorrie Flem's Teach mailing shared advice to bring Dad into the homeschool.  Not by making him teach classes after work or whatnot but by truly basing our schools on HIS vision for his kids.  She insisted that if you ask, reeeeally ask sincerely, that you may be surprised to discover that yes, he has opinions.  He may have strong opinions which he has opted not to share in light of your apparent expertise. She also warned that you should prepare your homeschool to be shaken up if you ask such questions and intend to act upon them. 

I did that. She was right. : )   Friends of mine did the same. We discovered that despite all the convincing articles to the contrary, our husbands did want our kids to take tests and study and memorize.  They wanted them to be well-read for sure, but they also wanted them to possess skills necessary to succeed in traditional school settings.  They supported our lifestyle but they did not want our academic choices to dictate and define all of our life together.  

We adjusted.   We tried new things.  More accurately, we tried some OLD things that we were told would never work.  They worked.  And I would never have had this experience if my head was stuck in the screen instead of here in my family.  

My 'stance' is that my stance is irrelevant.  It really doesn't matter a bit in your family.  You don't know me and my opinion isn't worth beans to you.  If you are married and have children there is one person who does have an opinion – their Daddy.  Ask him.  Sincerely ask him and vow not to roll your eyes (even interiorly) at what he may tell you. Step out in faith if need be and be willing to follow his lead. Realize that if you have been out in front of this parade for any length of time he may not appear interested in leading it or may direct hesitantly.  That's ok too.   Your heavenly father and your children's earthly father can and will work it all out and get your family on a good steady path if you let them. 

It can be scary to let go of all the 'truths' you have clutched tightly.  But you come out in a good place.  There is a Christian song which always makes me smile because it describes so well the journey I have been on:

"I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Giving in to your gravity

Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me"  

-Francesca Battistelli 

Coloring pages figure rather prominently in our homeschool.  Admitting this to other homeschoolers is akin to announcing that xbox or Pokemon figures prominently into your homeschool. ; )  I mean, really, you color?  And that is supposed to be art?  Well, in a word, yes.  Here is how we make it so. 

Anna's response to questions about her daughter's course of study made me smile:

This was a fun way to pass an hour.   The boys used this template to make several action figures – cowboy, skateboarder, Jedi <g>   Then you stack them, staple them, and cut into thirds.  The end result is a flip book enabling them to make a whole bunch of funny looking combinations.  

Rebecca recently shared her list of the essentials for a simple school year.  Included was "a plethora of good books on a variety of topics from which to choose, both fiction and non fiction, which can be from the library or your own family collection." While I spent a considerable amount of time agonizing over different programs, both purchased and mom-designed, it was this plethora of good books that stayed with our older boys.   A chance visit to one son's facebook page last week drove home just how significant some of those books have been. One son tagged his brothers to list the 15  books which will always stick with you.   Here are two of their unedited lists:

I didn't plan to post again today since we are in home improvement overdrive. However when I saw the Homeschool Freebie of the Day was titled Taming the Homeschool Information Overload I stopped to read, since this is a topic near and dear to my heart.  After offering audible cheers to the screen I thought I would link here in case anyone missed it.  This is a must read for homeschoolers.  

In this day and age we are bombarded with resources vying for our wallets and attention.  For many of us it is easy enough to resist the pricey items.  It is far more challenging to pass up FREE however. This article reminds us of the very real cost of FREE however in terms of time, distraction, and disorganization. They warn,

"Don't be caught in an “Information Hoarding” mentality 

Information Overload can sometimes be a sign of laziness. Lots of us tend to be 

information  custodians instead of users. It is a lot easier to just sit down and keep 

feeding yourself information without thinking of how to implement it. 

If you sense you are just spending your time accumulating but not applying, give 

yourself permission to let things pass you by. "

The other especially important advice,

"Stay Away From “Pretty, Shiny Things” that sidetrack you from your current 

homeschool plans. 

and can stick to your plan and avoid the “pretty shiny objects” that are constantly 

coming at you, you’ll get further along than you ever thought possible. "

When you have made a plan, selected time-tested ideas and materials, then just run with it. There are new things available every day.  As Jessica Hulcy once said, 

"If there are creative ideas, they will be replaced. If there are great curricula, they will be superseded. If there are effective techniques, they will be improved." 

That is no reflection on what you own and use today because in the end methods and materials are simply tools which will be more or less effective in your hands based on your focus and your attitude. Therefore,

"Focus on your plan, buy only those products which help you do it better, faster, 

cheaper, or easier and you’ll prevent information overload."

Stay the course, keep it simple, start with the core work, and then do no more than you can do with great tenderness.  As to all the wonderful things you may be missing?  Let them go.  Put on your blinders, smile at those beautiful children in front of you and marvel at a freshly wiped table and dishes drying on the rack.   Leave the resources on the computer, walk away from the catalogs, and get outside for some real life.  It passes by faster than you can know. 

At first glance it may seem contrary to speak about silence as a virtue for the teacher.  Several times this past week I have run across articles insisting this very thing however.  The first was in an essay by Brother Agathon,  The Twelve Virtues of a Good Teacher.  Reflecting upon St. Benedict's counsel to avoid letting our words come rushing out, but rather to speak true and weighty words, he says:

Silence is a virtue which leads the teacher to avoid talking when he must not speak and to 

speak when he should not be silent. 

 This virtue, therefore, includes two functions.  It teaches the art of being silent, and that 

of speaking opportunely.  Thus, it causes one to avoid two opposite defects which it condemns: 

taciturnity and loquacity. 

…experience shows that the teachers who talk a lot are hardly listened to, and 

that little account is taken of what they say.  But if they speak rarely and to the point, the 

students pay attention to what they are told, like it, remember it, and profit by it."

Many years later Charlotte Mason gave similar advice to the home-teaching mother:

"The Mother must refrain from too much Talk.––Does so wide a programme alarm the mother? Does she with dismay see herself talking through the whole of those five or six hours, and, even at that, not getting through a tithe of the teaching laid out for her? On the contrary, the less she says the better; and as for the quantity of educational work to be got through, it is the fable of the anxious pendulum over again: it is true there are countless 'ticks' to be ticked, but there will be always be a second of time to tick in, and no more than a single tick is to be delivered in any given second.

…The mother's real difficulty will be to keep herself from much talk with the children, and to hinder them from occupying themselves with her. There are few things sweeter and more precious to the child than playful prattle with her mother; but one thing is better––the communing with the larger Mother, in order to which the child and she should be left to themselves. This is, truly, a delightful thing to watch: the mother reads her book or knits her sock, checking all attempts to make talk; the child stares up into a tree, or down into a flower––doing nothing, thinking of nothing; or leads a bird's life among the branches, or capers about in aimless ecstasy;––quite foolish, irrational doings, but, all the time a fashioning is going on: Nature is doing her part…" (quoted here)

This same sentiment leads Kolbe Academy to say:

Insistence upon self~activity should be directed toward forming in the student the habit of independent study and reading directed toward interest in scholarly pursuits. 

Instead of alienating the student from the teacher silence and self-activity instead contribute to "a cooperative effort" between the two. 

Our goal is not to abandon the child but to allow him the joy of discovery born from ruminating on a subject. We should discuss, yes, but not lecture. As Jessica Hulcy of Konos has said, every homeschool mother needs two things – a gag and a set of handcuffs, not for the children but for herself.  It is tempting when teaching to view oneself as the font of all wisdom.  More is caught than taught however and our students benefit more when we introduce them to facts and ideas and then step aside to let that wisdom work its magic than when we talk them to death. We must weigh our words and be certain they are likely to contribute to understanding rather than muddy the waters with chatter. 

“Talking comes by nature, silence by wisdom."